Bride Plans 'Free Wedding' Where All The Guests 'Pitch In'
Realistically, it's only free for her.
AntonenkoS / Shutterstock Weddings are costly even for guests, but as a general rule, if you're attending a reception, the hosts will foot the bill for the event. That wasn't the case for one bride. Her friend turned to Reddit to vent that instead of paying for the reception she could afford, the bride was asking each guest to pitch in for what she was calling a "free wedding."
Yes, getting married is a huge expense. That's not news to anybody. It's especially true when you want a big party with food, drinks, decorations, and live music. But the wedding of your dreams might not be the wedding you can afford, and if you're suddenly asking your guests to foot the bill, it might be time to reevaluate why you're getting married in the first place.
A bride is planning a 'free wedding' where all the guests 'pitch in' to realize her dream day.
Pixel-Shot | Shutterstock
A friend of the bride, whom she called Coral, explained that the young woman announced her engagement and immediately started planning the event. "She said she's been seeing a lot of people on TikTok and Insta showing how to plan 'free' weddings," the friend wrote.
At first, the friend thought Coral just meant it would be a city hall wedding, but nope. Coral, instead, said she expects the guests to "pitch in" to make her dream event a reality. She wrote, "She's going to try and find someone with a large outdoor space to use (not formally a wedding venue) who will donate their area in support of 'love,' she's going to have all of her guests bring a potluck (with very specific assignments), she will have a friend officiate, a friend do photography, a friend do save the dates and invites, her family do the flowers, etc. Including some harder-to-swing (imo) things like getting a large tent, decorations, wedding favors, speakers, band, etc. I'm not sure what her plan was for a dress."
The biggest sticking point about the free wedding is that the couple isn't hurting for money.
Asking for help from your nearest and dearest isn't the problem in this scenario. It's that the "free" part of a free wedding for this couple means free for them, but not for anyone else.
What made the friend complaining on Reddit more upset is that Coral and her fiancé are doing well financially. The groom-to-be's family is also quite well off. She argued that it feels like Coral is doing all of this just "for the sake of it." She added, "she is just shifting all of the costs onto other people (some of whom are probably less well off)."
"She told me that she wants me to make the cake," the friend wrote. It wasn’t just any party cake. It was a multi-tier cake with fondant flowers and gold leaf. "I just like to bake cookies and brownies sometimes," the friend said. Adding, "I told her that those cakes would probably take me days to make, and they wouldn't come out anywhere near as good. She kind of laughed that off and said, 'Oh, it’s not about it being perfect, it’s just about everyone pitching in. It’ll be fun!'"
Instead of just going along with this absurd plan, the friend basically told her it was unfair to have guests spend their time, money, and labor just so she could have a "free" wedding. "I said that if she wants a free wedding," the friend wrote, "she should probably just elope or go to city hall, because this isn't free, it's just free for her."
Unsurprisingly, that dose of truth didn't exactly go over well. Coral became upset, left, and later told the friend not to worry about the cake. The friend now feels bad, insisting that Coral is a really nice person, who's just sometimes a bit naive.
The first rule of wedding planning is: Only plan the event you can afford.
If you have your heart set on a royal wedding but are on a backyard BBQ budget, guess which wedding you get? You don't get to ask your guests to foot the bill for you. You are inviting them to celebrate, not the other way around.
According to a study by The Knot, the national average cost of a wedding is approximately $33,000. That money has to come out of someone's bank account, whether it's the couple's, the couple's family, or even worse, the guests'.
In an interview with The Kit, money expert Jessica Moorhouse explained, “If you can’t have it all — let’s be honest, most of us can’t — then changing your expectations is a better option than going into debt to have the wedding of your dreams." She went on to say, “Remember, a wedding is one day. The marriage that the wedding is celebrating is for a lifetime. Focus on what’s important and consider how you can make your day just as special without all the bells, whistles, and hefty price tags."
Did you hear that, Coral? It's time to scale back because chances are, all those guests who you think are going to "pitch in" for your "free wedding" are going to bail when they realize just how much you expect from everyone.
You can absolutely have an amazing party on a shoestring budget if you plan it properly and lower your expectations a bit. The friend who wrote the Reddit post would have likely been happy to make cupcakes and cookies for your wedding, but you wanted an actual wedding cake. It's all about perspective. There's nothing wrong with asking your loved ones for help, but putting people out so you benefit without any sacrifice, well, that's an immediate RSVP no.
Matt Machado is a writer studying journalism at the University of Central Florida. He covers relationships, psychology, celebrities, pop culture, and human interest topics.
