Bride Refuses To Recite Two Specific Marriage Vows During Her Wedding Ceremony Because She Disagrees
SeventyFour | Shutterstock A bride is being applauded after she hilariously refused to recite specific vows that were part of the wedding ceremony. While the video was funny, tradition isn't a good enough reason to make any oath she fundamentally doesn't agree with.
Wedding videographers Amber and Rion captured an unplanned moment between a bride and groom as they recited their vows, which the officiant was reading aloud. During the bride's turn to recite her vows, she caused quite a stir among the guests after disagreeing with a traditional aspect of the ceremony.
The bride refused to recite two parts of the wedding vows during the ceremony.
In the short video clip, the bride was seen holding her groom's hands as the officiant read the vows to her. The bride had no problem repeating the traditional "for better, for worse, for richer" part, but refused to say the next line.
As the officiant recited the next line of the vows, "for poorer," the bride nodded her head but took an extra second to repeat it. The guests let out a few chuckles, including the groom, and while the bride smiled, it was clear she didn't quite believe it.
"We hit that snag about twenty times in counseling," the officiant joked, referring to the bride disagreeing with the "for poorer" part even before standing at the altar. "She made it very clear to [her husband] that you cannot be broke."
However, that wasn't the only part of the vows that the bride disagreed with. In a second video, the bride recited the usual "in sickness and in health. To love, [and] cherish," but as soon as the officiant said "to obey," the bride immediately stopped speaking.
She gave the officiant a look, which caused the audience and her husband to burst into laughter once more. "We didn't talk about that one in counseling," she lightheartedly pointed out to the officiant, clearly not on board with saying that part of her wedding vows.
"We did talk about that in counseling," he affirmed. "Yes, we did." When he asked the bride if he wanted her to repeat that line again or to keep going, she humorously told the officiant to keep going.
The lighthearted moment between the bride and groom highlighted some outdated traditional vows.
In many marriage vows, just as the one heard for this bride and groom, phrases such as "to love, honor, and obey" or "to obey and serve" imply a hierarchical structure, where the woman is expected to submit to her husband's authority, suggesting a power imbalance in the relationship.Â
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This concept of obedience can be seen as undermining a woman's autonomy and promoting a subservient role for her within the marriage. Traditional wedding vows also often emphasize the gendered roles and responsibilities placed on both the bride and groom. The vows may spotlight the groom's duties of being the provider, while the bride's role is solely being the caregiver.
It's also why many ceremonies have started omitting the outdated phrasing or even allowing brides and grooms to write their own vows.
The bride was praised for pushing back against ideas she doesn't believe in.
If the commitment of a wedding is to be taken seriously, that means that the bride and groom should both believe in the vows they make to each other. Nothing in that moment should be said out of obligation or tradition.Â
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"I asked the the obey part to be left out. [The] preacher looked at me [with confusion]. He is not my dad, he is my husband. GO GIRL!" one woman pointed out. Another added, "I've never liked that part in wedding vows 'obey,' like are we not both adults? I'm not treating the person I marry like they're my parents."
"Good for her! Our officiant wouldn’t even put [in] the 'obey' part [of] the vows and I loved that," another woman mentioned.
Tirzah Stein, an officiant and wedding coach, told The Knot, "None of the newlyweds I work with have requested adding the word 'obey' to their wedding ceremony. I always ask folks what they don't want in their ceremony, and I often hear that they don't want any language that indicates a power dynamic, one partner being submissive to the other, or overly gendered messaging and wording."
Societal attitudes and values are forever evolving, and nowadays many people recognize the need to revise traditional wedding vows so that they are far more inclusive and reflective of the values of both partners who are about to enter a lifelong commitment.Â
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor’s degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
