Bride Concerned About 'Red Flag' She Noticed In Her New Husband During The Speech He Delivered At Their Wedding
taras.chaban / Shutterstock What do you expect your husband to say if he wants to make a speech during your wedding? Probably flowery words about love and building a life together. For one bride, her husband's speech started out that way, but took a turn that left her convinced his joke at her expense was a "red flag."
Weddings are happy occasions, well, they’re supposed to be. Unfortunately, there are often cases in which something happens to make the wedding less than you hoped it would be. That’s certainly what happened to this particular bride whose husband didn't really think through his wedding speech before delivering it.
A groom gave a wedding speech that had a glaring ‘red flag.’
The anonymous bride asked for advice after what she felt was a strange speech at her wedding from her husband. “So, I recently got married to my husband,” she said. “He is a very sweet and kind person.”
Andrei Zveaghintev | Shutterstock
However, some things about the speech he gave at the wedding weren’t so sweet and kind. “He gave a speech during our wedding reception,” she explained. “It was really sweet and emotional, but then he said something like, ‘And when we were dating, I knew I have to marry you, as nobody can tolerate you better than me, and I love tolerating you.’”
While the comment might give some pause, the bride said that it went over well in the moment as a joke. “Everybody laughed and I did as well, as it was supposed to be a fun banter, and I didn’t think much of it,” she said.
She also explained that she can understand why her husband might feel that way. “Well, I do get giddy and too excited if I am happy and would talk a lot, while my husband is very calm and patient and always listens, but I can see that it could be annoying for others,” she stated.
Unfortunately, the bride has not been able to stop thinking about what her husband said in his speech. It’s so bad that she is still pondering it after their honeymoon.“We had a great time and recently came from our honeymoon, but just wondering, do other guys also joke about their spouse like that?” she asked.
Most people thought her husband's comment wasn't as worrisome as she thought.
People who commented on the bride’s post were split on their feelings about the speech. Some wondered if the groom was perhaps making a pop culture reference, as both "Friends" and "The Big Bang Theory" feature speeches with similar wording. “Maybe not the best time for your husband to make that comment, but hopefully the intent was good,” one person who pointed to "Friends" said.
Others noted that it may have simply been an awkward moment for the groom. “Unfortunately, some people are just awkward at public speaking events, too,” they said. “For some of them, their wedding is their first time giving speeches to a crowd.”
However, others weren’t so forgiving. “Ugh, I hate jokes like that,” someone said. “You see it all the time at weddings how men are becoming ‘trapped’ by marrying their wives … For some reason, these types of jokes always crop up, where men don’t like their wives, and I just find them disrespectful.”
The bride should tell her husband how she feels about the speech.
bbernard | Shutterstock
One thing everyone could agree on, regardless of their opinion on the speech, was that the bride should share her feelings with her husband. “I would mention to him that it made you uncomfortable, but I don’t think it’s worth fighting about,” one person said.
According to a clinically reviewed article from Marriage.com, it's important to “express your feelings clearly” and “talk to the other person in the relationship” when your feelings are hurt by your partner. “Remember, others might not even realize they hurt us,” the outlet noted. “However, creating a safe place for communication will help you understand each other better.”
It’s important to be honest about how something made you feel, so resentment doesn’t grow and fester over time. It’s also important to be mindful of your words and how they affect others. Hurting those who are closest to you is never a good thing.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
