Gen Z, Millennials, Gen X & Boomers Have Very Different Ideas Of What Counts As Good Manners
Harbucks | Shutterstock The generational divide might be easiest to see in the way different age groups think about proper manners. Older people often accuse younger generations of being downright disrespectful, while those young folks argue that their older counterparts don’t understand them. The truth is each generation has grown up with different expectations based on how their families interact and what they are taught in school, as well as what they see on both traditional and social media.
Gen Z, millennials, Gen X, and baby boomers all have their own ideas about what actually counts as good manners
Older generations seem to care more about traditional manners, while younger generations focus more on people’s actions, since someone can appear to have perfect etiquette and still not be a very nice person.
Boomers take formal manners seriously as a sign of respect.
Baby boomers were raised in a more traditional era when formal etiquette was the standard, even for kids. They learned a lot about having respectful face-to-face interactions, which is something that they still value now in the digital age.
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Little things like showing deference to elders and dressing for the occasion seem old-fashioned to many younger people, but boomers think they send a deeper message. The Emily Post Institute refers to this as the principles of etiquette, which are respect, consideration, and honesty.
For boomers, having good manners isn’t about doing what is expected of them. It means treating people with the respect they deserve. Boomers think being polite and following basic rules of etiquette is essential, not optional.
Gen X mixes traditional manners with adapting to a rapidly changing world.
Gen Xers still held onto a lot of the traditional manners boomers had, but with a twist. Multigenerational workplace expert Lindsay Pollak explained that they watched technology advance in real time, so they’re more comfortable with both in-person and online interactions.
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Another hallmark of this generation is their self-reliance. They learned to take care of themselves from a young age as latchkey kids, which taught them to avoid inconveniencing other people whenever possible. They think it’s polite to handle things themselves instead of expecting other people to get involved.
When it comes to good manners, Gen X sees the wisdom in treating people with respect in all situations. They don’t think virtual interactions are rude if they’re handled properly. They also think the nicest thing they can do for other people is to not ask them to do anything at all.
Millennials are more concerned with showing good manners online.
Older generations have been known to accuse millennials of not having good manners, but it seems more likely that they have their own idea of etiquette since they’re living in a very different world.
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According to one study, millennials care more about showing good manners online than in real life. For example, they don’t see a reason to give up their seat for someone who needs it more, but they draw the line at ghosting.
It’s understandable that boomers and Gen Xers think millennials are focused on the wrong things. Some of them agree and are attending etiquette classes to improve their social skills. But most of their life is lived digitally, and they have no problem showing good manners there.
Gen Z thinks having good manners means treating other people well.
From table manners to workplace etiquette, Gen Z is bucking tradition completely. They just don’t see the need to keep old-fashioned customs around that feel obligatory to them instead of genuine, meaning they often draw even more criticism than millennials.
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But ignoring formalities doesn’t make Gen Z rude. They focus more on showing personal respect than going through the motions. Boundaries are important to them, and so is making sure no one feels singled out in a bad way.
For Gen Z, it might be more accurate to describe good manners as kindness and respect. They don’t follow conventions because they don’t think that’s necessary for showing people they care. It’s an attitude to them, not a set of guidelines.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
