11 Tiny Social Cues That Tell You Someone Grew Up Struggling Financially
These social cues can reveal a great deal about someone's financial history.
GaudiLab / Shutterstock People may exhibit small social cues that signal the financial struggles they may have faced while growing up. The impact that a struggle like this has on an individual is intense, and it can dictate the way they manage and spend money as an adult.
While it has a major impact on their future financial decisions, there are ways to identify the issue and work towards making more financially sound decisions and overcoming the guilt of spending money. Despite its impact, it does not have to control their future.
These are 11 tiny social cues that tell you someone grew up struggling financially
1. They have an aversion to waste
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If someone grew up struggling financially, they will most likely have an aversion to waste. The displaying of this social cue is due to the mindset that develops as someone constantly has to be in survival mode due to limited resources.
A scarcity mindset is defined by the Cleveland Clinic as being “a specific type of anxiety and cognitive stress experienced by people whose incomes are below the federal poverty threshold.” A 2024 study found that the socioeconomic status of individuals during their youth can directly impact their emotional health in the future. This means a scarcity mindset has a huge chance of developing in the minds of those who grew up financially struggling, and this mindset impacts how they view wasting items.
2. They're always looking for discounts
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When someone is always looking for discounts, there is a possibility that they grew up struggling with money. Not only is this due to their development of a scarcity mindset, but it also could potentially be a learned behavior.
If their parents also hunted for discounts and decided on what to buy based on these discounts, their now-grown-up children will likely do the same out of habit. While observing their parents’ loss of control and power to dictate what they actually want to purchase, it ingrains it into their minds that, in order not to fall back into financial struggle, they also need to let go of control and just settle for what they can. Even individuals who have reached financial freedom will likely still behave in this way, losing all sense of control and making impulse decisions, according to the American Psychological Association.
3. They feel guilty over unnecessary purchases
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If someone constantly feels guilty over unnecessary purchases, they likely grew up struggling financially. This is due to financial trauma that they may have yet to recognize.
“Financial trauma is a collection of mental, emotional, and even physiological responses related to financial hardship or crisis. These responses can include anxiety, sleep disturbances, difficulty concentrating, and feelings of guilt or shame,” explains PenFed Credit Union.
The stress and altered relationship with money that individuals feel due to financial trauma is intense, and it causes them to struggle with feeling okay when they choose to buy things that could be considered more of a want than a need.
4. They take extra good care of their belongings
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When you notice someone who takes extra good care of their belongings, there is a good chance that they experienced financial hardship while growing up. Growing up with this struggle tends to leave a lasting psychological impact on the individuals who endure it.
Financial strain growing up can cause individuals to have a deep-rooted fear of loss and develop a reluctance to let go of certain things, so they will aim to keep their belongings in the best shape possible to hopefully make them last as long as they can. These individuals will also have gratitude for small things because they understand what it was like to not have even the smallest of luxuries growing up.
5. They feel reluctant to let others pay
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When someone is extremely reluctant to let other people pay for them, this may be a sign that they grew up with financial struggles. These struggles influence individuals to feel guilty when it comes to money and develop a need for self-reliance. Allowing someone else to pay for them may be triggering and make them resonate with feelings of unworthiness.
“The negative pressure instigated by hardship can very quickly become overwhelming, putting additional strain on their sense of emotional well-being. Indeed, it is not unusual for those who have lived in poverty to experience symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) related to these circumstances,” explains Crossroads Health, a nonprofit that provides recovery, mental, and primary healthcare to individuals.
They may also feel that they need to be entirely self-reliant to prevent ever becoming a financial burden to others.
6. They keep their finances private
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Someone who feels as though they need to keep their finances extremely private may have grown up with financial hardships. This can be due to several factors, such as financial trauma, a scarcity mindset, and feeling shame and embarrassment around their financial status.
Financial trauma may cause individuals to develop triggers surrounding money that lead them to feel anxious, vulnerable, and show patterns of avoidance. In fear of being judged and perceived as not having a comfortable amount of money, this shame and fear will influence individuals to just keep their financial information to themselves and avoid talking about it with others.
7. They overwork themselves
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If someone is overworking themselves, they may have struggled with finances as they were growing up. In an attempt to overcome financial instability and out of a fear of scarcity, they will work way more hours than they need to be so that they can combat the struggles that have been ingrained in them.
“Workaholism is often a response to financial trauma, as individuals may work excessively to avoid future financial difficulties or setbacks. This behavior can lead to burnout, which has serious mental and physical health complications,” explains Joyce Marter, a licensed clinical professional counselor.
8. They are aware of other people's financial situations
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A person who is constantly aware of other people’s financial situations may have grown up with financial hardships. Developing a learned hypervigilance for economic signals can be this person's way of trying to achieve their own financial stability.
This behavior is not always out of a place of envy, but rather is out of a desire to improve their own financial situation by analyzing the steps other people have taken to improve theirs. A 2022 study found that individuals who grew up in financial instability tend to be more vulnerable when making sound financial decisions and, at times, need to lean on the support of others to help them overcome their financially related psychological distress.
9. They struggle making decisions when having many options
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Someone who struggles to make a decision when they have many options might have experienced financial struggles while they were growing up. The scarcity mindset that develops from facing these struggles influences people to prioritize their immediate needs over what makes the most sense long-term.
According to a study published by ScienceDirect in 2024, “One way poverty may self-perpetuate is by reducing an individual’s ability to exercise self-control through disruptions to associated cognitive functions, specifically executive functioning.”
Executive functioning skills are how people are able to make decisions, so when financial struggles have left these skills impaired, it is easier for people to rely on impulse rather than make sound decisions.
10. They over-purchase when things are on sale
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When someone purchases way more than they actually need simply because things are on sale, there is a good chance that they grew up with financial struggles. These individuals are aiming to regain a sense of control and help ensure that their future survival is secure.
This leads to overcompensation occurring and impulse buying taking over. These things can feel like they are replacing the void a person feels from all the years that they were unable to have certain things. Even if this high is short-lived, it feels worth it to those who have past financial traumas.
11. They hang on to things that might be useful in the future
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When a person holds on to everything just because they believe it will be useful in the future, this is a social cue that signals they once struggled financially as a child. These individuals sometimes resort to hoarding tendencies as a result of their scarcity mindset.
They develop a deep attachment to their possessions because they can recall what it felt like to have little to no possessions at all. It is important to consider the ways individuals can manage the financial stress they feel due to childhood experiences and develop an understanding of finances so that they may thrive in that area of their lives.
This starts by recognizing the financial trauma and scarcity mindset that is dictating the way they manage and spend their money. Once they have been able to take this first step, reaching out to financial advisors and mental health therapists for support is the next step in the right direction.
Kamryn Idol is a writer with a bachelor's degree in media and journalism who covers lifestyle, relationship, family, and wellness topics.
