Adults Who Don’t Actually Feel Like Adults Yet Usually Have These 7 Reasons
Growing up is overrated.
Kateryna Mostova | Shutterstock According to a study commissioned by life insurance company Beagle Street and published in The Independent, the average age at which a British person feels like an adult is 29. That's eight extra years of youth by American standards. However, becoming an adult isn't necessarily marked by how old you are. Everyone has a different path through life, and some may start feeling like an adult sooner than others.
"Youthfulness" is often mislabeled as "immaturity." When I was younger, it wasn't that I had some secret for not aging; I just didn't act like a responsible adult, so I had the illusion of youth. At some point, I had to grow up, but that doesn't mean I actually felt like an adult.
Matthew Gledhill, managing director of Beagle Street, said, "Growing up is less about years and more about reaching milestones. With each of these life events, there is a need to take responsibility and a need to become an adult, as you have people depending on you to do so."
Adults who don't actually feel like adults usually have these 7 reasons:
1. They still live with their parents
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What's the number one way people begin to feel like adults? Homeownership. It's easy to continue feeling like a teen when you're still living with your parents and depending on them for help financially.
Unfortunately, a discouraging real estate market might mean that adults are becoming first-time homeowners much later on in life. In 2024, the National Association of Realtors’ 2024 Profile of Home Buyers and Sellers reported that the average age of first-time homeowners was 38. A low inventory of properties and rising costs are making it increasingly difficult for adults to comfortably afford a home of their own.
2. They don't have kids
There's nothing that will force you to grow up quicker than having a child. You're now entirely responsible for the life of another person, and in many cases, their needs must come before your own. Parenthood is a huge life milestone that also carries the weight of cultural expectations.
Having kids is a big decision, and one that shouldn't be taken lightly. Studies are finding that fewer adults are choosing to have kids, likely because it's becoming more socially acceptable than it used to be. Some find it unfeasible in the current economy, and others are realizing that they just genuinely don't want to care for another human being.
3. They're not married
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Getting married is another cultural milestone that can often signify entry into adulthood. Marriage can sometimes be portrayed as a loss of freedom, hence the old term "ball and chain." This might cause some young adults to hold off on making the commitment until they begin to feel like adults in other aspects of their lives, such as in their careers.
While some decide to get married right out of the gate, others wait a bit longer to find the right person or until they're financially prepared. Like buying a house, the average age of adults taking this step is also increasing. According to the United States Census Bureau, the median age for a first marriage in 2025 is 30.2 for men and 28.6 for women. In the modern day, many are choosing to enjoy dating in their 20s, which is possibly contributing to the delay in feeling like an adult.
4. They don't have a pension and/or retirement plan
Thinking about retirement is some pretty far-ahead thinking for young adults, and often a foreign concept until they get a job with benefits. Retirement is still decades away, so why bother making it a problem now? In reality, it can sneak up a lot faster than you'd think.
The sooner you make a retirement plan and start contributing to it, the more money you'll have to spend when you actually do retire. It can make a big difference to start putting money away in your 20s versus in your 30s, and your future self will thank you.
5. They don't get to control how they decorate their space
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If you live with your parents, chances are you're still sleeping in your childhood bedroom. Maybe you're stuck with the purple walls you begged your parents for, or the butterfly comforter you got for your 8th birthday. No surprise, living in the same space you did growing up can make you feel like you're still a kid.
Even if you took the step and moved out, many rental properties don't allow you to make major changes. You must fully surrender to the rules of the apartment complex or the HOA. You'll have to wait until you own a home to finally get the beige walls of your dreams.
6. They don't have life insurance
Young adults are invincible. Or, at least, they think they are. Getting a life insurance plan seems like something that should happen far down the road, but there are actually several advantages to securing a plan early on.
Bankrate explains that a life insurance plan can give a sense of peace and security to your loved ones. Additionally, you may be able to lock in a lower rate if you invest in a plan at a young age. Premiums can go up as you get older and develop health issues, so it might be worth it to put in the effort now.
7. They still enjoy going out
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Adults love being in bed by 9 p.m. sharp. There's nothing wrong with wanting to go out and get your party on, but sticking to the same social environments (bars, clubs, etc.) could be keeping you feeling stuck in your younger years, too.
As people age, they find themselves drawn more to calmer activities like reading, crafting, or playing games. Often labeled as "grandma hobbies," adults can enjoy these pastimes without ever having to leave the comfort of their home. After a long, exhausting day at work, literally nothing sounds better than taking a bath and starting a new knitting project.
Christine Schoenwald is a writer, performer, and frequent contributor to YourTango. She's had articles featured in The Los Angeles Times, Salon, Bustle, Medium, Huffington Post, Business Insider, and Woman's Day, among many others.
