Most People Believe There's A Specific Age People Become 'Too Old' To Fall In Love
Tatiana Saavedra from diversifylens | Canva In our culture, we’re used to being presented with images of young people falling in love. Maybe that’s why a lot of people think that there’s an age at which someone is too old to fall in love.
Books, movies, and TV shows feature stories of young high school sweethearts or couples who connect in their 20s or 30s. Every now and then, you hear about a couple who found love when they were older, and it’s usually because it makes headlines.
We’re just not used to seeing senior citizens fall in love. But does that mean that older people don’t deserve to find love and the happiness that comes with it? Based on one survey, it seems like some people might feel that way.
A majority of people think that once is 68, they’re officially too old to fall in love.
Tawkify, which describes itself as “America’s number one matchmaking service,” surveyed 1,000 people across different generations to find out what their feelings were about love for people who are a bit older. The average age at which someone is believed to be too old to fall in love is 68.
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This age differed slightly among generations, though. Unsurprisingly, Gen Z, the youngest generation surveyed, gave the youngest age, saying 62 was too old to fall in love. For millennials, the age was 68. Interestingly, the age decreased again for Gen X at 63. Baby boomers said that they believed someone was too old to fall in love once they turned 71.
Despite these numbers, 17% of boomers actually said they didn’t think there was any age at which someone was too old to fall in love. This shows that older adults are open to finding love, and they don’t think there’s some age cut-off at which doing so becomes impossible.
Love is an important part of life, but popular media seems to have skewed our view of it.
Neuroscientist Lucy Brown, PhD, conducted a study to determine which parts of the brain feelings of love activate using functional MRIs. She and her colleagues found that when someone saw a picture of the person they loved, their midbrain’s ventral tegmental area was activated.
“It’s the area of the brain that controls things like swallowing and other basic reflexes,” Brown noted. “While we often think about romantic love as this euphoric, amorphous thing and as a complex emotion, the activation we see in this very basic part of the brain is telling us that romantic love is actually a drive to fulfill a basic need.”
Does that mean that once you grow older, you no longer deserve to have that basic need fulfilled? Of course not. Feeling love is important at any and every age.
But, as therapists Andrea Brant, LMHC, and Majesty Purvis, LCMHC, noted, “Due to its significance, many forms of media give false impressions about love.” By only seeing younger couples represented in media, it’s easy to subconsciously reach the conclusion that they are the only ones capable of falling in love in the first place.
Older people seem to prioritize different things in relationships than younger people do.
Some people may see senior citizens as too stubborn or conventional to fall in love, but that’s absolutely not true. The Tawkify survey found that 75% of boomers felt that being in a relationship made them feel younger or healthier.
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Additionally, 47% of boomers reported that they felt like emotional intimacy and physical connection were equally important for a relationship. The boomer survey participants were asked what they thought they understood about love that younger generations did not, and they “most often said that love requires work and commitment, communication is more important than appearance or technology, and companionship often outweighs constant passion.”
This insightful response proves that boomers have learned a lot from their decades of living. A younger person might be quicker to prioritize a significant other’s appearance, or how giddy they make them feel. Older people know that there is far more to a relationship than that. Based on this evidence, there’s no question that people can’t actually become too old to fall in love.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
