Dad-To-Be ‘Miserable’ Living In The Suburbs Misses Apartment Life — ‘All My Free Time Goes Into This Rundown House’
Owning a home isn't all it's cracked up to be.
MAYA LAB | Shutterstock A dad-to-be admitted that he and his wife are struggling financially to keep up with a house that they recently bought. Posting about it to the subreddit "r/Apartmentliving," he claimed that the "grass isn't always greener" when it comes to owning a home versus living in an apartment.
Thinking they had reached the pinnacle of adulthood and success, the couple bought a house because they were about to welcome their first child. Unfortunately, the dad-to-be wasn't exactly loving his new life in the suburbs and confessed that he missed their apartment life. Now, all his free time is sucked up on house projects, and he really doesn't like it.
A dad-to-be said he's 'miserable' living in the suburbs and misses apartment living.
Ursula Page | Shutterstock
"My wife insisted on buying a house. We left our luxury apartment in the arts district and got pretty much the only house we could afford in the rural suburb we wanted," he began in his Reddit post. "Now I’m the gardener, handyman, pool man, maid, and financier. She helps out a little here and there, like loading the dishwasher but it’s mostly me because we have a pretty tight budget and she’s pregnant."
He wrote, "I miss my old roof top pool and jacuzzi. I miss the gym, rec rooms, and concierge. I miss my neighbors’ amazing cars and my wall to ceiling windows with views of LA that were inspiring. I miss being able to walk to bars and restaurants."
And while all those amenities do sound pretty amazing, his life is about to change in a big way once their baby comes into the world, and he might change his tune about the house he currently regrets.
The dad-to-be dislikes that all his free time seems to be spent on taking care of the house.
One of the biggest headaches of homeownership is all the maintenance, and it's something that apartment lovers always put at the top of their list for reasons they never want to own.
He explained that it's "pretty miserable," and he feels that all of his free time goes into taking care of their "run-down house." When one thing gets fixed, it isn't long before he's turning around and something else needs repairing. Reminiscing about the luxury building they used to live in, he missed all the amenities and the convenience of living in an apartment where all his needs were taken care of.
"We’ve made a bunch of equity on the house and she loves it. We’re about to have a kid and the extra room is nice but I’m seriously considering renting out our house and moving back to an apartment," he continued. "We’re not broke or anything, but it can feel tight sometimes."
For many homeowners, the upkeep of a house is often worse than buying it in the first place.
Many people will agree that a home is just a money pit. When living in an apartment, if something breaks or needs repairs, you simply call maintenance, and it's taken care of, usually at no additional charge. However, when you're a homeowner, you're responsible for the upkeep and the associated costs that come with it.
According to the Improving America's Housing report, in 2023, homeowners with lower incomes spent significantly less on all types of remodeling and repairs and were by far the most burdened by these expenses. On average, homeowners in the lowest income groups spent 16% of their household income on improvements and maintenance, including homeowners who did not undertake any spending. By comparison, homeowners in the top percentile spent just under 4% of their incomes on average.
Similarly, in research conducted by Today's Homeowner, most homeowners (82%) said that at least one area of their home needs maintenance. Nearly 60% of homeowners said they’re putting off home repairs because they can’t afford them. It's not hard to see why many people are second-guessing the idea of becoming homeowners.
But as one commenter noted, "As an adult im fine with an apartment with a view, as my car gives me freedom, but as a kid I would have been miserable not being able to play in a yard and adventure." And that's the piece of the puzzle he hasn't factored in yet. His wife wants a home for their family, and she loves it. They have a baby on the way, and a house with a yard is a privilege that not many can afford to give their children.
Yes, being a homeowner is expensive. Yes, it requires a tremendous amount of work. But as one wise commenter noted, "a lot of the maintenance is likely neglect related to a degree. A lot of stuff becomes easier to maintain once you fix other things that are causing those issues."
Perhaps this dad-to-be should just give their new residence a chance. Once the baby arrives, he won't be missing the rooftop pool and jacuzzi as much because he won't have time to even consider enjoying them. Same goes for the bars and restaurants in walking distance.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
