Pregnant Woman Asks If It Would Be Wrong To Leave Her Fiancé If He Quits The Decent-Paying Job That Makes Him ‘Miserable’
He wants her to take care of the bills.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock A woman wrote on Reddit that she and her fiancé are expecting their first baby in February. She got laid off from her job and has been making some money from freelance work, but their main source of income comes from her fiancé. The thing is, he's thinking about quitting. Even if she finds full-time employment before he quits, there's absolutely no way she can work and support the family after just giving birth.
Understandably, she's thinking it might be time to call it quits with him, especially if he can't see that with a baby on the way, parents need to put their own desires on the back burner. Unfortunately, everyone in his life is telling him that she's the villain in this story, and it's got her wondering if she truly is in the wrong.
A pregnant woman threatened to leave her fiancé if he quits the decent-paying job that makes him 'miserable.'
The woman explained that although her fiancé’s job pays well, he feels miserable there. “He told me he’s going to demand certain things in January,” she wrote, “and I know those things won’t be feasible, especially for his company. If they don’t agree, he’ll quit.” From his perspective, she said, he believes he’s indispensable to the company and that they’ll pretty much have to accept his terms.
Krakenimages.com | Shutterstock
In her mind, this is not the time for negotiating. When asked what his plan would be if he did quit, he said they would move in with her parents and that she would take care of the bills until his website design business started earning more money.
This makes no sense to her. “And if he does quit and expects me to work days after giving birth,” she wrote, “I will absolutely leave him.” In her opinion, it would be a better option to move in with her parents with just the baby and figure out the finances alone. She argued there’s no way she can make payments for his brand new car and the baby’s necessities.
Her fiancé didn't quite understand her perspective. He and his whole family have been shaming her, saying that he took care of the bills when she didn’t have a job during the COVID pandemic. But in her opinion, that was a different scenario. They weren’t expecting a new baby, lived in a city with cheaper expenses, and didn’t have an expensive car payment to contend with.
The woman shouldn't be working right after giving birth.
If the fiancé’s work demands aren't met, then he’ll quit. For that to be possible, the woman explained, she’ll have to work, and that would not be long after giving birth. How exactly is she going to do that? It's not only unfair but also not recommended. There’s no correct answer to how long it takes to return to work after giving birth, but there are some general guidelines.
Experts say it takes about six weeks to feel relief from postpartum symptoms after giving birth. That's, of course, if the birth is completely normal with no complications. The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists even recommends ongoing postpartum care from birth to 12 weeks. This means women should probably not have to worry about being the sole income for an entire household shortly after giving birth.
Plus, baby expenses can be quite pricey. On a monthly basis, newborn health care and insurance can cost between $200 and $400, diapers and wipes $70 to $150, baby food $100 to $250, and much more. Having a steady income can make these expenses a lot easier to manage.
What's even more concerning, however, is the fact that this fiancé doesn't seem to realize how drastically their lives are about to change. Once a baby arrives, a parent's wants and needs always come second to the child's needs.
Although her fiancé has every right to be upset about his job and want better conditions, it might not be the best time to make that move. What is the right move? Slowly grow your business on the side if that's really something you want to do. Even better, find a new job. That way, he has more negotiating power in his current position.
This mom-to-be is absolutely justified in threatening to leave her fiancé if he quits his job, despite what his friends and family say. As one commenter noted, "You need to do what you need to do and put the baby first. You can't be working long hours with a newborn!!! You deserve rest and being able to focus on the baby for the first year at least without having constant anxiety over money."
Matt Machado is a writer studying journalism at the University of Central Florida. He covers relationships, psychology, celebrities, pop culture, and human interest topics.
