20 Tiny, Meaningful Ways To Feel Happier Next Year, According To Experts
Luka Malic | Unsplash Happiness sneaks in through the small stuff: The tiny shifts in how you start your morning, how you talk to yourself, or how you work through a hard day. You don't need a complete life do-over to feel better.
Sometimes the smallest changes make the biggest difference. And according to psychologists, therapists, and wellness experts, all of whom we spoke to, these micro-adjustments can add up to something that actually sticks: long-term happiness.
Here are 20 tiny, meaningful ways to feel happier next year, according to experts:
1. Be honest with yourself
"To live a life that aligns with your true self, you must be honest about who you are. Take a look in the mirror and figure out who that reflection represents."
—Karen Vaughn, licensed professional counselor
2. Don't neglect self-care
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"I like to think of our true self as this little person at the center of our being — what I call our “circle of one” — who represents the best of who we are. They're always there to support, encourage, and lovingly nudge us to listen deeply to that inner voice. And the best way to do that is to give ourselves time and space and silence to hear its wisdom, and to always practice extreme self-care on every level: Mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually."
—Deborah Roth, relationship coach and the founder of Spiritual Living
3. Decide the life you want to live
"If you want to be happy, you need to clarify your vision for the life and love you want … and don’t settle for less. First, identify impeding beliefs that are not aligned with your true self like “I’m not good enough,” and get help to shift them so you’re feeling fabulous and deserving. Learn how to live your life deliberately, stay aligned with your vision and core values, and you can confidently create a life you love with the love of your life!"
—Dr. Wendy Lyon, psychologist and relationship coach
4. Don't let fear stop you
"It can be frightening to fully express your unique self, but if you locate several inspiring role models whose courage to defy convention and step fully into their brilliance changed the world. When you feel fear, you can remember their shining example, take a deep breath, and go forward on your path.
Others may criticize, but remember their judgments are evidence of their own fear and all the ways they have failed to step fully into their gifts. You can do this because quite simply, you were born for it!"
—Veronica Monet, relationship coach
5. Find the truest version of yourself
"Recognize that alignment with your true, most expanded self is your natural state of being, and you are the only one who can choose to deviate from it. Deliberately direct the power of your focus to appreciate every positive aspect of yourself and of this life experience, and you’ll attract to you the very best that life has to offer."
—Christy Whitman, energy healer and life management specialist
6. Meditate to reach peace
"Learning how to meditate regularly — twice a day if you can — brings a steadiness and relaxation of mind. Meditation helps you to connect with the deepest part of yourself, and from this stillness of being, you can then move out into the world. This practice will help you to stay in alignment with your true self."
—Maetreyii Ma Nolan, psychologist
7. Live a life based on values
"To live a life that is aligned with your true self is to live a life that is based on your values, on things that are important for you to have in your life, rather than on your emotions and your reactions to your emotions. Take an inventory of what is important to you and use it to guide your decisions and your behaviors. Do you want physical health, unconditional love, mental health, compassion, adventure, fun, meaningful work, service to others, or passion? Take a good look at what is important to you and move forward …"
—Mitzi Bockmann, life coach
8. Choose courage over comfort
"Being true to our values and personal ethics ensures alignment with the person we wish to become. Doing so often means choosing courage over comfort, finding our own path rather than following others, and having empathy for ourselves and others. Showing kindness to others is an act of love, and in doing so, we overcome fear, become kinder to ourselves, and become happier."
—Tracey Grove, leadership coach and the founder of Pure Symmetry
9. Don't make choices that don't feel right
"Getting grounded in your core life values and using them as a checkpoint for every choice and decision will keep you aligned with your true self. Honoring your values will allow you to move through life’s ebbs and flows with more ease. When your thoughts and actions compromise your values, things just don’t feel right — because you’re not living in integrity with what you value most."
—María Tomás Keegan, life and career Coach
10. Embrace your precious traits
"Make a list, starting from childhood, of your most precious traits: Your talents, your strengths, your untapped potential. Pick one to further develop. Envision yourself with your special trait fully developed. Enjoy yourself. After all, everyone else is taken."
—Barbara Becker Holstein, psychologist and the originator of The Enchanted Self
11. Find your passion
"What is your passion? Once you discover it, follow that. Be as present and mindful as possible. When you are present, your intuition is loud and clear. Finally, don’t be concerned with what others think about you or what you do. Keep your mind and heart focused on the inner voice inside, be present, have gratitude, and follow your passion, and you cannot go wrong."
—Lori Beth Bisbey, intimacy coach and psychologist
12. Don't stand in your own way
"Get out of your own way! So many of us live in fear of what others think, shame about who we are, or regret the past. To live aligned with our true selves, we need to steer clear of 'compare and despair' and come back to who we are and why we're here. Nobody can do what you can do or be who you are, so live proudly."
—Dan Drake, licensed marriage and family therapist
13. Let go of the pain of your past
"Our best advice to live a life that's aligned with your true self is to show up as love in every interaction, even when you're tempted not to. Surrender all your stories of a painful past and the possibilities of the future to the truth and beauty of the present moment. And stop, slow down, be still, and allow the deep inner wisdom that's always within you to guide your life."
—Susie & Otto Collins, relationship coaches
14. Pay attention to your own feelings
"Use the wisdom of your body! Imagine your true self living your best life, and as you see it in your mind's eye, feel what happens in your body — sensations, emotions, posture, etc. Now do one thing that evokes those same sensations, emotions, posture, etc. Feel the difference!"
—Rhonda Kelloway, psychologist
15. Grow more powerful by facing your fear
"Face your fear to grow into your powerful, true self! Your fear will help you uncover what you truly desire. Then you can push your fear aside, jump off the cliff, and fly!"
—Dr. Diana Kirschner, love mentor and dating coach
16. Don't forget to have fun
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"It's important to slow down. Our true self is best recognized in quiet moments. In fact, our true self is best distinguished by recognizing when we are not operating from it. For example, when we're reacting, in an emotional trigger, taking action from a wounded child state, we are not aligned with our true nature.
Our true nature is wholeness and completeness, not the protective, safety patterning we created when we were young to survive a situation. So perhaps said even more simply, our true self is never operating from a place of imagined fear. It's operating from a place of love, potential, creation, and play — creating because it's fun, not creating because we're so afraid of the lack that feels intolerable in front of us.
The true self resides in our hearts, not in our heads. Our heads are great at protecting us with logic, explanation, justification, and rationalization. Our hearts simply move us beyond reason. When we take time to feel into our hearts and develop a deeper, more connected relationship with it, we're better able to live in alignment with what ultimately makes us happy."
—Clayton Olson, relationship coach
17. Listen to your inner wisdom
"Small callings tell us what to do. Great callings tell us what to be. Inside each of us, there is infinite wisdom about who we are and why we’re here. Get still and listen to your inner wisdom and then flow around the obstacles like a river around rocks."
—Mary Kay Cocharo, counselor and therapist
18. Put intention into everything you do
"Bring awareness and curiosity to the intentions behind all of your actions. Ask yourself often, "Are my actions coming from love and inspiration or fear and obligation?" Practice self-compassion and self-forgiveness, and choose your future actions accordingly."
—Marisa Molina, life coach and behavioral scientist
19. Remember: It's a balancing act, but still worth it
"Keeping your life aligned with your true self is a balancing act. Follow your heart, but let your mind weigh in as well. Do things that bring you joy, but find ways to manage the unpleasant tasks that lead to the joyful ones. Persevere. Don’t give up on your aspirations, but make adjustments when needed. Stay true to your values, or you may go off course.
Include people in your life who are not afraid to offer constructive criticism, but will support your decisions even if they disagree. Reassess from time to time to see how you are doing balancing the alignment of your life with your true self."
—Barbara Lavi, licensed clinical psychologist
20. Never stray from your belief system
"Getting to know who your creator is ... whatever your religion or faith beliefs, how you came to be, exist, and have meaning is important to understanding yourself. Beyond that, figure out the things you like, what you want out of life, your values, and what motivates you. Live into your strengths and cultivate your weaknesses. Be authentic, don't pretend to be anyone that you're not, and pursue what matters most to you!"
—Amy Sargent, licensed marriage and family therapist
Merethe Najjar is a professional writer, editor, and award-winning fiction author. Her articles have been featured in The Aviator Magazine, Infinite Press, Yahoo, BRIDES, and more.
