Men Who Think These 11 Things Are Beneath Them Probably Aren't Ready For A Real Relationship
Things men often overlook yet are crucial to keeping great love going.
Jenny_Hill | Canva In relationships, men and women often speak different emotional languages. While men tend to prioritize problem-solving and efficiency, women often thrive on connection and emotional nuance. This contrast can lead men to dismiss certain behaviors as unnecessary or even tedious when these very things are the glue holding the relationship together.
If a man can embrace these small but essential gestures, he will not only strengthen his bond with his partner but also create a more fulfilling and harmonious relationship.
11 things men think are beneath them, but are essential to a healthy relationship:
1. The daily download (and why it matters)
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Many men feel ambushed when their partner starts sharing an in-depth rundown of her day, what her coworker mentioned, the barista’s creative spelling of her name, or the frantic search for her keys. To men, this might seem like unnecessary small talk, but for women, it’s an essential way to connect.
She’s not necessarily looking for advice or solutions, just reassurance that her experiences matter to him. By simply listening, even when the details seem minor, a man strengthens their emotional bond.
While this may seem obvious to some, a great way to show attentiveness without feeling overwhelmed is through brief verbal acknowledgments like “Oh, I see,” “Hmm,” or “Got it.” These small responses communicate engagement and help create a natural flow in the conversation, making her feel heard and valued.
2. Keeping things tidy (even if you don’t care about the mess)
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While there's nothing objectively wrong with being a little messy, men and women often find themselves at odds when it comes to how to treat their home. This isn't necessarily a battle of the wills (though it can be), it might reflect different ways in which men and women think about their space.
Men often shrug off clutter or messiness as not a big deal. Women, however, often experience their surroundings as a reflection of their inner world. A messy space can feel chaotic and unsettling.
When a man takes the initiative to clean up without being asked, it speaks volumes. It says, “I see you, I respect your peace of mind, I respect our space.”
3. Deep conversations (even if you think they’re unnecessary)
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Many men think that unless there’s a problem to solve, there’s no need to “go deep.” Women, however, crave meaningful conversations, not just about work and daily logistics but about emotions, dreams, and fears.
When a man engages in deep dialogue, he reassures her that their relationship is more than just surface-level logistics. It’s a true partnership.
When he seems irritated by them, she may feel uncomfortable bringing up important topics. This can lead to loneliness and disconnection, which are never good for a relationship.
4. Listening to her favorite songs in the car (and talking about them)
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When a woman plays her favorite music in the car, she’s not just filling the silence. She’s sharing a piece of her soul. A man who grits his teeth through her playlist or dismisses her songs as “not his thing” is missing a golden opportunity to connect.
Instead, he should ask her why she loves that song or what memories it brings up. Sharing music is sharing emotion.
5. Listening to her favorite podcast clips
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If she excitedly says, “Oh, you have to see this!” and a man sighs in response or looks irritated, it sends the message that what excites her doesn’t matter to him.
Taking a few minutes, sometimes, just seconds, to listen and engage, even if the topic isn’t personally interesting, makes her feel seen and understood. Appreciate her humor if it’s a funny video. Bonus points if he brings it up later in conversation.
6. Asking 'Do you want support, advice, or just a listening ear?'
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When a woman expresses frustration about something, a man’s first instinct is often to jump in and fix the issue. However, there are times when she isn’t looking for a solution. She just wants someone to listen.
A thoughtful approach is to ask, “Would you like advice, support, or just a listening ear?” This simple question clears up confusion and reassures that her feelings are important.
As she vents, he can further show his presence with subtle verbal cues like:
- “Oh, really?”
- “That sounds frustrating,” or
- “Hmm, I get it.”
These small but meaningful responses let her know he’s tuned in without interrupting her flow. They create a natural rhythm in the conversation, reinforcing that he’s emotionally present without feeling pressured to provide all the answers.
7. Flowers and seemingly silly tokens of thoughtfulness
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To men, a bouquet may seem impractical. “They just die in a few days,” he thinks. But to a woman, a surprise bouquet isn’t about the flowers. It’s about the thought.
It’s about knowing he was thinking of her in an unprompted, loving way. The same goes for little notes, her favorite candy, or any other small but meaningful gesture.
8. Random check-ins (even if you think she’ll tell you if something’s wrong)
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Men often assume that if something is wrong, their partner will say so. But women deeply appreciate when their man checks in unprompted: “How are you feeling today?” or “Anything special happen today?”
These small moments of care make her feel emotionally safe and valued.
9. Acknowledging her efforts (even if you think they’re just part of life)
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Men may not see the need to thank their partner for cooking dinner, organizing a family event, or picking up the children, but women do. When a man acknowledges and appreciates these efforts instead of taking them for granted, she feels respected and loved.
10. Letting her influence you (even if you think you know the answer)
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Many men pride themselves on independence and decisiveness, but a strong relationship requires mutual influence. This doesn’t mean losing oneself. It means respecting her perspectives enough to consider her input seriously.
When a man can say, “That’s a great point. I hadn’t thought of it that way,” it shows maturity and deep respect.
11. Being affectionate without expecting more
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Women often feel pressure when every hug, kiss, or touch seems to come with an implied expectation of intimacy and further physical affection. Men who show physical affection purely for the sake of connection, such as holding hands, forehead kisses, and a squeeze on the shoulder, create a safe space where love isn’t transactional but deeply nurturing.
Final Thoughts
For many men, these gestures may feel unnecessary, inefficient, or even trivial. But to a woman, they are the heartbeat of the relationship. Love isn’t about grand declarations. It’s built in the small, everyday moments of understanding and thoughtfulness.
When a man embraces these habits, he not only deepens his connection with his partner but also transforms his relationship into a source of joy, trust, and lasting intimacy.
Richard Drobnick, LCSW, DCSW, is a therapist and the Director at Mars & Venus Counseling Center in Bergen and Morris Counties, New Jersey.
