People Who Are Mentally & Emotionally Competent Usually Have 5 Distinct Traits
Oleg Reznichenko | Shutterstock Being mentally and emotionally competent is all about having the combination of emotional intelligence and fortitude to succeed no matter what life throws at you. But there's no beacon that shines, letting others know who has these tools and who is just faking it.
Most of us grew up being told that we are smart and special and can save the world (or at least I hope so). However, as we get older, we realize this isn’t necessarily the case. Some people think they are highly competent when in reality, they aren’t. Competent people don't flaunt the fact that they have things figured out. But you can learn how to recognize them by the distinct traits they often share.
Distinct traits mentally & emotionally competent people usually share:
1. They're hard to impress
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Competent people do get impressed, but by different things than incompetent people do. For example, they favor people who have a stronger sense of direction and individuality than those who follow the norms.
In a study by psychologists Jeromy Anglim and Andrew Marty, 15,552 Australian adults were surveyed to see if there was a correlation between intelligence and personal values. They found that higher cognitive ability was associated with placing less importance on conformity and traditional values.
This explains why competent people don’t get impressed by stereotypical things, like material wealth. They would rather have a deep experience with somebody who opens their eyes.
2. They solve problems quickly
The way to build confidence is to set a goal and follow through on it. Committing to the gym four times a week for a month may seem impossible before you start. However, once you do it, you realize you can do whatever you set your mind to.
Competent people have goals, and they are practical in how they reach them. They have good problem-solving skills, which makes them more trustworthy to others. Problem-solving means thinking through the options and picking the best one. They don’t have time to put up with people's poor decision-making.
3. They feel lonely in conversations
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Studies have shown that intelligent people are usually the loneliest. This sounds counterintuitive, right? Well, according to a study published in the British Journal of Psychology, among the 15,000 people surveyed, most reported needing social interaction to be happy. The people with high intelligence in the study, however, reported that more social interaction actually resulted in a lower life satisfaction score.
There are a few reasons as to why this might be. Mark Travers, PhD, explained that the “Savana theory” (humans need close communities in order to survive) doesn’t necessarily apply to highly intelligent people. “Individuals with higher intelligence may be better equipped to adapt to evolutionarily novel environments.” Travers added, “Because of this adaptability, their happiness may be less dependent on the constant social interaction that benefited humans in ancestral environments.”
Another reason is that highly intelligent people struggle to find people who see the world as they do. So, they would rather be alone than have to sit through a dinner party where nobody understands them.
4. They're suspicious of experts
Competent people do a lot of research on their own, purely because they enjoy it. However, the more they research, the more they realize that the people in charge may not actually know what they are doing.
Highly competent people look for flaws in systems and demand to know the truth. They refuse to accept the world for what it is. This is a lot like what Anglim and Marty reported in their study: highly competent people question power.
5. They have high standards
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In the words of Olivia Rodrigo, "these days, I've got expectations." Competent people don’t put up with mediocrity.
This applies to any area of their lives, especially romantic relationships. They know their self-worth and understand what they deserve and what they don’t. If their partner isn’t giving them what they deserve, they are smart enough to leave, even if it hurts. They know that something better is waiting for them.
Sophie Bagheri is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and theatre who covers lifestyle topics.
