9 Odd But Relatable Reasons People Stick To Routines They Don’t Even Enjoy
Andrii Iemelianenko | Shutterstock We're all just trying to get through the day, and sometimes, to do that, we create routines that aren't exactly enjoyable but somehow help with the monotony.
Is it enjoyable that I must empty the sink of any dirty dish before I can get a decent night's sleep? No, but I do it because it helps put me to bed. We all have routines we stick to. That's totally normal. The reasons for the routines themselves might, however, be odd, but that's what makes them so relatable.
People who stick to routines they don’t enjoy have these oddly relatable reasons:
1. They’re grieving something complicated
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Someone who doesn’t want to let go of a routine may be grieving someone or something they’ve lost. Whether it's a routine you adopted before a relationship ended and you're having trouble stopping, or it was the routine of a person who passed away, going through the motions makes that person feel more tangible even if the action itself isn't exactly fun.
We all grieve in our own way, and if that means you always iron dress shirts on a Tuesday night while watching "Murder She Wrote" reruns, you do you. It's odd, but it makes sense.
2. They feel bad about themselves
When you subconsciously don’t think you’re worthy of a happy life, you might self-sabotage and punish yourself with an unhealthy routine like eating dinner while standing in front of the refrigerator.
It’s really something that only someone who’s struggled with self-esteem issues can understand. You’re stuck in a place of lacking motivation and poor habits, not because you don’t have the ability to elevate, but because you don’t feel deserving of it.
3. They enjoy chaos
When someone’s seeking familiarity and comfort, as weird as it sounds, they might gravitate toward chaos. Especially if they’ve spent their entire lives in chaotic environments and around stressful people, sometimes that behavior is weirdly calming.
If they’re sticking to bad habits, they might just be familiar, and they aren’t sure how to move forward.
4. They don't know how to get out of a victim mentality
When someone’s committed to being the victim in their own life or mistakenly associates hardship with meaning and purpose, they may subconsciously stay in routines that don't bring them joy. Maybe their routine involves dinner with a toxic parent once a week. They hate it but feel they need to suffer through it.
They lean into suffering because it's what they know, even when growth and happiness are achievable. They wear their struggle as a badge of honor, even at their own expense.
5. They’re afraid of success
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For most people, being afraid of success sounds like a joke. However, some people truly don’t want to be successful. When you're at the top, there's a long way to fall, and that can be paralyzing to some people. They want to be comfortable and small, even if it means holding onto habits and routines that don’t do them any favors.
Perhaps their routine involves only staying at a job for a year before quitting for something new. Yes, they might shrink themselves. Yes, they may self-sabotage. However, it’s all better than the fear and uncertainty that comes from success.
6. They use misery as an excuse
If they’re not wearing it as a badge of honor, people living miserable lives may stay struggling so they have an excuse. They don’t want to admit that they’re trying and failing, so they cling to hardship as an excuse to be lazy, do nothing, or stay stagnant.
Part of their routine is not trying, so they hold onto a perpetual victim mentality, at their own and everyone around them’s expense.
7. They want to feel in control
There’s really no such thing as being in control of your life. The world is an uncertain place, and the people who are the most secure and successful accept that. They go with the flow and try to control what they can without sabotaging their own growth and staying in a perpetual state of comfort.
However, someone who’s sticking to a routine that they don’t even enjoy may be using it to feign control. It’s the one thing they might be able to control, and even if it’s making their lives worse, at least it’s not unexpected and uncertain.
8. They’re stuck in a role they don't know how to stop playing
When the story you’ve been telling yourself forever is harming you, sometimes it still feels more comfortable to hold on. If your self-worth and personality are centered around the story, removing or changing it is less enjoyable than the routine.
To most authentic people with a strong sense of self or purpose, this might be an odd reason to stay stuck in a bad routine. However, for these kinds of people, it’s a part of the narrative that makes them feel comfortable, even if it’s all a distraction.
9. They think change is dramatic
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The same kinds of people who wait for things to drop into their laps are usually the ones who think change is bad. They’re waiting for the motivation to hit them to chase their dreams, not realizing that motivation comes from action, not desire. The routines they cling to usually involve being safe and secure in monotony.
So, they might have dreams and big goals, understanding that their current routine is bad, but it’s this belief that change is a huge event that’s sabotaging them. In reality, it’s little progress forward that yields the best results.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
