Childfree Woman Begs Parents To Stop Bringing Their 'Barely Conscious Infants' To The Pumpkin Patch
"This being literally has no idea where it is, and you’re acting like the parent of the year for schlepping it into a field of overpriced gourds."
Nate Tschaenn | Shutterstock This fall season, a childless woman is urging parents to refrain from bringing their freshly born babies to pumpkin patches.
However, if they choose to still do so, she is begging them to at least not force their children into a gutted pumpkin for a photo op.
The child-free woman is requesting that parents please stop bringing their ‘barely conscious infants’ to pumpkin patches they will not remember.
Posting on the subreddit r/childfree, the woman said that during the fall season, her social media feed is flooded with photos from parents who bring their “barely conscious infants” to the pumpkin patch for a photo op on top of a mound of pumpkins.
“This being literally has no idea where it is and you’re acting like parent of the year for schlepping it into a field of overpriced gourds,” the woman wrote.
Alinute Silzeviciute | Shutterstock
She called for more cute dogs and less “wrinkly worms [expletive] their pants” at pumpkin patches ahead of future October weekends.
While the woman was obviously joking and went on an “exaggerated rant,” some Redditors believe that she made a valid point.
“People who bring infants on expensive trips do it for their own egos, not for the kid who probably won't remember the experience,” one user commented. “Ideally at 7 years or older, the kid can understand basic language and "It's not okay to do x, y, or z.’”
“Your potato head is like 3 months old. She ain't gonna remember ... Wait 'til the kid is like 7-8 years old,” another user wrote.
However, others saw no problem with parents bringing their children to public spaces that are advertised as family-friendly, such as a pumpkin patch.
“Pumpkin patches are family-oriented spaces, no? It’s an inexpensive way to take a nice seasonal photograph that lets them remember the general time their human baby was that size,” one Redditor commented.
“Pumpkin patches here are very kid friendly and have playgrounds and hayrides and such, all of which are free WITH the entrance fee,” another user wrote.
The babies may not remember, but their parents will never forget their little giggles as they rode their first hayride or when they saw a scarecrow for the first time.
Hrecheniuk Oleksii | Shutterstock
While getting babies out of the house to enjoy an autumn weekend day is never a bad idea, there are some important things parents should keep in mind before taking infants and young children to a pumpkin patch.
Parents should not take their newborns to a pumpkin patch that has a farm or petting zoo of any kind since farm animals may carry infections that are harmful to newborns.
It can also get hot outside when the sun is out, and parents should avoid keeping their newborns out for too long. They cannot regulate their body temperatures as well as we can and can easily become overheated.
It should go without saying, but parents should also ensure that they have enough snacks and juice boxes packed to avoid cranky kids and having to wait an hour and a half for a box of apple cider doughnuts.
Still, for many families with young children, pumpkin patches provide much more than just a photo op.
They offer a space where families can share candied apples, corn maze experiences, crunchy leaves, and lasting memories that will stick with them for all of the autumn seasons to come!
And on the drive home, while the children are passed out in the back seat, parents can share a sigh of relief and a pumpkin spice-flavored coffee.
Megan Quinn is a writer at YourTango who covers entertainment and news, self, love, and relationships.