People With Exceptionally High Self-Respect Usually Refuse To Engage In 7 Common Habits
Vitaliy Haiduk | Pexels What if self-respect could protect you from depression? Some experts suggest there's truth there.
Someone's self-respect predicts assertiveness, and since assertiveness is a buffer against depression and other mental health concerns, people who accept themselves may live happier, healthier lives. While acceptance often predicts the behaviors people engage in, someone with exceptionally high self-respect may also avoid certain common habits.
Common habits people with self-respect refuse to engage in
1. Seek closure or comfort from others
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We've been socialized into believing that we can't move on or end a relationship without getting a vague sense of closure. But putting our well-being in someone else's hands is unpredictable. Often, it causes more stress and anxiety, and removes our sense of agency completely.
Self-respecting people focus on building their own arsenal of coping mechanisms. They don't look to other people to comfort them through hard times or for closure from those who don't deserve their attention.
2. Over-explain
When we over-explain ourselves, we're saying we need someone else's validation to perceive our own opinions and needs as worthy or valuable. But a person with high self-respect doesn't need reassurance to feel secure about what they have to say.
For people who are committed to misunderstanding them or misconstruing their words, self-respecting people refuse to over-explain themselves. They honor their needs and values, even if it's easier to overstep them and be agreeable.
3. Shift their personality to be liked
While likability has a lot more to do with a good personality, it's true that people with similar personalities tend to mesh well. But the healthiest people still don't seek to be liked by everyone, especially if that would require changing themselves.
Someone with a high sense of self-respect honors themselves authentically. They're comfortable being disliked because, at the end of the day, they're secure in who they are without all the extra validation and praise.
4. Say 'yes' when they mean 'no'
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Even if they save hard conversations for text messages and say yes to social events they know they can't make, it's because it feels more comfortable. But these people are sabotaging their self-trust and creating more stress for themselves.
They're hiding their needs and overstepping their boundaries for immediate comfort. In the end, it negatively affects their well-being and relationships by trying to please everyone else.
While self-respecting people are compassionate and willing to inconvenience themselves to show up for others, they don't say yes when they mean no to protect the peace. They honor their needs and set their boundaries, even when it's uncomfortable.
5. Give people an out after hurting their feelings
A sense of high self-worth and respect are some of the only buffers to contagious social emotions like self-blame and negativity. If you're around people who over-apologize constantly or complain without taking action, you can easily adopt similar patterns of behavior, unless you have a foundation of inner security to rely on.
While most people find a way to blame and shame themselves, offering "outs" to people who hurt them, those with high self-respect do the opposite. Even if it makes a conversation uncomfortable, they don't accept justifications like "it's just a joke" or take the blame for things they're not at fault for.
6. Stay in relationships that don't serve them
When we naturally outgrow relationships, it creates space for us to learn and grow. It's this discomfort and the hard conversations we must have that give us a chance to evolve as people, instead of staying stuck around those who don't serve us anymore.
Not all relationships are supposed to challenge us, but they shouldn't keep us stuck. A relationship of convenience or comfort holds us back from our true potential, and it's not worth investing so much time and energy into it.
Someone with self-respect is willing to outgrow people and leave relationships, not to spite someone but to look out for themselves.
7. Gossip or judge someone behind their back
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Judgmental people are compensating for feelings of lack or shame. The most important things they have to say are what they know about everyone else. They don't believe anything they could share about themselves is worthy of attention or understanding.
If we're constantly judging others, it also makes us more anxious. We believe that everyone else is viewing us through a similarly negative lens, prompting more self-consciousness and defensiveness.
When we replace judgment with understanding and curiosity, as so many self-respecting people have learned to do, we set ourselves up for happiness and connection.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
