Boss Shames His Male Employee For Taking Paternity Leave Even Though It’s Part Of His Company Benefits
The employee tried to explain that he wanted to stay home with his partner and bond with his baby, but his boss was confused about the request.
Dusan Petkovic / Shutterstock A boss is being criticized after finding it odd that one of his male employees wanted to take a parental leave to care for his new baby.
In a TikTok video, a content creator named Chris Donnelly read out an anonymous exchange between a boss and an employee in which the boss was less than accommodating after being told their employee was going to be taking some time off to help his partner out with their new baby.
He shamed his male employee for taking paternity leave despite it being part of his company benefits.
"This boss is shaming their employee for taking parental leave because they're a man," Donnelly prefaced in his video.
In the message that the employee sent to their boss, the worker excitedly explained that he and his partner are expecting their baby within the next six months and agreed to do shared parental leave. The employee wanted to let his boss know in advance of his plan so that they could work together and schedule the months off that he would need to care for his new baby and help his partner out.
However, in response, the man's boss was extremely unhelpful and claimed that it was weird he was taking parental leave at all as a man.
"Paternity leave? Are you sure you need that? Shouldn't she be taking maternity leave?" the man's boss responded. The employee didn't let his boss' blunt message deter him, writing back that his wife was taking leave as well but he wanted to join her because she would need support and he wanted the time to bond with his baby for those first few months since they're crucial in building a relationship.
His boss doubled down, saying that "traditionally" the father works while the mother stays at home and cares for the newborn. "Plus, I don't want taking extended time off to hurt your career, you're a key player on the team," his boss continued.
The employee appreciated the sentiment, though it's an extremely manipulative thing to say, and acknowledged that his family was more important. Additionally, paternity leave was included in their company's policy, so he was already entitled to the time off.
After reading the last of the messages, Connelly was flabbergasted that a boss would have this attitude toward an employee politely asking to have some time off. He pointed out that this boss seems extremely "old-fashioned" with his views on parenthood, and that if any boss has this type of mindset, they tend to be less accommodating for other issues down the line, including having a sick child and needing time off to care for them or other family obligations/complications.
Fewer men take paternity leave compared to women who take maternity leave.
According to research from Ball State sociology professor Richard Petts, via USA Today, only 5% of new dads take at least two weeks of parental leave. Paternity leave is also an outlier in the United States — one of the only developed countries who don't have a federal law mandating paid leave for parents.
It depends on the employer on how much paid leave they want to give an employee who is expecting a baby. About 7 in 10 Fortune 500 companies offer some sort of paid leave for new parents, but fathers are generally considered secondary to mothers.
There's also a cultural perception surrounding men taking time off to be at home with their families, as shown by the boss' response. Fathers are expected to be the financial providers of the household and are often seen as being less committed to their jobs if they want to take paternity leave.
Despite the stigma, about 7 in 10 people say dads should get paid parental leave, compared with 8 in 10 who said the same for mothers, according to Pew Research. If companies want to keep their employees satisfied in the work environment, there needs to be more inclusive and supportive policies in place.
Nia Tipton is a Chicago-based entertainment, news, and lifestyle writer whose work delves into modern-day issues and experiences.