Husbands Who Secretly Feel Trapped In Marriage Usually Do These 10 Things At Night
If your husband is feeling trapped, there are probably plenty of secret signs you'll find if you know what to look for.
SB Arts Media / Shutterstock You know, there are certain moments when a person realizes their marriage isn’t where it should be. For my friend Riley* (names have been changed to protect their privacy), it was her last fight with her husband, Nick*. Things had been bad for a while, but the last fight ended up being the one that made Riley realize that her marriage was in a bad place.
Simply put, her husband Nick has been feeling trapped in marriage. It was then she realized that she had a lot of the most common symptoms of a “trapped man” that pop up at night. You might have noticed these signs if your husband is in the same boat.
Husbands who secretly feel trapped in marriage usually do these 10 things at night
1. Avoid coming home
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Did your husband put in a lot of extra hours at work, possibly for no reason? While this is often a sign of cheating with someone at work, this can also be a sign that he just dreads coming home.
Men who are happy in their relationships can’t wait to come home. Men who avoid their homes generally aren’t happy to see their wives.
2. Show a lack of interest in intimacy
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In many ways, physical intimacy is a measuring stick of a marriage’s health. Most men are going to be interested in being with their wives, even if she's not their total fantasy. They will be happy to see a wife who tries to show interest in them.
If your husband makes excuses not to be with you in that manner, that’s not a good sign. It often means he’s checked out of the relationship or is deeply resentful due to feeling trapped.
3. Speak in angry muffles
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You know what I mean by angry muffles, right? Those angry mutterings that people have under their breath when they just can’t deal anymore. They mutter and groan, just within earshot, but never loud enough for you to hear.
This is not just a sign of resentment. It’s also a sign that your husband likely feels trapped with you.
4. Suddenly have a deep interest in solo hobbies
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I’ve noticed this in my own relationship, which seems to be ending. When either one of us felt trapped, we would just dive into our solo hobbies so that we didn’t have to talk to one another. These are things like 'gymming' (no talking) or going to the park to paint. They became our lifeblood.
Hobbies like those are often built to be escapes for moments when a person feels trapped.
5. Start to have wandering eyes
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When you feel trapped with someone, the first thing you start thinking is, “What if?” Or at least, that’s how it’s played out around most of my friends. The experience of feeling trapped often comes from a disconnection or a feeling of being victimized by a partner.
Some people end up cheating (or at least, flirting with someone else) as a way to escape their relationship, albeit temporarily.
6. Express a need for more personal time
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In many cases, the reason why people feel trapped in a relationship isn’t because they aren’t able to get time to themselves or do things that make them happy.
Ask yourself if you’ve been a bit extra joined at the hip with your husband lately. If you have been a little more clingy than usual, giving him space might actually make things better for your relationship.
7. Show zero affection
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Do you have to fish for compliments from your husband? Does it feel like you have to scream and cry to get any sort of attention from him? If you constantly find yourself pulling teeth to get him to react positively, maybe it’s time to recognize something.
He likely feels trapped, resentful, or otherwise checked out. Men generally like it when women pay attention to them.
8. Blame their wives
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For a lot of men, there is no real need to speculate. It tends to be patently obvious because they will quite literally tell you what they are feeling. If they say things like, “Well, you made me marry you,” or “I didn’t ask to have kids,” he feels trapped.
Whether or not he’s right to feel that way is totally a different story, of course. Even so, it’s important to pay attention to how he talks about the relationship.
9. Become distant
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Sometimes, it’s not even a matter of pushing a man into a relationship or anything like that. Even the most “in-jive” relationships can drift apart if people end up taking very different paths in life.
For example, you both might have gotten along in high school, but when he became an accountant and you became a content creator, things might’ve faded. This is not your fault, but it can happen, and it’s a risk in relationships.
10. Behave in a glum manner
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Think about the last time you and your husband went out for a date night. You probably spent a while trying to get him to talk, but every effort just felt like a total wet blanket. You came home defeated.
If this sounds like your husband, he really might not want to be there with you. He might even feel angry for having to be there. If that’s the case, it may be time to cut the date short and bring him home.
Ossiana Tepfenhart is a writer whose work has been featured in Yahoo, BRIDES, Your Daily Dish, Newtheory Magazine, and others.
