People Who Feel Mentally & Emotionally Alone Usually Say 10 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Glodi Miessi | Unsplash Loneliness is often contagious to others, so knowing when someone feels alone isn't just important for them, but also for you. When one person feels alone, others start to soak in that energy.
Unfortunately, mentally and emotionally alone people don't often have the space to seek help. They're not close to a support network or are seriously isolated from social connection. And when you hear them use these phrases in conversation, the warning signs are obvious.
Phrases mentally and emotionally lonely people say often
1. 'I don't want to be a bother'
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When someone's suffering from loneliness, it's not unsurprising when they also adopt anxious tendencies, which can spiral even farther to create self-consciousness and a fear of being a burden. While these might seem harmless in the moment, they're only isolating themselves further by making excuses for not asking for help.
They might not expressively say "I don't want to be a bother," but they'll say something along these lines to avoid accepting help or admitting that they're struggling.
2. 'I can figure it out on my own'
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Hyper-independence is a coping mechanism that truly lonely people often grow into over time. They're so used to being alone and figuring things out themselves that they become reliant on that sense of control.
It's also possible that they're afraid of rejection and abandonment, and being alone or doing things themselves feels like a safe way to avoid those things. "I can figure it out on my own" and "I'm really fine" are just examples of them trying to excuse independence that keeps them stuck in a cycle of loneliness.
3. 'I'm overthinking it'
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When you spend a ton of time alone and it's not by choice, it's common for self-criticism to grow. You start to shame yourself for not having friends or criticizing everything about yourself. You assume that you're the problem, and suddenly, spending time in your own company becomes less restful and more hostile.
"I'm overthinking it" or "I'm probably wrong" is just an example of that low self-esteem. People who feel mentally and emotionally alone tend to talk down to themselves, and it keeps them stuck in this place of lack where they turn people away constantly.
4. 'I have a lot going on'
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While it's true that they might have a heavy workload and even more going on emotionally, the most lonely people are always finding an excuse. It's much easier to avoid discomfort when you're already feeling overwhelmed, even if it means saying "no" to social invitations that are necessary to finding community and making connections.
They stay stuck because it feels impossible to put themselves around other people and in conversations where they don't know what to expect.
5. 'Nobody understands'
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When you believe that it's impossible to connect with someone, you stop putting effort into social interactions entirely. It's obvious that they're disconnected, but phrases like this also raise red flags that a person is untrusting.
It's easier to believe that they're misunderstood because of the fault of others, instead of taking accountability for their own social presence and effort.
6. 'It's not a big deal'
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Out of fear that they're going to burden someone else, lonely people are always dismissing and invalidating their own needs. Their emotions are on the back burner.
They're not looking to make someone else's life harder or become reliant on a person who could just as easily leave. There's always this inner bargaining going on, causing all sorts of emotional turmoil.
7. 'It is what it is'
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Taking a step back from your own life and assuming that life is happening to you is how someone who's truly lonely copes with being alone. If they can blame someone or something else for their unhappiness, they can avoid making themselves more sad or angry by taking responsibility for it themselves.
Whether it's saying "it is what it is" when someone points out their struggles or shifting blame onto others when they make a mistake, they're compensating for what they're afraid of, not realizing it's actually the cure to their suffering.
8. 'I don't expect much'
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When you're used to expecting the bare minimum from people, you start to shut people out subconsciously. Trusting people feels impossible. Being open with someone is even harder.
When someone is mentally and emotionally alone, their suffering revolves around a fear of being left behind, not necessarily a barrier of anxiety in conversations. "I don't expect much" is how they remind people they don't care, even though they do.
9. 'Maybe next time'
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So much of a truly lonely person's life is considering whether they should go out, and then dealing with the guilt and shame of saying "no." It's a cycle. They crave the relief of not having to worry about awkward conversations and small talk, while still wanting community and connection.
They create caveats like "maybe next time" to soothe themselves, but the most lonely people are often stuck here until they're forced to step outside their comfort zones.
10. 'I'm fine'
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When you've learned that over-explaining yourself or being authentic only leaves you alone, you start shutting down around others. Even if it comes at their own expense, they suppress their emotions and push down complicated feelings.
They're never their true selves, but that means they're also stuck. They can't find their people or mesh with the communities that are meant for them, because they're not being authentic.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
