4 Fascinating Insights Into Men That Will Finally Make Them Make Sense
Men can sometimes feel impossible to figure out, but psychology says these habits explain what really drives them.
Vicky Hladynets | Unsplash Sometimes it's hard to believe that men and women don’t come from different planets. Truth be told, we are definitely two different species in many ways.
But the good news is, when men and women learn to understand their differences, they can become beautiful complements to each other and can thrive in relationships. If you want to see a man flourish and grow in a relationship, here are some crucial tips to keep in mind to help you understand the male mind.
Here are four fascinating insights into men that will finally make them make sense:
1. Men are wired to protect and provide
The male brain is wired to protect his “tribe” from threats, even in our modern-day world. If you are a strong, independent woman, you may want to reject a man’s need to protect, knowing you can handle anything on your own.
However, it is important to know that when a man protects, it never means that he thinks you’re incapable or weak. It means that he is responding to his most basic biological instincts, and that he sees you as something valuable and worth protecting.
So, my sisters, I challenge you. When your man gets a little protective and wants to keep you safe, let him. You may be surprised by how satisfyingly safe it feels to the feminine side of you when you allow this masculine energy to support you.
2. Men are singularly focused
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In our more primitive human history, men and women had distinct roles. Men hunted. Women gathered. While our world has progressed, not much has changed when it comes to the wiring of the male and female brain.
Men are wired to focus on one task at a time. Think about it: the hunter doesn’t aim for the entire herd. He could miss his target.
He only aims for one target at a time. A woman gathering berries in a field looks for as many berries as she can find, not just one. Her brain has a wide-angle lens. The male brain has a single focus lens.
The key here is to remember that one is not better than the other. Both serve an important function, which is essentially to keep the “tribe” alive. Men and women can be a great complement to each other when our differences are understood.
Some studies have suggested that men's brains have proportionally more gray matter (which is the brain's information-processing centers), which could promote tunnel vision and single-task concentration. Men may be socialized to focus more on specific, goal-oriented tasks.
3. Men are problem-solvers
Have you ever felt frustrated when you’re trying to vent about something that happened in your day, and your man keeps trying to solve your problem? Women like to vent and process their feelings, and don’t necessarily need a solution.
Men like to solve the problem. Again, think single-focused vs. multi-focused. If you want to empower a man in his masculine energy, ask him to fix something for you, even if you are perfectly capable of fixing it yourself.
Or, if you just need to “vent” about something that happened, let him know. Be clear that you don’t need him to fix it for you. Understanding this difference between men and women, and developing the ability to communicate about it, can go a long way in a relationship.
The hunter-gatherer hypothesis suggests that ancestral males, who often engaged in hunting and territorial navigation, developed spatial reasoning and systematic problem-solving skills. Modern research consistently shows that problem-solving ability is far more dependent on individual personality, training, experience, and context than on gender.
4. Men crave freedom
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It is fulfilling for a man to feel emptiness, release, and freedom. He wants to connect with the world, but he also wants to feel free from the confines and stress of the world. Women, on the other hand, seek connection and fullness.
This doesn’t mean that men don’t want relationships. But what it does mean is that sometimes he needs to retreat and withdraw to refocus his energy.
When you notice a man doing this, notice what happens when you pull back and give him the space to disconnect. If he comes back, he’s just being a healthy, normal man. It doesn’t mean he is disconnecting from you!
Remember, he needs to feel freedom, at the same time that you’re aching for connection. Two opposing needs can cause a lot of misunderstanding, unless you’re able to recognize the differences. He is simply replenishing his energy.
Allowing a man to have the space to withdraw and then reconnect is vital.
Rather than a simple fear of commitment, this craving can be a complex response to social conditioning, and in many cases, it masks a deep desire for connection and support. Research has shown that a lack of social connections and emotional intimacy is linked to loneliness, a contributing factor to men's shorter average lifespans.
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