Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Completely Different Ideas Of What It Means To Be Selfish
MAYA LAB / Shutterstock When people from different generations accuse someone of being selfish, they're talking about completely different behaviors without even realizing it. Though the word hasn't changed over time, the way each generation defines it has.
Shaped by their own experiences and values, what boomers see as healthy self-respect might be seen as being self-centered by Gen Z. Neither is necessarily right or wrong. It's just a reflection of the world each generation grew up in.
Each generation has its own perception of what it means to be selfish:
Boomers equate selfishness with failing to meet social obligations
To boomers, selfishness is often associated with failing to fulfill your responsibilities. They were raised during a time when hard work and sacrifice were considered the foundation of a good life. Many grew up being told that providing for your family came before your own wants.
You didn't quit because you were unhappy, and you didn't skip obligations just because you didn't feel like it. Because of this mindset, this generation sees being selfish as taking care of what needs to be done before taking care of yourself.
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But that doesn't mean boomers never prioritize themselves. It just looks a bit different. Taking care of their families and building stable careers often required some level of personal sacrifice, so behaviors that are intended to protect their own mental well-being are sometimes viewed as self-centered. Putting yourself first risks looking like you're putting everyone else second, and that's not how they want to be perceived.
For Gen X, selfishness is letting others carry your weight
If boomers believe that being selfish is neglecting your duties, Gen X sees it as refusing to pull your own weight. Many Gen Xers grew up to be independent from a young age. They admire competence and self-sufficiency above all else, and they have very little patience for people who expect others to pick up the slack.
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That perspective influences how many members of this generation define selfishness today. Prioritizing yourself every once in a while is totally fine, but expecting special treatment or avoiding accountability is not. They tend to respect people most when they live life on their own terms, and still take care of their responsibilities.
Millennials view selfishness as forgetting to take care of yourself
Millennials have always needed to work harder, do more, and make bigger sacrifices for their futures, even if it feels increasingly out of reach. But at the same time, they've also helped bring ideas like self-care and work-life balance to the forefront of society. As a result, they don't see putting yourself first as selfish. They know that it's necessary.
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However, that doesn't mean that anything goes. Millennials also think selfishness is acting without thinking about how your choices affect others. The goal is finding a balance where everyone gets their needs met.
Gen Z believes that ignoring other people's humanity is selfish
In the modern world, conversations about identity and boundaries are a normal part of life, and protecting your peace is crucial to survival. Gen Z understands that saying "no" and cutting off toxic people are simply signs of self-respect, not selfishness.
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Instead, Gen Z is more likely to see being selfish as lacking empathy and putting your own feelings above someone else's basic dignity. Respecting yourself and respecting others can exist at the same time, so in their eyes, truly selfish people are the ones who expect everyone else to sacrifice their energy and well-being.
Kayla Asbach is a writer with a bachelor's degree from the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
