11 Things Kids Today Get Away With That Would’ve Gotten Us Grounded For Months
Our parents are giving us some serious side-eye because we let our kids get away with things that would have gotten us in major trouble.
everst / Shutterstock I don't know about you, but there are some things that my children get away with that would have gotten me grounded for eternity. My mom recently visited me, and when she heard an interaction between me and my two teen sons, she was, for lack of a better word, flabbergasted. I had told them to clean their rooms, and the back-and-forth that ensued lasted way too long for her liking. I did my best to avoid her judgmental gaze as she seemed to be trying to figure out where she went wrong with me.
Many of us are raising our children much differently than our parents raised us. While we call it gentle parenting, others might say we are letting our kids walk all over us. According to my mother, I let a few things slide, and now my kids are 'Slip-n-Sliding' all over the place.
Here are 11 things kids today get away with that would’ve gotten us grounded for months
1. Too much screen time
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When we were kids, sitting in front of the TV or computer for hours on end was unheard of. If you happened to do it too long, your parents were guaranteed to force you to go outside and play, or they would confiscate your vices for your own good.
Now, most kids have phones, tablets, and gaming systems in their rooms, always accessible. They use them at their leisure without much oversight. And if they are caught on them at times they are not supposed to be, the consequences are minimal. If we had done the same, we would no doubt be grounded and staring at four walls indefinitely.
2. Talking back or being 'sassy'
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As a young girl, I knew without a doubt that getting smart with one of my parents was a recipe for disaster. I would for sure be in my room on lockdown for a while and would skip any outdoor activities, but could hear all the other kids having the time of their lives. Backtalk was seen as clear disrespect and punished without hesitation.
But our generation of parents empowered our children with free speech and the right to speak their minds. It may have gone a step too far. They argue with you like they are on trial, and you just want to duct tape their little mouths closed. The argumentative behavior is often labeled as "expressing themselves" or "having strong opinions" when it should really lead to long-term grounding.
3. Having private social media accounts
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To be fair, social media really wasn't a thing when I was growing up. But I can only imagine that had it been, my parents would have only allowed me on it while I was monitored, and I most definitely would not be allowed to have private accounts. They were even skeptical when MySpace came out and were quick to shut it down if they had any concerns.
But our kids have accounts across various social media platforms like Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, TikTok, etc. With busy lives, it's hard to keep track of all of their activity, so they are free to do what they want online, something that was previously regarded as very dangerous. If our parents had to deal with that, they would blow a gasket and ground us for life for our own protection.
4. Staying up past bedtime
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Last week, my 14-year-old came wandering into the living room after midnight, knowing full well that he had to be up for school in the morning. I asked him why he was still up, and he nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders, saying, "I wasn't tired yet." That would never have flown with my mom and dad. If I weren't tired, I had to lie there in the dark waiting for sleep to visit me. Staying up would result in a 6:00 PM bedtime for the foreseeable future.
Back then, "Lights out" meant to turn everything in your bedroom off and get into bed. It didn't matter if you had to count sheep for hours as long as you were in bed with everything off. Now, we've got to worry about hidden devices that will allow them to scroll TikTok all night long, making it more likely that we won't get adequate sleep. We take one away, and there's another one we don't even know about.
5. Playing inappropriate video games
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Video games have been around for a long time. They started out innocent enough, but we were still watched by our parents. When they saw things getting out of hand or inappropriate, they were quick to restrict our access. If they had happened to catch you playing a game like Grand Theft Auto, you would have been grounded so long, people would forget who you were.
Nowadays, kids completely ignore game labels regularly, believing they are fully equipped to handle the violence and tasteless things they are about to see. We have become numb to the idea of them pretending to steal cars, run people over, and mow down a crowd. Because it has become the norm, there is usually very little pushback from parents.
6. Disrespecting teachers
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There was a time when kids were expected to treat their teachers with the same level of respect that they would a parent. A call home from your teacher meant game over. You were always wrong, and they were always right. From that point on, you would be coming home right after school until you learned to respect adults.
As children whose teachers always had the presumption of good intentions, we learned that sometimes that assumption is incorrect. There were teachers who did not like us and did not have our best interests at heart. So we overcorrected, believing our kids first. Now parents are much more likely to side with their children than educators, and when there is bad behavior, it can go unchecked.
7. Spending money on apps and games
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I remember the first time I looked at my account and noticed money I had never spent was gone. The number of transactions for different apps and in-game purchases was absurd. No one had asked me to use my debit card. My kids had simply defaulted to the card on file without my permission. After my anger subsided, I removed my card but never took their phones, certain that they had no idea what they were doing. Deep down inside, I knew they were smarter than that.
By contrast, I can recall my parents leaving us with a babysitter for the entire weekend while they traveled to a funeral. We had just gotten cable and were super excited. My brothers and I proceeded to order every movie we could watch and ran the bill up. My parents wasted no time turning the cable off, never to be seen again for the next year. They even made my older brothers get paper routes to pay them back.
8. Dating at a young age
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When my youngest child walked into my bedroom and asked me if his "girlfriend" could come over, I was at a loss for words. When did this child get a girlfriend? On one hand, my first instinct was to say absolutely not. On the other hand, as someone who was a teen mother, maybe it was better to stay close to the situation than to make him feel as if he had to hide things from me. The jury is still out on that decision.
My parents would never have allowed a boy to come over to the house when I was a teenager. As a matter of fact, until I was legally grown, they simply were not having it, and even the question resulted in increased monitoring and restrictions. So, I went to my boyfriend's house, unsupervised, and now we are the proud parents of a son who is just fifteen years younger than me.
It's up for debate as to whether it's better to be strict or a friend to your kids. I'll let you know when I find out.
9. Ignoring your calls or texts
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In my youth, there was nowhere I could go without a call to my parents letting them know. If I disappeared for hours without notifying them, I was going to be in big trouble when I got home. They were keenly aware of the dangers that awaited children out in the world and wanted to be sure that I never fell victim to any of them. If they thought my behavior was getting risky, they'd just keep me locked away in the house for safety.
Cell phones were supposed to make us feel more comfortable away from our children, knowing that they were just a call or text away. Or so we thought. But kids will ignore their parents and leapfrog their attempt at contact to respond to a friend. They have no problem telling you they were busy or that their phone was on silent, knowing that you are too much of a worrywart to take their lifeline away.
10. Using inappropriate language
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If I cussed around my parents as a child, getting grounded was the best outcome I could hope for. We were expected to speak to everyone with respect and dignity, especially grown folks. If your language was bordering on inappropriateness or disrespect, it was not uncommon to be told to "watch your mouth" or to "stay in a child's place." You just knew better.
But our free-spirited sons and daughters say and do whatever they want. They will debate you about whether a word is actually inappropriate or if you just don't like it. They have no qualms about using foul language and explain it away as them expressing themselves or being honest about their feelings. I miss the days when kids had boundaries.
11. Not saying 'please' or 'thank you'
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Basic manners used to be non-negotiable. If someone did something nice, you would always thank them. If you had a favor to ask, saying please was mandatory. Anything else was considered rude, disrespectful, and dismissive. Parents were embarrassed when their kids did not follow protocol, and the swift hand of justice was quick to follow.
Our kids care so much less about making people feel good, and we are partially to blame. Our era of self-care and self-love taught us that "No." is a complete sentence. No need to thank anyone or explain. And saying please turned into extra credit because, "Why can't we just ask the question?" Well, our kids were watching and taking notes and have upped the disrespect and disregard to new levels. And we don't correct it because, unfortunately, many of us model the same behavior.
NyRee Ausler is a writer from Seattle, Washington, and the author of seven books. She focuses on lifestyle and human interest stories that deliver informative and actionable guidance on interpersonal relationships, enlightenment, and self-discovery.
