People Who Try Way Too Hard To Impress Everyone Else Usually Have 10 Off-Putting Habits
Vitaly Gariev | Pexels It's normal to want to feel understood and appreciated by others. It’s what bonds us all together and sparks shared experiences when we meet other people for the first time. But there’s a certain level of healthy validation necessary to protect our self-esteem.
Unfortunately, for people who try way too hard to impress everyone around them, they take on habits that become their entire identity. They let these things define their sense of self, and once people really get to see through the facade they're putting on, it becomes blatantly obvious.
Habits people often have when they try way too hard to impress everyone
1. They try to 'one-up' other people’s achievements
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We all know someone who uses every conversation as a way to one-up other people’s achievements. They’re always doing something bigger and more worthy of validation. This attention-seeking behavior isn’t just annoying, it’s also dismissive of other people’s success, and can pose uncomfortable tensions in healthy relationships.
According to psychologist Mark Travers, this one-upmanship can manifest as both a subtle and outright means of competition. It gives people who yearn for attention and validation a chance to assert their superiority over others. While they often feel like silly remarks, this competition can spark resentment.
2. They fish for compliments
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Fishing for compliments is a social game. According to psychology professor Joachim I. Krueger, it's where people who tend to be insecure and slightly selfish seek validation in every exchange. Unfortunately, when someone is trying to impress everyone, they may use this behavior as a way to paint themselves as someone they're not.
People with higher social intelligence may use compliment fishing, or humblebragging, as a study from the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology argues is similarly effective to achieve this validation. Both trying to impress others by getting validation and fueling their insecurity, this tendency becomes more apparent when it’s acknowledged or dismissed.
3. They name drop in conversations
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Narcissists have an inflated sense of self and an intrinsic need for validation from others, much like people who try way too hard to impress others. They will also name drop in conversations to get attention and misguided praise.
By mentioning someone important they’ve worked with or a celebrity they saw in public, they can feed into their low self-esteem when others show interest. It's effective for them, even if people are generally unimpressed or uninterested.
4. They change their opinions depending on who’s around
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While it might be less noticeable to a passing stranger, people close to those who try hard to get validation may notice when their friends or family change their opinions or beliefs around different people. Sometimes, it’s a way to keep the peace in a conversation, but in others, it’s a way for them to get in the good graces of someone they want to impress.
According to a study from the Psychological Bulletin, many people who shapeshift to portray a particular perception of themselves are motivated by anxiety. They’re constantly thinking about impressing others or trying to belong because of their insecurities, so they change their true personality and identity.
5. They play the victim
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Self-victimization is the tendency for people to play the victim and avoid accountability. They shift blame away from themselves and seek sympathy from others, even if they’re wrong. They may also use this tactic to portray their successes, suggesting they worked harder to achieve something because of their victimhood.
When people act like victims, it's in an effort to cover up their low confidence. But it only makes things worse for themselves. They may tell themselves they aren't good enough or capable of honing their skills. It's all to elicit sympathy from others.
6. They subtly put others down
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Often used to assert superiority individually, the tendency to put others down seems to have increased over the years. When people criticize or insult someone else, they're doing so in a misguided attempt to win them over and impress them.
For their victims, rather than trying to disagree or dismiss it, they can turn the situation into a challenge. By turning hurtful language or passive jokes into a compliment or addressing it head-on, they can protect their emotional health and set clear boundaries about the kind of respect they demand.
7. They love to talk about themselves
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The parts of our brains associated with motivation and validation are most stimulated when we talk about ourselves. It’s a tendency that we’re all prone to indulge in, especially considering the fulfillment we experience.
But people who seek validation above all else will overindulge in talking about themselves, often to the point where others feel less space to be heard and empathize. So, be wary of someone who never asks a question and demands constant attention in conversations.
8. They overdress for casual occasions
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While it might be less definitive in pointing out someone trying too hard to impress others, many people with narcissistic tendencies tend to overdress to get attention from others. Even when at a casual event or gathering, they're dressed to the nines to get a reaction.
They hope to catch extra glances from others and impress people with their style. Even when it’s not necessarily good attention, they’re willing to charm and talk about themselves to win people over for the sake of their self-esteem.
9. They lie about small things
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People wanting to impress everyone around them rely on dishonesty to feed into their egos. From getting a new job to going on a great date to getting a compliment in the grocery store, they don’t mind lying to get attention, even about the most minor things.
Constant little white lies should be red flags, however. Even the worst liars tend to use dishonesty more and more, as their brain is adapting to their harmful tendencies.
10. They’re overly extroverted around other people
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Many people driven by validation will change around others to get positive attention and assert their superiority. By being overly expressive and loud, they can demand attention and feed into insecurities.
Though our personalities sometimes change depending on where we are or who we're around, it's a bit strange when people aren't their authentic selves. People like this may become someone they really aren't just to impress others. In the end, it does them a disservice.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
