Groom’s Mom Feels ‘Hurt’ After Bride Talks About Her Own Mother In Wedding Speech
Though her son gave his own speech, she felt that her new daughter-in-law focussed too much on her own mom.
Malysheva Liudmyla | Shutterstock A wedding is a special day not just for the newly married couple, but also for their families. Everyone has likely put a lot of time and effort (and possibly money) into making the day go as smoothly as possible.
One mom shared that she put a lot into her son’s wedding and building a relationship with her new daughter-in-law. Yet, on the big day, she didn’t think she got the recognition she deserved. Rather, she believed the bride’s mom stole the spotlight.
The groom's mom felt hurt after the bride talked about her own mother in her wedding speech.
In a post to the British forum Mumsnet, the mother questioned if she was being unreasonable for feeling upset that her daughter-in-law’ enthused about her mom in her wedding speech, but only briefly mentioned her.
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She explained that her son gave a speech first. He "[thanked] Mum and Dad for everything and [the] bride's family for welcoming him into it," she recounted. Then it was the bride's turn to speak. She, too, thanked both families, including the groom's parents. However, the next bit of her speech rubbed the mother of the groom the wrong way.
The bride went on to do "a whole section on her mum and how much she loves her, how there’s not usually any special moment for [the] mother of the bride in the wedding, so special mention for all of the help she’s given," the woman recalled.
This mother simply couldn’t accept that the bride gushed about her own mom, without doing the same for her. "Would you feel upset and singled out as mother of groom?” she asked.
“For context, I’ve really tried with her, [inviting] them over for lunch and takeaway, but always too busy," the groom's mom added. "She is always pleasant enough but quite prickly. Myself and his dad both gave [approximately] £1,000 each (divorced) towards [the] wedding.”
Other users didn’t think the bride’s speech was a problem at all.
On the forum, there is an option to vote on whether you think the poster is being unreasonable. Over three thousand people voted in this woman’s poll, and 96% believed that she was, in fact, being unreasonable.
"You had a thanks from your son," one person gently reminded her. "She thanked her mum, not her place/responsibility to do a gushy thank you to you. Her mum will always be more special to her."
"I think young women, if they’re close, really do think of their mums on significant life events like this (weddings, giving birth, kids' first day at school, etc.), so I’d forgive her the indulgence," another commenter pointed out. "It has no bearing on you and your contribution to the day."
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Several users suggested that the woman’s blame was misplaced. If she should be mad at anyone, it should be her son for not preparing a speech that matched the bride’s level of enthusiasm about her own mother.
It seems that the bride followed all important etiquette rules in her wedding speech.
The Knot’s Christin Perry said it is a good idea to thank your partner’s parents in your wedding speech. “Acknowledge any contribution your new in-laws made, and express how happy you are to be marrying their child,” she said.
That doesn’t mean, however, that she needed to go above and beyond to shine a spotlight on her mother-in-law. A simple thank you was enough, and that’s what she gave. As commenters pointed out, she is naturally closer to her own mother, who raised her and supported her throughout her entire life. This woman wanted to know if she was being unreasonable, and, really, she was.
Mary-Faith Martinez is a writer with a bachelor’s degree in English and Journalism who covers news, psychology, lifestyle, and human interest topics.
