4 Things Smart People Refuse To Do Once They Respect Themselves Enough To Know Better
We all need to start being kinder to ourselves.
Andrea Piacquadio | Pexels We hear others preach about the importance of self-love, but sometimes it can be hard to take them seriously. Celebrities and influencers say to "just love yourself" without giving any substantial advice on how to do so.
However, smart people know that true self-love isn't a futile pursuit. Scientific evidence shows that self-love can positively impact your mental health, life satisfaction, and overall well-being. The key is realizing that self-love is about prioritizing your needs (whatever they may be) and refusing to sacrifice yourself for the sake of others.
Here are 4 things smart people refuse to do once they respect themselves enough to know better:
1. Drag themselves
The smartest people never engage in negative self-talk. Even if you say you're not serious or you do it as a joke, your brain can't tell the difference and takes it as fact. While this inner voice can sometimes motivate us and keep us moving towards our goals, excessive negativity can be harmful to our mental health.
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Negative self-talk can increase feelings of anxiety, depression, and stress, and even reduce your chances of success, according to some studies. Human behavior expert Beverly D. Flaxington states, "What most people don’t see is that all negative self-talk does is steal. It steals your attention from the present, by helping you stay stuck in the past. It steals your happiness because you can’t focus on the good things when your mind is clouded by the negatives. It steals your relationships, your hopes, your opportunity for better things."
2. Keep toxic people around
Everybody has had a toxic friend or family member. A person who you can have fun with sometimes, but other times, they cause nothing but conflict, confusion, and drama.
You feel drained after being around them, and even just thinking about them might make you feel stressed or anxious. Though we may feel a sense of loyalty to our friends or family, allowing people who don't treat us well to remain in our lives is a total waste of energy.
A survey conducted by Today and SELF magazine found that 84% of women and 75% of men said they have had a toxic friend at some point in their lives. However, the smartest people recognize that they need to get rid of these kinds of people ASAP. They know their worth, and they're not willing to sacrifice their happiness and well-being for the sake of preserving someone else's feelings.
3. Wait for applause
Doing things for yourself is the biggest achievement of all. If you spend your whole life waiting for the approval of others, you'll never truly be satisfied. The people around you come and go, but you're stuck with yourself forever. Your opinion is the one that should matter the most.
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"This is why it’s important to focus on how your need for approval is holding you back from doing tasks that are important to you," said psychotherapist Ilene Strauss Cohen. "Once you move past this, you’ll be free to achieve and create what you want in life with much less stress, because you won’t be so consumed with worrying about what others will think."
4. Associate their worth with their looks
Smart people would never place their value on what their body looks like. Looks will change, and you can't necessarily control it. You can, however, decide how you want to present yourself personality-wise. Your beauty is in your energy and confidence, so don't be afraid to own it!
Psychotherapist John Amodeo shared, "An important part of self-love is accepting ourselves as we are — loving and appreciating our body as it is. We have control over caring for ourselves through radical self-acceptance. We also have control over developing soulful qualities that create a climate for people to take notice and experience a healthy, secure attachment and intimacy with us that can be deeply fulfilling."
Kayla Asbach is a writer currently working on her bachelor's degree at the University of Central Florida. She covers relationships, psychology, self-help, pop culture, and human interest topics.
