5 Simple Tricks To Make Your Husband Much Happier, According To Clinical Psychologist

Clinical psychologist that I am, I aim to fulfill every reader's request. So when a female reader asked for a list of five ways to make husbands happy, not including being intimate, as a companion piece to my article on ways to make your wife happy, I was only too happy to oblige.

Here are five simple tricks to make your husband much happier, according to a clinical psychologist:

1. Appreciate him

Here’s what you used to say: “Hey, thanks so much for putting gas in my car! That was so sweet! Nobody was ever that sweet to me! My friends are like, "Wow, your boyfriend is so great! And I’m like, I know! Back off! Ha ha!”

Here’s what you say now: “When you got the gas in my car, you left all your stuff in there. Throw out your empty Starbucks cup next time. Am I the maid?”

Slight difference. Try focusing for a couple of minutes each day on what you appreciate about your husband. If you can only come up with that he doesn’t drink to excess on most weeknights, and he bathes regularly, start with that. Baby steps.

2. Respect him

woman using the simple trick of respect to make her husband much happier Studio Romantic / Shutterstock

Here’s what you used to say: “Hey, what do you think I should do about Jen at work? You always know about this kind of stuff.”

Here’s what you say now: “Um, why are you always telling me not to worry about Jen? She is a raging bully and is making work into a living nightmare. Yes, I’m sure that the right thing to do is to start a petition to get her fired. You don’t know about my job. My mom thinks I’m right.”

How about you try to think of three areas in which your husband is pretty smart, and then make sure that when the discussion turns to these areas, you exhibit genuine interest in his opinion, and tell him that you value his input? It’s like verbal intimacy.

3. Give him affection

Here’s what you used to say: “I love you so much! You’re so cute. I love it when you wear that shirt. It looks hot.”

Here’s what you say now: “Hey, I thought I bought a cantaloupe. Do you see a cantaloupe in here? Ugh, stop touching me.”

So try and say a couple of kind, complimentary things in addition to your usual sweet nothings about the house and the kids. And don’t forget increasing your non-intimate physical affection, such as hand holding, cuddling, hugging, and kissing. Truth: if men got more of this, they wouldn’t be up on you for physical intimacy 24/7, and/or would act more gracious about rejection when it inevitably occurs.

4. Have fun with him

woman who makes husband much happier by being fun Miljan Zivkovic / Shutterstock

Here’s what you used to say: “Let’s just drive to Ocean City tonight! We can sleep on the floor at my sister’s place! Let's play hooky!”

Here’s what you say now: “So I thought I said we needed to be out of the house at 7:20 to be there at 8. BECAUSE NOW IT IS 7:25 AND NOBODY IS HELPING ME FEED THE KIDS BREAKFAST AND NAP IS GOING TO BE ALL THROWN OFF IF WE DON’T GET THERE RIGHT AT 8 OR AT THE VERY LATEST 8:10. AND STOP TOUCHING ME!”

I’m obviously aware that with children, jobs, houses, and what have you comes the death of spontaneity, but try and be a little less like someone you would have loathed interacting with in your pre-child life. Aim for merely someone you would have disliked.

5. Be generous with him

Here’s what you used to say: “Hey, are you hungry? Let me make you some freshly baked cookies and run out to the store for beer.”

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Here’s what you say now: “Yeah, I’m hungry too. But the kids are asleep, and I’m not getting up off the couch because I need to decompress before I lose it. I had a really bad day.”

Try to do one nice thing every day for your husband. Intimacy counts, but I’m not allowed to mention it, so forget I said that. Other options: make him a meal, make him a snack, buy him his favorite food at the store…. um…. do men like anything besides eating? Okay, watch what he wants on TV, buy him a new shirt or something, I don’t know.

Dr. Samantha Rodman Whiten, aka Dr. Psych Mom, is a clinical psychologist in private practice and the founder of DrPsychMom. She works with adults and couples in her group practice, Best Life Behavioral Health.