People Who’d Rather Be Honest Than Liked Usually Say 8 Phrases No One Else Dares To Admit
pedro7merino / Shutterstock Most of us want other people to be honest with us, but that can get really complicated when the truth isn’t what we want to hear.
Plenty of people choose to be likable, even if it means bending the truth a little. Those who don’t can come off as hurtful at times, but they want to be true to their values, no matter what.
If someone would rather be honest than liked, they usually say these phrases no one else would ever dare to admit
1. ‘I think you’re wrong’
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Telling someone they’re wrong is something that most people would want to avoid at all costs, even if it was painfully obvious. The human brain is wired so that when someone realizes they’re wrong, it feels super uncomfortable.
That’s not something most people are willing to make another person deal with. But anyone whose top priority is honesty will have no problem delivering that news. The other person might even thank them eventually.
2. ‘You aren’t being fair’
Although there isn’t much about life that’s actually fair, it’s still a principle that most people care about deeply. It makes sense that someone would be pretty upset to have to confront the possibility that they weren’t being fair, or at least didn’t seem to be.
Few people would be willing to admit that, even if they felt like the unfairness was affecting them personally. Honest people are quick to point it out and accept any consequences that come with it.
3. ‘Nobody wants to do that’
It’s really awkward when a friend suggests doing something that is about as interesting as watching paint dry, but no one wants to tell them that. Experts think that it’s actually not bad to tell a white lie if it’s done out of kindness. Most people stick to that philosophy whether they care about being trustworthy or not because they don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.
People who aren’t concerned about that will speak up about how bad they think an idea is without a second thought. It won’t make them popular, but that’s not their goal anyway.
4. ‘I don’t have the energy for this’
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Everyone knows what it’s like when a friend tries to have a tough conversation at the absolute worst time. It’s the last thing you want to do, but you also don’t want to make them mad.
There aren’t a lot of people out there who can confidently tell others no without feeling guilty. That’s a pretty accurate description of people who just want to be honest, though. Reframing it by saying it’s not a good time for them softens the blow a bit, but it still sends the same message.
5. ‘What other people think doesn’t matter’
It’s probably so hard for people to say that other people’s opinions don’t matter because they don’t really believe that themselves. The real problem actually comes from the way we assume everyone is thinking bad things about us.
So it’s not wrong to say that other people’s thoughts really don’t matter, but it can sound harsh when someone is really worried and trying to work through their feelings. It almost seems dismissive, but honest people don’t care. They’ll tell the truth no matter how much someone doesn’t want to hear it.
6. ‘I don’t have anything nice to say about that’
Anyone who’s seen “Bambi” before is familiar with the quote, “If you can’t say something nice, don’t say nothing at all.” People have taken this to an extreme, though. When there’s nothing nice to say, a lot of people will just make up something nice to make things less awkward.
When someone is most concerned about being honest, they’re not going to say something that isn’t true just because it seems like the kind thing to do. They might be the only ones brave enough to admit that sometimes there isn’t actually anything nice that can be said.
7. ‘You just want people to agree with you’
Instead of just being confident in what they believe, a lot of people try to get everyone else on the same page, too. This can be really problematic when they push others to abandon their own beliefs to agree with them.
Few people would be willing to call them out for this, but anyone who values honesty won’t think twice about it. They want that person to accept the truth, and they don’t want other people to think they have to let go of their own truth to make someone else happy.
8. ‘I’m happy for you, but not for me’
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The idea that we should celebrate other people’s achievements and not feel like their success takes away from our own has become really popular. Unfortunately, that’s not how most people actually feel.
It’s possible to be happy for a friend who’s doing great things and disappointed for yourself at the same time. Jealousy can lead to negativity sometimes, but it isn’t always irrational. Honest people freely admit that. They won’t hide their own hurt just to make someone else feel good. It gets uncomfortable when their honesty about their hurt then hurts someone else, though.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
