The Most Confident And Respected People Avoid Making These 10 Common Mistakes, According To Psychology
Avoid these errors and watch your natural confidence rise like a flag in chaos.
Sabrina Bracher | Canva 40 years hurtling through space on a massive ball of dirt taught me a lot. After making the same mistakes over and over again, there comes a point where you have to take the loss and learn from it. There’s so much I did out of immaturity and a lack of awareness that stole my natural sense of joy and confidence.
Research within the organizational psychology field explains that cultivating respect involves being considerate, honest, reliable, open-minded, accountable, and respectful of yourself and others. Avoiding the following habits will help you build stronger relationships and earn the respect of those around you.
The most confident and respected people avoid making these common mistakes:
1. Taking things too seriously
It isn’t life that’s hard, but your thoughts that make it so. Realize this, and make a pact with yourself to be light as you tread this short time on Earth.
You’ll have more self-respect and attract the right people. You don’t do this because you’re deluded but because you refuse to fall into the common trap that sucks most people’s energy.
2. Believing others owe you happiness
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There’s nothing more soul-draining than waiting around, expecting others to act in a certain way before you can be at ease. You’re at the center of it all.
You’re already happy by default, no matter what other people decide to do with their lives. Choose happiness, regardless of the situation. This is true strength and will save you years of frustration.
Research suggests that feeling entitled to happiness from others can negatively impact personal well-being. This sense of entitlement, defined as believing one should have everything one wants, often at the expense of others, can damage relationships and ultimately hinder personal happiness.
3. Being dishonest to be liked
Notice when you do this and see it as the terrible habit that it is. You want approval, I get it. So you shift your behavior to appear better. But now you’re undermining your integrity and neglecting your inner dragon.
If you feel low, it’s often because you aren’t being true to yourself. Learn to ask for what you want and to say what you mean, regardless of what others think. Otherwise, you fade.
4. Comparing yourself to others
No one is you. So comparison is a fool’s game, designed to keep you insecure and weak.
All it takes is a shift in view. You’re on your journey, your track. No one’s done what you’ve done or been through what you have. Learn from others; be inspired by them.
But do not compare yourself unfavorably to what others have done. If you can’t take it, turn off the source of discomfort and get back to creating remarkable things.
While social comparison is a natural human tendency, it can lead to dissatisfaction, depression, and anxiety. Studies have also shown that individuals may experience improved motivation through comparison, which can lead to self-criticism and destructive behaviors.
5. Listening to insecure thoughts
We all experience thousands of thoughts throughout the day. You can’t turn them off, but you can learn to untether yourself from their hold. An insecure thought may appear, but now you have a decision to make.
Hold on to it firmly and be miserable, or watch it float past without judgment. Making the latter a habit makes you increasingly resilient. You become a literal superstar.
6. Doing everything too fast
There’s a difference between acting assertively and rushing. Most of us act like drug-addled squirrels in search of their next nut. Slow down. Life slows for you and makes everything surprisingly easy when you do.
Slow your movements and your speaking. Now you command more respect when you speak. And you have the mental space to make better decisions. Seize the day, but never rush.
Hurry sickness is a chronic feeling of urgency and the compulsive need to rush through life. It causes a pattern of frantic behavior, multitasking, and frequent checking of the clock. Research has recommended prioritizing rest, healthy meals, and enjoyable activities, which can improve overall well-being and reduce stress.
7. Sitting too long in comfort
You weren’t built to sit around in your Garfield shorts all day chasing short-term pleasures. You make yourself miserable that way because you aren’t doing what humans are supposed to do, which is to create things. Building great things will fill up your tank, but you’ll need to face some discomfort. It’s the price of entry.
8. Overexplaining
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Rambling, over-clarifying, and justifying is insecurity in disguise. Act now and ask for forgiveness later. Don't wait for good things to happen. You get out there and get what you want. And you don’t need to explain why you’re doing it, like a hen-pecked husband.
Overexplaining is a behavior characterized by providing excessive details or justification for one's actions, decisions, or thoughts. It often stems from underlying anxieties, insecurities, or past experiences. One study argues that overexplaining can be a form of people-pleasing, sometimes referred to as the fawn response, where individuals attempt to appease others to avoid conflict or adverse reactions.
9. Overplanning and underdoing
This is often the case among intelligent people. You spend far too much time reading books and analyzing your next steps, fooling yourself into believing this is progress.
Learn a little, but match that with following through. The second part is more challenging because now you invite loss. Good. You’re alive with all of us on this planet.
You must develop an immunity to failure and rejection. You do this by seeing why these are good things rather than bad things. Lean in.
10. Blaming others and the world for your troubles
Newsflash, buttface: the world will continually throw curveballs in your general direction. Just like the rest of us. There’s never a good time. Never the right conditions for your plans.
Blame might give you the excuses you’re clinging to, but ultimately, you sabotage yourself. If you’re the victim, you identify as such, and you’ll shape your world as an oppressive force that sets you back even further.
Take responsibility for everything. Avoid these, and watch your natural confidence rise like a flag in chaos.
Alex Mathers is a writer and coach who helps you build a money-making personal brand with your knowledge and skills while staying mentally resilient. He's the author of the Mastery Den newsletter, which helps people triple their productivity.
