Kids Raised In Overly Strict Religious Homes Often Have 8 Habits To Unlearn As Adults
Rawpixel.com | Shutterstock People raised in homes that lived and breathed for their faith likely had strict rules that were part of their religion and their family structure. This strictness created habits that are hard to shake in adulthood.
Having many rules to follow can shape a kid's personality. They may not feel good enough unless they are pleasing the adults in their lives. They may even be scared of feelings and emotions that are a natural part of growing up but go against their religious moral foundation.
8 habits people raised in overly strict religious homes might have to unlearn as adults:
1. People-pleasing to keep the peace
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Some religions ask people to put others, including their deity, ahead of themselves. They encourage servitude, which can be positive. People who always consider others are easy to be friends with. However, this can have devastating effects on their mental health. They can only do so much for others. Neglecting themselves often leads to burnout.
People-pleasers ignore their own feelings for others. They want to make everyone happy, often at a cost to themselves. Living this way is exhausting, but many religions preach this value, which becomes ingrained in their minds.
2. Suppressing their actual emotions
A study found a connection between religion and emotional regulation. Some people think they can’t show their true feelings because their spiritual beliefs forbid it. Ordinary emotions like anger, frustration, sadness, and doubt can be a sign of religious questioning. Trusting in a deity can only take someone so far. Processing their emotions is necessary, but it's hard to do when some religions forbid it.
Suppressing emotions can cause inner turmoil. Once they grow up and move out, this habit follows them. They were taught these values for so long and can get caught up in them for the rest of their lives.
3. Avoiding controversial topics not to ruffle any feathers
Growing up, I was taught to never talk about religion or politics. Whether it was with strangers or close friends and family. Of course, I broke that rule a few too many times. I didn’t grow up religious, but I knew it was the best way to avoid disagreements and arguments.
Religious beliefs can make people feel strongly about and have specific opinions on controversial topics. Instead of sharing them, they might keep them to themselves.
Talking about religion is often seen as taboo. While many people follow one religion, differing opinions can make it hard to address. Rather than starting a discussion, they’d rather dance around subjects to keep everyone happy.
4. Feeling guilty when they rest
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Religion often teaches people to be selfless. They are encouraged to do everything they can for others. These religions often rely on people ditching their egos and needs to serve other people. While this is a kind way to live, it isn’t always the right move. This can cause guilt when they put themselves first.
Taking care of yourself is not a sin. We need to take time to rest. We can only help others if we have the energy to. Even if someone strays away from religion during adulthood, they likely need to unlearn this habit and embrace doing nothing.
5. Lacking trust in themselves
Relying on a deity for strength and guidance can ease anxiety. They don't control their lives; someone else does. This can be comforting. As someone who suffers from anxiety, I love the idea of letting it go because the outcome is in someone else’s hands. I understand how people can get caught up in this ideology. However, trusting in something or someone else can hinder self-trust.
Before, their inner monologue didn’t matter. As they grow older, they need to learn how to shake this habit. Making their own decisions matters, and they need to learn to do so with confidence. Growing up, silencing their feelings and putting faith in something else isn’t easy to move forward from.
6. Hiding their opinions
Some people change their minds about religion or beliefs. This is totally normal. As we learn more, we can’t expect ourselves to stay the same. But this gets tricky when everyone in their lives follows that religion. Instead of being honest, they might stifle their feelings to please others.
Religion is an integral part of society. When someone’s faith falters, they can face serious judgment. A study found that nearly one-third of people who doubt their beliefs keep their opinion to themselves. They don’t want to be an outcast. Even in adulthood, they may stifle their true feelings to keep everyone else around them happy.
7. Worrying about being accepted
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While many religions preach acceptance, it’s not always the case. People who think outside the box are wrong or bad. This is common outside of religion, too.
We are all set in our ways, and changing our opinions isn’t easy. This can be especially difficult when everyone we love shares the same narrow viewpoint. Instead of being proud of who they are, some people might choose to hide parts of themselves to fit in.
Religious prejudice may be caused by a need to protect themselves from things they view as threats. They want to defend their worldview from possible changes. While some people act this way to avoid change, it can cause more harm than good for others.
8. Believing love is only earned through good behavior
Most religions teach that to be accepted by their deity, they have to follow a long list of rules. While these rules can be thoughtful and good, they come with a price. Some people who were raised in strict religious households believe they earn love through their actions. Nothing is unconditional.
This person may constantly seek approval to feel valued. This causes a vicious cycle of hurt. Learning that people care even if you don’t hit every mark is hard to learn when earned love has been ingrained for so long.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
