Someone Who Secretly Wants You To Fail Usually Tells You With 5 Very Specific Behaviors

Written on Nov 13, 2026

Very Specific Behaviors Of Someone Who Secretly Wants You To Fail TheVisualsYouNeed / Shutterstock
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Have you ever wondered whether a friend or co-worker didn’t want the best for you? You may have noticed they have an odd reaction when you tell them about something good happening to you or try to outshine you around other people. It could also just be a feeling you have with no real evidence to support it, but there are a few signs you should look out for.

If someone out there secretly wants you to fail, they will usually tell you that through these specific behaviors

1. Giving you backhanded compliments

woman giving backhanded compliments Aflo Images via Canva

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You might not even notice it at first because it’s so subtle. It could be a comment slipped into a conversation you’re having with them. You might tell them about a nice outfit you’ve recently bought, and they may comment on how you’ve finally developed a sense of style.

Backhanded compliments are a way for someone to slyly insult you, and then be able to deny it if they are called out. They may brush it off as wording it badly or say they were just joking with you. By using a backhanded compliment, they are trying to hurt you in a way they may easily get away with.

RELATED: 10 Subtle 'Tells' That A Person In Your Life Has Bad Intentions

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2. Making hurtful jokes

Someone who secretly wants you to fail may make jokes or comments about you, using information they know about you. They may say it in front of you and others as a way to make you feel bad about yourself.

If you call them out, they may tell you it’s a joke or say that you're being too sensitive. Sure, you can joke around with your friends, but they shouldn’t make jokes at your expense to embarrass you.

RELATED: People Who Are Secretly Jealous Casually Drop These 11 Subtle Clues In Conversation

3. Downplaying your wins

man downplaying his friend's accomplishments pixelfit from Getty Images Signature via Canva

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When you're doing well and succeeding, people who care about you will be there to cheer you on. However, someone who doesn’t want you to be successful may not be so happy for you.

When something is going well for you, they may try to ruin it for you by dismissing it and trying to paint it as insignificant. They may feel jealous and insecure about your accomplishments and want to bring you down with them.

4. Repeatedly talking about your past

As we grow in age, we tend to change and become different people. The person you were at 19 is probably not the same person you are at 25.

If you continue to become a better person as you go through life, someone who is trying to sabotage you may repeatedly bring up your past. They may mention things you did or said and might even try to shame you for your past. The more you develop as a person, the more they become intimidated by you.

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5. Doing their best to prevent you from progressing

woman trying to prevent her friend from progressing Cynthia Designs via Canva

Someone who secretly wants you to fail may try to stop you from making decisions that could benefit you. They may express doubt about a new opportunity to move up in your career or keep telling you to be realistic when coming up with a new goal for yourself.

It’s normal for loved ones to express their concern or worry about a decision you may make. But if someone is always speaking negatively about something that could possibly benefit your life, they may be trying to undermine your progress and stop you from doing better than them.

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RELATED: You'll Feel It In Your Gut — 25 Subtle Signs Someone Secretly Can't Stand You

Aricka Croxton is a writer with a Bachelor’s Degree in Creative Writing from the University of Michigan who covers relationships, self-help, and wellness.

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