LinkedIn Is The New Tinder
From flirty DMS to over-the-top-compliments, the professional network is turning into an unexpected dating app.
Samuel Borges Photography | Canva Once upon a time, LinkedIn was a place to look for jobs and humblebrag about promotions. Now? It’s where lusty professionals go to flirt under the guise of networking. It’s Tinder with a blazer and a steadfast interest in “growth mindset.”
LinkedIn is the new Tinder — and here are five reasons why:
1. People slide into your DMs to network, then lovebomb you with compliments
It always starts innocently: “Hey, I admire your career journey. Would love to connect!” Two messages later, they’re telling you they feel “drawn to your perspective on leadership” and asking if you like natural wine.
Excuse me, sir, is this just office chit chat or courtship? Why is my take on remote team dynamics getting you so excited? When they use words like “synergy” and “vibe” in the same sentence, that’s foreplay.
2. People flirt — just more professionally
wichayada suwanachun / Shutterstock
LinkedIn flirting is subtle, calculated, and often dressed in business casual attire. It’s not “you’re hot.” It’s “your insights on async workflow are (fire emoji).”
Instead of reacting with a heart emoji, they clap under your post about mental health in the workplace. They call you “inspiring” in the exact tone of a founder who once cried during a vision board exercise.
Trust me, you’re not just being hit on. You’re being invested in emotionally.
3. People say 'let’s collaborate' as a means to flirt over Google Docs
In the dating app world, it’s “we should grab drinks sometime.” In the LinkedIn world, it’s “let’s collab on a thought leadership piece!” That’s the new pick-up line. There is no article. There is no campaign.
What there is, is a slow-burn flirtation masked as a brainstorm, ideally held over Zoom with soft lighting and a strategically placed copy of Atomic Habits in the background. Sometimes they’ll want to create a shared Google Doc. Just to look at. Together.
4. People view your personal brand as a dating profile
Thaspol Sangsee / Shutterstock
Nobody sweats over corporate headshots. On LinkedIn, you seduce with soft skills and subtle status updates.
Instead of “Here’s a bikini pic of me in Tulum,” it’s, “After years of people-pleasing in toxic orgs, I’ve finally reclaimed my voice.” Nothing gets them going like a little trauma paired with a Canva quote slide.
And don’t underestimate the power of your job title. “Founder” is the new six-pack. “Fractional CMO” is just “emotionally available, but only part-time.”
5. Everyone wants to 'build something together,' but no one knows what
You match. You message. Suddenly, you’re in a vague, undefined situationship where someone keeps saying they “feel aligned” with you and want to “co-create something.”
You don’t know what the product is. They don’t either. But now you’re emotionally entangled and three shared Notion boards deep.
You might be confused, thinking it’s not dating, but it’s not working. Get used to it, cause you are now vibing in the cloud. It’s on. LinkedIn isn’t a job platform anymore. It’s a slow-moving, MBA-scented dating app where everyone is emotionally constipated but still “so pumped to connect.” It’s where people flirt with words like “pivot,” “resilience,” and “authenticity.”
If someone reaches out to “pick your brain” or “explore alignment,” please know that you’re not going to end up on a legit project. Most likely, you’ll end up a plus one to a corporate meet-up with Rick from Deloitte or obsessing over why Shelly shared her Google Calendar.
Happy networking!
Julia Wolov is a TV comedy writer and performer. She co-created Faking It on MTV, Biatches on Comedy Central Digital, and many other pilots and shows that will never see the light of day. She blabs a lot on Medium and has yet to write something her mother could be proud of.
