People With Actual Emotional Intelligence Have Zero Interest In Doing 10 Things Ever
fizkes | Shutterstock Someone with true emotional intelligence doesn't just know exactly how they're feeling, but is able to pick up on how others are feeling as well.
They act accordingly to ensure that everyone's needs are being acknowledged and nurtured. But, above all else, they're extremely secure in who they are, and that means they're never trying to perform or show interest in something they know will not serve them in the long run. In fact, people with actual emotional intelligence have zero interest in doing certain things, and won't make excuses for it. Emotionally intelligent individuals tend to not struggle with their confidence, which means they possess the ability to discern what will bring them unnecessary stress and disturb their peace.
People with actual emotional intelligence have zero interest in doing 10 things ever
1. Winning arguments at the expense of a relationship
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True emotionally intelligent people are never interested in proving a point if it means the relationship will deteriorate in the process. Being right is sometimes never the goal of an argument in the first place.
If anything, they're way more focused on whether the issue can be resolved in a way that means both them and the other person can move on. Their ego is never at the forefront of any kind of conflict, especially when it's with someone they genuinely care about. For them, it's always about being able to learn, and that can't happen if they're approaching a conversation with the goal to "win."
2. Playing mind games
People who have actual emotional intelligence don't ever feel the need to create confusion for someone else just to see how they will react. Instead, they're clear and concise with anyone they're talking to because they would much rather have a healthy relationship with good communication than deal with constant misunderstandings.
If they even have to think of tricking someone into showing them their true colors, the start of the relationship is already off to a shaky start. Emotionally intelligent people understand that to have a genuine connection with others, there needs to be a level of honesty and showing up exactly who they are so the other person can too.
3. Bringing up old issues during new conversations
Once they've patched things up with people, they move on for real. There's never any bringing up of past issues or making someone feel bad about something they've apologized for and even changed their behavior afterwards.
When they make peace on something, that means they turn a new page and start looking at that person or situation with a clean slate. Nothing good ever comes from still holding things against someone, and for their own peace of mind they would much rather just let the grudge go.
4. Gossiping or tearing people down behind their backs
People with actual emotional intelligence have zero interest in wasting their time or energy talking negatively about someone. If they have a problem with the way someone is behaving, they will go directly to them and have a calm, honest conversation. It just doesn't feel good or productive for them to say nasty things about another person behind their back.
While gossiping isn't always a bad thing and can even be a social benefit, to do it with an agenda of being mean doesn't sit right with emotionally intelligent people. To know that they could hurt someone else's feelings immensely by doing so stops them in their tracks every single time. They never want their words to bring someone else down.
5. Ignoring their own emotional patterns
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Since they've done the work to understand their emotions and subsequently the things that trigger them, they can never pretend that a reaction just came out of nowhere. Rather than finding themselves in a particular situation that is evoking a certain reaction and pretending that it isn't happening, they lean into it.
They get curious because that curiosity means they're able to further understand themselves. By being self-aware about who they are, and that means understanding their flaws just as much as they understand the things they're good at, it helps them lead a much more balanced life.
6. Chasing closure from people who won't give it
Not everyone is capable of providing the clarity they may want. So, they aren't going to keep circling back around or even thinking about a situation for too long with the hope that they'll get a different outcome. It's a nice idea in theory, and for them they always think about giving people closure when they can.
But unfortunately, waiting on another person for some kind of resolution will only keep them feeling wounded. And after any kind of conflict, they just want to make their peace with it and move on with their lives.
7. Overcommitting just to be liked
People with actual emotional intelligence have no problem saying yes to plans and being social, but they're also deeply aware of how much energy they have to give to others. You'll never catch a truly emotionally intelligent person agreeing to plans or giving their time to something or someone when they know they already have too much on their plate. They're extremely secure in their boundaries, and the last thing they care about is being liked.
To them, if someone has a problem with them choosing not to overextend themselves just to appease them, that person isn't someone they want to spend time with anyway. They'd much rather be around people who actually care about them and never want to see them getting too overwhelmed.
8. Using silence as punishment
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You will simply never catch an emotionally intelligent person using silence as a weapon against someone they're frustrated with. They know that it won't solve anything at all if they refuse to speak to someone about the issues between them.
Sure, it can probably be an uncomfortable conversation when they're confronting someone else about a problem, but in their mind speaking about it will actually reap results. Brushing things under the rug and pretending that person isn't even in the room when they walk in won't at all.
9. Avoiding accountability when they're wrong
These individuals are never wasting time making excuses or pointing the finger at other people when something has gone wrong. Instead, they'll take accountability for their mistakes, even if other people end up disappointed. Owning up to a mistake doesn't make them weak in the slightest, either.
It actually means they're willing to change and grow from failing, rather than refusing to take accountability and ending up making the same mistake again down the line. While it can definitely feel uncomfortable at times for them to throw their hands up and admit they've messed up, they're willing to sit in that discomfort.
10. Needing to have the last word
When a conversation has run its course, people with actual emotional intelligence have zero interest in still attempting to talk and get the last word in. Rather than focusing on the next thing they can say to leave an impression or prove that they're unbothered, they focus on if there is still something with actual value left to say.
If there's not, they simply walk away. Their egos are never at the forefront of any kind of conversation and, because of that, they never feel the urge to try and one-up the other person.
Nia Tipton is a staff writer with a bachelor's degree in creative writing and journalism who covers news and lifestyle topics that focus on psychology, relationships, and the human experience.
