People Who Talk Tough Because They've Been Seriously Hurt Are Usually Covering Up 8 Genuinely Sweet Traits
Anelo | Shutterstock People who talk tough may seem mean or standoffish, but there's often more to them than meets the eye. Often they've been let down repeatedly or experienced some pain in the past, so they close up to protect themselves.
However, the closer you get, the more you notice these sweet traits. Once they feel safe enough to let their guard down, you'll see a kind and strong side you never thought possible.
People who talk tough because they've been hurt are often covering up these sweet traits:
1. They're fiercely loyal to the people they love
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In an individualistic society like ours, it's hard to find someone willing to really show up for you. But tough people who've been hurt take the cake, as they are the most loyal people you'll ever meet. Do they have avoidant issues? Yeah, sure, but that doesn't take away from their sweetness.
They know they gotta work on their communication skills. How someone talks can make or break every area of their life. But if someone is looking for a loyal partner or friend, they are your person. If you can look past the tough exterior, they are the most loyal people you'll ever meet.
2. They notice when someone feels left out
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Everyone's been in that awkward position before where you feel like the odd person out.
You try to socialize and make new friends, but once you're in a group, you're pretty much exiled. It's hurtful and embarrassing, but tough-talkers speak up. Because they notice when someone feels left out, they do their best to correct it.
They're highly observant. Blame it on their trauma, but their hyper-vigilance won't leave them be. That's why tough people make the best partners, coworkers, or friends. They don't just cater to your needs. They stick up for you when you don't feel heard.
3. They're protective of the people they care about
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The people who are sweet but talk tough in public won't let you get pushed around. They know what it feels like to be vulnerable and unheard.
As adults, you'll find that tough people who've been hurt protect the people they care about. It's intense, but they'll absolutely crash out if they care.
Instead of letting you handle it yourself, they become your biggest spokesperson. Even if it isn't necessary, they can't help themselves. They love hard, which is why they'd never allow anyone to hurt or disrespect you.
4. They have a soft spot for people who are struggling
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Tough people have been through it all. Heartbreak, job loss, and betrayal and all sorts of other experiences that taught them that talking tough helps them succeed and stay safer.
Now you get to see their mask break when they see someone who's struggling. They can handle pain, but they'd rather spare everyone else.
Tough talkers might look heartless, but they're highly empathetic. Tough people hate how soft it makes them; however, empathy is their unknown superpower, and it can be all of our secret tool, as it increases happiness and decreases stress. That's why tough people shouldn't be too hard on themselves. Their loving heart helps more than they think.
5. They remember the little things that matter to others
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Tough people look nonchalant, but they're often among the most considerate people you'll know. I
nstead of forgetting your birthday, they'll text you at 12:00 AM with the sweetest paragraph about how much you mean to them. At first, it might feel extra or a bit fake. How do they remember the little things that matter to others?
But because they've been hurt before, they go out of their way to cherish those around them. And this can be a huge surprise when you're used to them talking tough.
They never want someone to feel unimportant. They know rejection stings. That's why they're so considerate. They've been through the worst, so they give you their best.
6. They're more sensitive than they let on
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Tough talkers act hard as stone sometimes, but deep down inside they're sensitive. If someone surprises them with coffee, they tear up. And if a loved one tells them they love them? They'll kinda cry.
They don't mean to be extra, however, because of their past, they can't help but feel emotional when someone special cracks that tough exterior. Often, this is because of trauma in the past. Maybe they were in the military and experienced something negative while deployed, or maybe they simply had a tough childhood.
According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, "Traumatic events can create a high level of arousal—or feeling alert or 'on guard '—as well, which causes people to react strongly to sounds and sights around them."
That's why they need to seek professional help if that sensitivity gets out-of-hand. Their sensitive heart helps them care for others deeply, but it can bite them if they don't heal from their trauma.
If they feel good about their level of sensitivity, then it's a truly beautiful gift, and you're lucky to know one of these people.
7. They help people in need
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Tough-talking people who are secretly sensitive don't shrug off people's suffering. They care deeply for others and that's probably why they go out of their way to help those in need.
Now, did they need to spend an absurd amount of money to help a stranger? No, but tough people who've been through it have a tendency to want to do too much when someone's been hurt.
In their eyes, there's never too much. If it means making someone's life a tad easier, tough people aren't afraid to do whatever it takes.
8. They give without expecting anything in return
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Tough-talking people aren't the type to be cheap or absent in the lives of people they love. If they care, they'll give without expecting anything in return. Expensive bags, their energy- it's all yours for the taking.
Once a tough person has softened around you, you can expect to be spoiled endlessly. They don't mean to be showy, but they can't help themselves.
In all of their relationships, they give without batting an eye. But they don't do it just because. While they are loving and caring, tough people give because they're deeply afraid of the people they love leaving.
That's why they go above and beyond. The more they give, the less likely someone is to say goodbye.
Marielisa Reyes is a writer with a bachelor's degree in psychology who covers self-help, relationships, career, family, and astrology topics.
