If Your Wife Has These 11 Habits, She Probably Needs A Serious Break
spwidoff / Shutterstock Women do serious hard work. Whether they have a career outside the home or are stay-at-home parents, they constantly devote hours to their responsibilities. More often than not, many mothers struggle to take time for themselves. Research has found that women who juggle multiple responsibilities are more emotionally supportive than men who do the same.
If you’re a husband who has found this statistic to be true, it’s likely your wife is longing for a break. She has dedicated herself to making sure everything stays afloat. It could be that she feels she needs to be in control, or things would fall apart. In doing so, she pushes herself to the limits. She is overworked and exhausted. If you notice these habits in your wife, it’s time to encourage her to take a break for herself.
If your wife has these 11 habits, she probably needs a serious break
1. She falls asleep on the couch
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Research has found that parental burnout is a serious issue. It’s no surprise that wives and moms are seriously tired at the end of the day. They are juggling jobs, children, and the household, which is a tremendous workload. If she has a second to sit down, she may fall asleep instantly. She is clearly dealing with debilitating exhaustion.
Wives who devote themselves to their families rarely have time for themselves. If she takes a second to rest and falls asleep immediately, she is dealing with burnout. It’s time for her to take a break. However, most of these women will feel they are unable to take time for themselves. It’s a husband’s job to provide the support and encouragement to make it happen.
2. She’s often irritable
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I am not anyone’s wife or mother, but when I am exhausted and burnt out, my irritability goes through the roof. It can be hard to keep your cool when you’re running a mile a minute. Life is stressful, and adding in the responsibilities of a wife and mother is unimaginable to me, as someone who is easily irritable to begin with.
If you notice your wife’s patience is thin, she probably needs a serious break. She is not taking the time to work on her mental health. Everything will start to test her, and snapping may become more common. Chronic irritability is a clear sign that she needs a break.
3. She never practices self-care
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You may notice that your wife is no longer taking time for herself. Before the stress of life really kicked into gear, she was more in tune with her own needs. She would take a bath when she was stressed or go for a run when feeling overwhelmed. When she’s made herself responsible for everything, she can no longer practice self-care and needs a break to do so.
Husbands can encourage their wives to take time for themselves by helping them create a self-care checklist. This not only gives her a break from her daily stressors, but it also allows her time to truly relax. It doesn’t need to be a very detailed list, but it has to be enough to convince her to take the break she deserves.
4. She rarely sees her friends
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Research shows that women who tie the knot slowly abandon their friends. When we think of our friends distancing themselves from us, we can assume the worst. Is her husband controlling behind closed doors? Is she allowed to have time for herself? These questions can be valid, of course, but for some wives, they are simply too busy.
Your wife may have prioritized girls' nights early in the relationship, but once marriage and kids are thrown into the equation, it becomes harder and harder to maintain these social events. When there are other people in need of their care, wives can put their own social needs on the back burner. If a woman needs a serious break, you can tell by how long ago she saw her closest friends. It’s time for her to hit the town with them for a night.
5. She neglects her hobbies
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Personally, I am a huge reader. When I have had a long day, the first thing I want to do is settle down with a book. If my partner noticed I was so exhausted that I began neglecting my daily reading goals, he would know that something wasn’t right and I likely needed a break. If your wife has a hobby she loves to do but has neglected for the last several months, she’s ready for a night off.
In a healthy relationship, both parties have to maintain separate hobbies. A study conducted in 2023 found that people who kept busy with their hobbies had better mental health, higher levels of happiness, and greater life satisfaction. If your wife isn’t giving herself time to do this helpful task, she needs a serious break.
6. She has trouble staying asleep
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When a woman is quick to fall asleep from exhaustion but can’t seem to stay asleep, she is dealing with high levels of stress. It could be that she is overworked or overly exhausted. Stress takes a serious toll on the body, and to get good sleep, she needs breaks and downtime during the day.
“Stress is one of the most common reasons for insomnia. The cause of stress can be all kinds of things, from lifestyle to medical conditions,” says Adrienne Santos-Longhurst for Healthline. “The real kicker with maintenance insomnia is that stress from not being able to stay asleep can keep the cycle going, making your insomnia worse and leaving you feeling pretty lousy.”
7. She is forgetful
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Exhaustion and stress work together to cause our minds to become fuzzy. Suddenly, things you always remembered become hard to maintain. What did you eat for breakfast? Did you pack the kids’ lunches? Is there gas in your car? These are a few examples of phrases a wife who is in dire need of a break might ask herself.
Your wife is likely experiencing burnout, and it is taking a toll on her memory. Studies have found that burnout and stress can impact both short-term and long-term memories. If it has become habitual for your wife to forget things, she needs a break. Her mind needs to recharge. To help improve this issue, encourage her to rest.
8. She is hard on herself
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Self-criticism can be a sign that your wife needs a break. A study conducted by behavioral scientists found a link between stress, mental health, and self-criticism. The more stress we are under, the more critical we will become of ourselves. Your wife may start to look down on herself or become quickly angered by making a simple mistake.
If your wife has become short-tempered towards herself, the stress and exhaustion she’s carrying may be the problem. Women are critical of themselves to begin with. It’s harder for us to feel good about ourselves. Add in stress at home, and she will be desperate for a good break to unwind.
9. She doubts her abilities
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When a woman becomes self-critical, she will also start to doubt her abilities. You will notice she feels more anxious about her projects at work. She may start to question her parenting techniques. If she comes to you needing reassurance for who she is as a wife and mother, a break is much needed. She is starting to spiral from the stress of everything around her.
Women and men experience a confidence gap. It’s more difficult for women to celebrate their victories than it is for men. When that feeling of self-doubt begins to take over, she will question everything in her life. A way to keep her grounded is by encouraging her to take a break and reassess the situation later.
10. She feels guilty taking breaks
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If your wife is in need of a break, she may feel guilty taking one. She has taken on the household responsibilities and doesn’t think she deserves a break. When she’s sitting down and resting, she’s not getting ahead of tasks for her children and husband. This is a habit known as ‘mom guilt,’ and it is taking over the mental health of parents.
“Some moms feel a dread or a weight on their shoulders (or chest, soul, etc.), and some feel panicky — like they need to fix the problem right now. Mom guilt is the should's, the supposed to’s, and the other moms are… clanking around in your head as you try to make it through the day,” says Alexandra Frost for Healthline. The best way to move forward from this guilt is to reassure her that she is a wonderful wife and mother and that, to stay that way, she needs time for herself, guilt-free.
11. She never asks for help
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If your wife is anything like me, she’d rather inconvenience herself than ask for help. It’s a habit that is difficult to move forward from. I never want to put anyone out. Instead, I’ll stretch myself thin. A wife who never asks for assistance is in need of a break.
Becoming overwhelmed from taking on too much responsibility is no joke. When a woman puts herself in charge, or feels like she must be in charge of everything in the household, she won’t feel comfortable asking for help. Some husbands can be oblivious to this habit. Next time you notice she hasn’t asked for help in a while, assume she needs it. Give her time to take a break.
Haley Van Horn is a freelance writer with a master’s degree in Humanities, living in Los Angeles. Her focus includes entertainment and lifestyle stories.
