11 Ways Good Men Accidentally Push Love Away
Kitreel / Shutterstock Men can struggle to find love. Even good ones may unknowingly push women away. Many factors can impact their ability to find the perfect woman to settle down with.
It can be appealing for men to live a bachelor lifestyle. Even when they are ready to find the one, certain habits from their single days can bleed into the search. Whether it’s putting themselves before others or seeking fulfillment from work instead of relationships, little things can add up. It can push away even his perfect match. If you know a wonderful man who deserves to be in a strong relationship, he may be doing these things that accidentally push love away.
These are 11 ways good men accidentally push love away
1. They let stress win
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Stress is serious. Stress affects every aspect of our bodies. Its physical impact can be felt from head to toe. It can also take its toll on relationships. If a man is too caught up in his daily stress, he can accidentally push love away.
If a man is distracted by what is going on in his personal life, his love life may suffer. Instead of focusing on letting a partner in, he is caught up in what he feels is going wrong in his world. Though he may find comfort in having a partner through these moments, he is accidentally pushing love away by focusing too much on stress.
2. They get caught up in work
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Career-minded people can put everything they have into their work. If someone is dedicated to their job, they inadvertently push love away. Instead of putting effort into their romantic relationships, they are too caught up in the business of it all. Some men can be serious workhorses and neglect themselves and their relationships for the sake of their career.
A study found that there are serious mental health implications attached to work-related stress in men. They can take on the weight of their career and have it control their lives. Instead of taking time for themselves or love, they may be too caught up in their work.
3. They withdraw emotionally
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Men are taught from a young age that showing emotion makes them weak. If they show a softer side of themselves, they may be judged. This behavior can cause relationship strain. They can have a hard time showing their true selves to others. If they feel themselves getting too close to someone, they may pull back quickly.
If they feel their masculinity is being threatened, they may pull away. This can cause them to end up in relationships lacking emotional intimacy. Whether they mean to or not, they are accidentally pushing love away with this behavior.
4. They avoid problem-solving
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Talking about a man’s feelings can be difficult. Instead of tackling things head-on, a man may avoid conflict to keep from opening up. Conflict can be awkward, but it can be necessary. Instead of working towards a solution, they may run away. It is easier to avoid the problem than to solve it.
It’s easy to become discouraged when trying to solve problems. If a man chooses to walk away instead of working through them, he may have good intentions, but he is pushing love away.
5. They prioritize independence
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Many of us picture men as perpetual bachelors. They want to be able to do what they want, when they want it. They can learn to live life completely for themselves. Whether they mean to or not, they may accidentally push love away by clinging too strongly to their independence. They can push a woman away before they realize, because their independence feels more important.
When you enter a relationship, you join lives with that person. It can be intimidating to go from single to partnered. A man may have a hard time letting a woman into his life.
6. They are easily distracted
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Sometimes, men can be easily distracted. When they are in a relationship, they can struggle with staying present. Life is moving at a mile a minute, and there are times when we have to give our focus to other things. Whether it’s a work project or a friend in need, things come up in life that can pull us away from our relationships. If a man chooses distractions over his partner, he is pushing love away even if he has good intentions.
A man may want to be there for others in his life. However, it can come at a cost to his relationship. If he is distracted and not giving his all to his partner, he can struggle to form healthy relationships.
7. They fear vulnerability
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Vulnerability isn’t easy for anyone. It can be scary to open up to someone else. In a relationship, vulnerability is important. It’s needed to connect with our partners fully. If a man struggles with this, he may be accidentally pushing love away. Instead of forming a genuine connection, things can be complicated. A relationship may feel surface-level.
In relationships, vulnerability is a strength. Once men can embrace this, they can fully give themselves to someone else. Until then, they may be unintentionally keeping true love away.
8. They are dismissive
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It can be difficult to form a bond with someone who is dismissive. Whether they are dismissing love entirely or making their partner feel unimportant, both issues can cause serious wear in a romantic bond. Choosing to dismiss someone who has genuine feelings for them, whether it’s out of fear or uncertainty, they may push away someone who could make a positive impact on their lives. Dismissing them may be a defensive mechanism. They can try to avoid love entirely to keep themselves safe.
Dismissing a partner’s feelings can also land them in hot water. If he is unwilling to put effort into understanding and caring for his partner, it’s no surprise he is accidentally pushing love away.
9. They disrespect boundaries
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Everyone needs boundaries. Healthy boundaries keep us from giving too much of ourselves to others. Sometimes, we can find ourselves in relationships without boundaries. Whether a man is blatantly disrespecting the ones set by his partner, or they have failed to create any in their partnership, it can lead to serious issues. This means that he could be accidentally pushing love away, even if he doesn’t want to.
If a man is tiptoeing around boundaries, he may find himself too invested in the relationship to the point where it’s impacting their bond. Whether they are doing too much for the person or not enough, maintaining healthy boundaries can bring in love.
10. They fear commitment
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Commitment can be intimidating. Some men may think they are throwing their freedom away when they settle down. Even if they truly bond with someone, they can push them away by refusing to commit. Choosing to stay single over committing to someone they care about, they are losing a shot at love. By working through this fear, they can nurture a healthy relationship.
"This typically refers to an inability to talk about the future or lack of desire to take the next steps when a relationship begins to progress throughout time. Commitment issues may make it challenging to make the relationship go forward or last," says Crystal Raypole for Healthline.
11. They have low self-esteem
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Often, women are assumed to have low self-esteem. It’s a stereotype that can make them appear helpless in a relationship. Men, however, can struggle with the same issues. We may not think of them having self-esteem issues, but it can get in the way of their love lives. Confidence can be faked, and if a man truly feels poorly about himself, he may be pushing love away.
Men who have low self-esteem may not think they are good enough for a partner. Instead of letting her in, he may push her away. He may want a special bond with her, but his own self-esteem issues can prevent him from having a committed relationship.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
