People Who Can Wait In Line Without Having A Tantrum Usually Excel At 5 Things An Impatient Person Finds Exceptionally Hard
Dikushin Dmitry | Shutterstock Admittedly, I hate waiting, especially in a line. All I want to do is jump to the front and be on with my day. However, recent research shows that there are actually benefits of waiting. And because it's something everyone has to do, the ways in which people respond to it can be very telling about them.
Ayse Burcin Baskurt, a Senior Lecturer of Applied Positive Psychology at the University of East London, led a research team to find the benefits of waiting on the brain, and the findings were quite surprising to say the least. Waiting is a transferable skill to many other areas of life, and it's quite beneficial not only to practice it but also to use those moments to enhance your connection to your values.
People who can wait in line without having a tantrum usually excel at 5 things an impatient person finds really hard:
1. They're able to savor the moment.
While it's not necessarily fun to wait in line, people who can wait without a tantrum are often the same people who savor the more positive experience of looking forward to the end of the line. This is because they're better able to cope with the uncomfortable experience of waiting by focusing their attention on what to look forward to.
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Echoed by Baskurt, "Research shows that savoring what we look forward to helps us prolong pleasure." In other words, by imagining the moment at the end of the line when you finally get what you've been waiting for, anticipating it can actually make it a more positive experience all around.
2. They can regulate their emotions.
Waiting in line can feel extremely frustrating, especially when the line is so long that you can't even see where it starts or ends, or know where you're placed in it. However, the difference between patient people and their impatient counterparts is that the former can regulate their emotions very effectively.
This is because they're able to see the value in delayed gratification as opposed to our society's predisposed need for instant gratification. According to the Associated Clinic of Psychology, "Individuals who regularly resist the lure of immediate rewards tend to have stronger emotional regulation and decision-making skills, which contributes to long-term satisfaction and mental well-being."
3. They practice gratitude while waiting.
Who in their right mind would be grateful to be waiting in line? Well, that's not exactly what I mean. While I'm sure there are people who practice gratitude in such a literal sense, waiting in line allows patient people to pause and take a moment to think about what they're grateful for.
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Whether it's related to being grateful for having the money to attend the concert you're in line for, or being grateful to have life-saving medication in line at the pharmacy. As Baskurt said, "Pausing to reflect on what you’re grateful for can make waiting less about the frustration or worry you’re feeling and more about appreciation."
4. They can shift perspectives beneficially.
While we can't necessarily force the line to move faster, nor can we avoid lines for the rest of our lives, patient people recognize that they have control over their own perspective of the situation. This in turn allows them to increase their agency and tolerance over all sorts of mishaps that life throws our way.
According to Psychotherapist Megan Gunnell, LMSW, "our perspective affects our feelings, and these feelings affect our behavior. This also means that if you change your perspective, you’ll change your feelings and then you’ll change your behavior for the better." By shifting your perspective about waiting in line, you can put distance between yourself and feeling irritable so that it feels less unbearable.
5. They accept that waiting is a part of life.
Last but certainly not least, patient people are aware that they're going to have to wait at times, and they acknowledge that that is okay. In doing so, they increase their mindfulness and don't wrestle with negative feelings nearly as much. After all what's the point in getting angry over something you can't control?
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Baskurt stated that "Mindfulness involves paying full attention to the present moment, and looking at it with curiosity and acceptance." She went on to say the benefits of this practice are that "Intentionally noticing what’s going on in you and around you can turn an annoying circumstance into a mini check-in and chance to re-charge."
Paying attention to this more peaceful, neutral part of oneself is much more sustainable than giving so much power to the stressed-out part. Honestly, after writing this article, I feel more compelled to practice these necessary skills to make waiting in line more bearable. While I don't necessarily throw a tantrum, it would be highly beneficial for people like me to adopt these skills to manage inner turmoil much more effectively the next time I have to wait.
Luke Aliga is a writer with a degree in Technical Writing and Communication who covers relationships, culture, and human interest topics.
