People Who Are Slowly Losing Their Capacity For Love Usually Say 8 Phrases In Casual Conversation
BearFotos | Sutterstock Relationships can exist without romantic love for a while, but at some point at least one partner will realize they're probably not going to grow back together. At that point, it can feel nearly impossible to work for a future.
Losing trust, intimacy or shared appreciation can contribute to falling out of love, creating resentful people who are slowly losing their capacity to love. Growing away from each other happens subtly and slowly, but when someone gets there, a few phrases often give it away.
People who slowly lose their capacity for love say 8 phrases casually during conversations with their partner:
1. ‘Do whatever you want’
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Experts agree that the point of no return in a relationship isn’t necessarily a loss of romantic feelings or even trust. It’s disengagement. The moment that a couple doesn’t care about each other anymore, everything else tends to fall with the relationship.
“Do whatever you want” might sometimes feel subtle and passive, but in reality, it speaks to a greater loss of love. The kinds of people who are struggling to love another person may be able to work toward rebuilding, but if they don’t care at all, that’s nearly impossible to mend.
2. ‘I don’t believe that’
In order to have the capacity to truly love, we often need to feel somewhat safe and secure with someone. So, if we can’t trust what they’re telling us and feel deceived in every conversation, of course, we start losing the capacity to love and even feel safe. That’s why trust needs to lie at the heart of every close relationship we maintain.
Without it, the foundation of our relationship chips away. We stop feeling secure. We start taking on more anxiety and worry in the relationship. We may even chip away at our own self-worth, without a safe space to feel heard and chosen.
3. ‘I’m just gonna do it alone’
While alone time is part of what keeps a healthy relationship thriving, if the balance of quality time and solitude falls too heavily in one direction, it can create tension and unease. If someone’s losing their capacity to live, small signals like feeling relieved when they’re alone or actively avoiding alone time might be small warning signs.
They’d prefer to use excuses like “I’m just gonna do it alone” or “I need some space” to avoid conflict or hard conversations, rather than to feed their own identity and well-being to show up as the best version of themselves in the relationship.
4. ‘I’m not having this conversation’
The healthiest relationships often stem from open communication. Direct communication is a kindness, because nothing gets shoved under the rug and both partners have a chance to feel heard and seen. However, when someone’s losing the capacity to love, it’s usually because they don’t feel safe to communicate their feelings.
They’re avoiding hard conversations, not putting in any effort to resolve conflict, and letting issues get suppressed over and over again. It’s no surprise that they’re struggling with romance and intimacy, because they’re constantly battling the resentment or emotions they’ve shoved down.
5. ‘Yeah, I’m sure you will’
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While it can sometimes be playful and funny, most of the time, consistent sarcasm in a relationship often stems from unresolved problems and feelings. So, if a partner is constantly saying “yeah, I’m sure you will” or “yeah, right” instead of expressing concern, chances are it’s because there’s already a lack of trust.
Losing your capacity for love doesn’t usually come from thin air. It stems from all kinds of misunderstandings, miscommunications, and mistrust that we so often miss amid the chaos of daily life.
6. ‘I don’t care’
Sometimes you just don't really care about something, even in your relationship. Maybe it's the decorating of your home, maybe it's what to have for dinner. It's normal and sometimes even really healthy to not care. But emotional numbness and not caring about each other anymore are often serious signs a relationship is struggling. At this point, they’ve already likely grown out of love, and now, there’s also a lack of empathy and understanding.
That’s why indifference is often associated with lower relationship health and well-being. “I don’t care” might seem casual, but if you don’t care about a person you’re supposed to love, what really is there to salvage?
7. ‘You should’ve known’
When we expect people to read our minds, instead of being direct and communicating our needs openly, we back ourselves into a corner. We create misunderstandings and get upset at people, not always realizing that we’re holding onto unsustainable standards for the people we love.
At some point, everything becomes shallow, conversations start centering around logistics, and all a couple’s interactions feel disconnected and resentful.
8. ‘Why would you even say that?’
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We often need shared values and beliefs in a relationship for it to work out. When we decide to make compromises around these things that make us who we are, everything else can suffer. That’s why phrases like this are huge warning signals, because they reveal a partner growing disconnected from the motivations and intentions of the person they’re supposed to understand most.
They start losing their capacity to empathize and understand, shifting how capable they are of loving.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
