People Who Constantly Forget Names Tend To Use 7 Clever Phrases To Cover It Up
Roman Samborskyi | Shutterstock Feeling seen is a basic human desire that lives at the heart of our social connections.
So, when we forget someone's name, it can have powerful effects in the worst ways. According to a 2019 study, forgetting someone's name can make that person feel invisible, which is why people who constantly forget names tend to use clever phrases to try and cover it up.
Clever phrases people use to cover up forgetting your name
1. 'Hey, you'
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When someone uses your name in a conversation, you perceive them as more respectful and considerate. But when we forget someone's name and repeatedly have to ask for it, it can have the opposite effect.
"Hey, you" is a classic cover-up. Instead of using that person's name, they say anything to dance around not having to, even if it means using vague terms like "guy" or "you."
2. 'It's so great to see you'
Instead of saying "nice to meet you" and insinuating that it's the first time they've met, people who regularly forget names use "it's great to see you." They're covering their bases and making sure people feel special and seen, whether or not they've met before.
It's easy to demonize someone for their poor memory or not being able to remember a name. But if they're self-aware enough to use phrases like this, they're still protecting people's feelings.
3. 'I should grab your number'
If you can't ask again or don't have another person to introduce you to someone whose name you've forgotten, asking them for their number is a great tactic. They have to create a contact in your phone and put their name down, so you can cover up not remembering their name.
Using someone's name actively in a conversation is important to build trust. So, once they have the contact, they can make an effort to learn it, instead of losing it again in a sea of other phone contacts.
4. 'I remember our conversation about...'
We tend to remember more about what we shared in past conversations than what other people tell us. That's part of what makes recalling details about someone else so special. People feel truly important when someone can recall what we've shared with them.
So, even if you've forgotten someone's name, using a phrase like this can be an effective way to cover it up. Even if you do have to admit you don't know their name, starting with something like "I can't stop thinking about when you told me about..." can ease the blow.
5. 'Have you met my friend?'
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Facilitating an introduction with another friend or a partner can make it easier to deal with the discomfort that comes from asking a person their name.
Someone who's a chronic name-forgetter does it all the time, so much so that people probably think they're keen on connecting people together. Instead of saying "I forgot your name," they say "Have you met my friend?" and let them introduce themselves and say their name again.
6. 'Hey, my name is…'
If you've only met in passing or know someone from social media, offering your name first can be a great tactic to get them to reveal theirs. This only really works when you haven't already had a conversation or met them multiple times. If you have, they're going to feel bad that you don't remember them at all.
We want to feel seen and heard, which often means remembering someone's name. But phrases like this can help make it easier when you've completely blanked out.
7. 'Tell me more'
Hearing our own names actually engages parts of our brains associated with our identity and self-awareness. It's not surprising that hearing other people say it makes us feel special and unique in some way, even if we overlook its importance.
In similar ways, perceiving someone as an active listener can engage reward centers in our brains, making us feel valued. That's why someone who's forgotten your name will likely keep you talking and continue to ask questions to avoid having to address you.
They can make you feel seen in a different way, even if they can't use your name to do so.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
