Man Calls Off His Wedding After The Cost Made Him Realize He & His Fiancee Are Not Compatible
Hryshchyshen Serhii / Shutterstock Dealing with spending differences can have a major impact on your relationship, as one man found out through wedding planning with his fiancée. He discovered that their financial incompatibility might be too much to overcome, and he went so far as to call off the wedding.
Finances can be one of the hardest things to navigate in a relationship. While some people prefer to be frugal in their spending and save every dollar they can, others like having the freedom to spend wherever and whenever they want. Unfortunately, when a couple is financially incompatible, the problem won't simply go away without clear and active communication and a commitment to getting on the same page.
A man called off his wedding after realizing he was not financially compatible with his fiancée.
He shared in a Reddit post that he has been with his fiancée for about three and a half years, and they've been engaged for six months. Recently, they started discussing wedding plans and financial expectations for the future. "That’s when I realized we have totally different goals and views on things," he wrote.
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The first problem, according to the man, was the amount his fiancée planned to spend on the wedding. After initially meeting with a wedding planner, he shared, "In all, the whole thing would cost about 35k, and I personally think it’s ridiculous to spend that amount on a wedding. Especially when my fiancée makes barely more than that a year."
Later in the week, he asked to sit down again to go over their financial situations. His fiancée revealed that, despite living with her parents and paying only minor bills, she had no savings and significant credit card debt.
However, when the focus shifted to the man's finances, the fiancée basically said that he should be the one to cover the whole $35,000 wedding from his savings. While he lives a modest and frugal life with a stable job, he said, "I pointed out that my liquid savings is for emergency, I have it so that I can quit my job at any point and be able to maintain my lifestyle for at least 6 months without changing anything."
The biggest problem came when his fiancée found out that he was helping his family financially.
The final nail in the coffin was after his fiancée discovered that he had been covering his brother's mortgage for the last year and a half. He explained in the post that his brother had paid for most of his college costs, and he recently went into severe debt after his daughter needed emergency surgery. As a birthday gift, the man offered to cover his brother's mortgage for two years while his family got back on their feet.
His fiancée became angry and demanded that the man stop helping his brother, and that was when he decided they weren't compatible and he didn't want to go forward with the wedding. Now, he's wondering if he was in the wrong, even though he believes financial compatibility is extremely important in a relationship and doesn't see them valuing money the same way.
Sharing similar views on money can have a significant impact on relationship success.
While approaching money similarly isn't required for a relationship to work, it does have its advantages. You'll likely face fewer conflicts, as financial disagreements are one of the top causes of relationship stress. Additionally, having aligned financial goals makes it easier to work towards and achieve them together.
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A survey by Bread Financial found that 64% of couples feel they are financially incompatible with their partner, but 44% of participants wish they shared more similar financial mindsets. On the other hand, 20% actually appreciate having differing approaches to finances.
It seems that what hurt this couple the most wasn't necessarily their financial views, but rather their expectations surrounding money. While the fiancée knew exactly what she wanted and expected the man to pay for it, he was likely expecting to plan and pay for it together.
He saw this as a reflection of the financial situations they might encounter in the future and chose what he felt was best for his future and his happiness. It's almost a good thing these issues came up before they actually got married, because although money isn't easy to talk about, it's one of those really important relationship conversations that can make, or in this case, break a couple up.
Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor's degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
