5 Behaviors Millennials Think Are Harmless But Other Generations Say Are Really Annoying
MariaDubova | Canva Millennials think these behaviors are fine, but other generations (we know who you are, insert emoji eyes) apparently find them irritating.
Of course, every generation has its own challenges to overcome. Like other generations, Millennials have been through it. Recessions, housing, late-stage everything, the slow collapse of institutions, the weird experience of being told we were special while being treated like disappointments. I get it.
But at some point, we turned the language of healing into a social weapon. We turned boundaries into a shark-infested moat and every minor relational discomfort into a diagnosis.
Here are 5 behaviors millennials think are harmless but other generations say are actually really annoying:
1. Going no-contact with your parents
There’s a version of parental “no contact” that’s necessary and life-saving, and then there’s the version that looks like a breakup with your mother because she said something mildly annoying at brunch in 2025.
“My mom asked me to explain my job again, and I felt invalidated. When is this 73-year-old woman going to finally learn what an AI prompt agent is?”
Relationships do not get repaired by exile and putting the people from your childhood on mute. But tell that to the thousands of videos online of Millennials preaching no contact of some slight from 2007, garnering millions of views.
2. Using weaponized therapy speak
Karolina Grabowska www.kaboompics.com / Pexels
This one drives me nuts, and it has been used against me, to help me, but also insult me, and also educate me, so perhaps I am biased. But I have seen it a lot among my peers. Therapy can be great. Therapy can save lives. Therapy can help you stop repeating the same patterns like a broken Roomba.
But millennials have discovered a more lucrative use: therapy language as a way to win arguments without having them and make the other person (me) look emotionally unstable, all because I don’t know the buzzwords from some $500 an hour therapy session. Every disagreement becomes a diagnosis:
- “That’s my boundary.” (translation: I don’t want to be questioned.)
- “I feel unsafe.” (translation: I’m uncomfortable.)
- “You’re gaslighting me.” (translation: you remember it differently.)
- “You’re violating my nervous system.” (translation: you’re being annoying. I may report you to the internet.)
- “That’s emotional labor.” (translation: you asked me a basic human question.)
The vocabulary of healing is beautiful, messy, repetitive, and jarringly deep in the most spiritual of ways. But now it feels like a corporate HR email between childhood friends.
We don’t apologize; we “name impact.” We don’t say “I overreacted”; we say “I’m honoring my inner child.” Mate, your inner child was a jerk.
Therapy is meant to be used to heal, connect, and gently guide us back into the very situations we once found difficult. It is not some sword you use to behead everyone who disagrees with you.
3. Fake-futuring
Millennials have mastered a special form of cruelty: the beautiful, poetic promise of a future they never intend to deliver. Not because they’re evil. Because they’re anxious, avoidant, indecisive, and addicted to the dopamine of potential. They talk in “someday” language:
- “When we move in…”
- “When we have kids…”
- “When we travel…”
- “When I get through this busy period…” (this busy period lasts 11 years)
Fake-futuring is the romantic equivalent of opening 47 browser tabs and then acting shocked when your laptop glitches. There’s nothing wrong with planning or even being overly ambitious, but when it is used to keep someone else in a stagnant relationship, it becomes toxic.
They don’t want to break up, because breakups feel like failure. It’s another faux boundary to prevent others from seeing their own mistakes and a way of avoiding lost time by buying up more lost time. Cupid’s stock market for the darned.
4. Turning parent-blame into a lifestyle brand
Keira Burton / Pexels
Look, unless your parents did something abhorrent — physically beat you, abuse, the list could go on — then I’m sorry, you need to stop. Your parents probably messed you up. So did mine. All parents do. That’s the deal. Parenting is just making a person using your own unhealed parts as raw material.
But millennials have taken this basic human truth and turned it into an identity: I Am The Result Of My Parents. Nothing is my fault; everything is my origin story. Buddy, you’re not Batman.
At a certain point, you either metabolize your upbringing or you use it as a forever explanation for why you don’t have to change. Some millennials don’t actually want liberation. They want an excuse not even try.
They want to say: “I can’t be expected to handle conflict. My father once frowned in 2004.”
Okay. But you’re 37. You pay taxes. At some stage, you have to stop treating your parents like the authors of your entire personality and start treating them like flawed people who did a job badly, but not always maliciously.
Unless they locked you under the stairs or did something genuinely terrible and illegal, please get over it. You don’t need to be their buddies, but you also don’t need to be stagnant in a memory only you remember.
5. Soft-ghosting (AKA 'I’m not ignoring you, I’m just … morally busy')
This is the millennial signature move: ghosting without the guilt. Have I done it? Meh, not really. I prefer the Irish Goodbye approach: cut ties and move on. Healthier for both parties. A clean amputation. No group chat. Just poof.
Have I seen millennials do this to others? Yes. Have I been on the other end of this? I suspect so.
I used to think it was just part of getting older. You know, people are just being busy. I’d text old friends and not hear back for weeks. Being the naïve fella I am, I’d assume: “Ah, sure, they’re busy.” Then, after a while: “Right. They don’t want to talk. Fair enough.”
Then, bang, a message three months later: "Hope you’re well, bud. How’s the family?”
And because I’m a jovial idiot, I reply within the hour: “Great! Saw you started a new business, congrats. How’s San Fran?”
Then nothing. And I’m sitting there like, I know how phones work. I know Messenger. I know that even if you don’t open it, you can still see the preview. You saw it. You chose not to answer.
So why send the late sympathy text in the first place? Why tap in for one second, just to vanish again? WHY?? Because it’s not communication. It’s not friendship. It’s a dirty reputation rinse.
They don’t ghost fully because full ghosting is messy. It makes them look like the villain. It gives you closure. It forces a consequence.
So instead, they do this tidy little maneuver: reply once every few weeks so the file stays open. Enough to maintain the public identity of being a good person who totally cares, just … you know … life.
I honestly believe that some millennial friends will only reply properly if there’s something in it for them. If not, they keep you on hold until the day you might be useful. If you call it out, you look insane and bitter.
“What? I did reply.” Yeah. Three months later, Todd. Then what happens? I finally go old school and ghost them back out of self-respect—pull the band-aid off, finish the job. And suddenly I’m the bad guy.
“Oh, PW never stays in contact. I replied to him and then nothing.” Replied? You didn’t come back; you dropped a breadcrumb so you could say you didn’t abandon me.
They don’t want you. They want to be seen as the type of person who would want you, if life weren’t so … life-y.
Ugh, this got personal fast. But yeah, go away, Todd.
Peter William Murphy is a writer, teacher, musician, and content creator. He has published over 250 articles on Medium and has been selected for curation on 26 occasions. His work explores society, culture, politics, and mental health.
