Someone Who Can't Be Honest Usually Says 9 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock There are plenty of people in the world who are frequently dishonest because they simply don’t care about their integrity and decency. Others feel like they don’t have the option to be honest, usually because they’re afraid of potential consequences, like putting themselves in harm's way or losing someone.
These people would never outright admit they’re being less than truthful, but they tend to drop some common phrases that make them easier to spot than they probably realize. They’ll often make statements that make it clear that they can’t completely stand behind whatever they’re saying, no matter how confident they may try to appear.
People who can’t be honest often use these subtly deceitful phrases during casual conversations
1. ‘It’s a long story’
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Calling the truth a long story is one of the most common ways people try to avoid sharing every single detail. Even if questions remain, someone can try to move on by implying it’s too complicated to get into it any deeper. That’s fine if it signals that they want to talk about it later, maybe in private, but it doesn’t work if later never comes.
Although most people who say this probably don't think they’re lying, they are technically lying by omission. Licensed clinical social worker Haley Hicks explained, “It’s like telling half the story, with the missing half being crucial to understanding the entire picture.”
All this does is confuse people and erode trust.
2. ‘Trust me on this’
It’s pretty awkward when you’re trying to have a real conversation with someone, but they completely shut down and refuse to provide further information, relying on the excuse that you should just trust them and take them at their word.
A lot of people would be tempted to take this personally, but if the other person is cutting you off, it actually probably has nothing to do with you. Instead, it’s a sign of inner turmoil that they need to work through on their own.
3. ‘Sort of’
Phrases like “sort of” are similar to what’s known as a qualifier in writing. This describes a word or phrase that a writer uses to show how certain or uncertain they are about something. The same concept applies to speech.
Obviously, this isn't the kind of phrase that inspires a lot of confidence. It’s super noncommittal and basically means that someone isn’t willing to give a straight answer. This indicates just how conflicted their relationship with the truth has become.
4. ‘Let’s talk about it later’
This is a tricky phrase to interpret because someone might genuinely intend to finish the conversation later. They might also just want you to believe that’s their plan so they don’t have to keep talking about whatever the uncomfortable subject is right now.
But more often than not, it’s a form of evasion. That person is done talking and is looking for an excuse to not say anything else. Even if you ask them a direct question, they might not feel like that’s the best time to answer, or they might just not want to answer. It’s frustrating no matter what the exact circumstances are.
5. ‘You wouldn’t get it’
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This is a clear dismissal and a sign that someone isn't open to answering questions anymore. This could be because they think the questions are invasive.
Psychotherapist Hillary Schoninger, LCSW, said, “You might feel uneasy about how to answer these questions to preserve your privacy and model appropriate boundaries.”
No one wants to deal with questions that truly cross a line, but someone who can’t be honest probably doesn’t really think your questions are invasive, or they wouldn’t meet the normal definition. They just can’t bring themselves to share anymore, so they do whatever it takes to end the conversation.
6. ‘I guess so’
When someone mentions commitment issues, it probably makes you think of a romantic relationship, but this idea can also apply to the way someone presents information. In this case, they’re afraid of locking in and dedicating themselves to a certain answer instead of a person.
Saying “I guess so” means they aren’t confirming or denying anything. They’re actually leaving their options completely open, even though it sounds like they agreed with you. It’s the exact opposite of commitment and honesty.
7. ‘You don’t need to worry’
Being told not to worry should sound reassuring and even encouraging, but there’s sometimes a deeper meaning behind those words. When someone says this, it’s like the equivalent of saying they don’t want you to worry because they don’t want you to think about it at all.
If someone wants to shut down a conversation as politely as possible, like when they don’t have time for it, they’ll usually do the other person the courtesy of briefly explaining that. This leaves you with more questions instead, which can really hurt.
8. ‘I don’t really remember’
Hearing someone say that they can’t remember what happened in a certain situation means you can’t really push them any further. After all, if they really forgot, there’s no point. People who can’t be honest know this and use it to their advantage to avoid tough conversations.
This is a clear form of avoidance, which some people actually use as a coping mechanism so they don’t have to address things they don’t want to. This just puts off processing painful emotions, so it isn’t helpful, but it might feel like the best thing for them to do at the time.
9. ‘I’m fine’
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“Fine” is probably one of the most overused words in the world. Everyone throws it out when they don’t want to deal with something difficult, especially when it’s a talk with someone else. People might say this as a way to avoid facing their challenges head-on or to stay out of a fight.
There’s a time and a place when that could be helpful, but it’s not sustainable in the long term. Someone who feels like they can’t be honest will do whatever it takes to dance around the truth, though, even if it hurts them over time.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
