The Hottest New Accessory For Gen-X Women Like Me? Boundaries.
We spent decades saying yes when we wanted to scream no.
Sergey Makashin | Pexels If you were born between 1965 and 1980, congratulations — you’ve survived cassette tapes, dial-up internet, and the rise of avocado toast! But more importantly, you’ve survived something more insidious: a lifetime of saying “yes” when you wanted to say “no.” It’s time to change that.
Here’s why boundaries are the hottest new accessory for Gen-X women, and how you can enforce them.
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The ‘yes’ trap: Blame it on the ’80s
Gen-X Gals were the original multitaskers. Remember the ’80s? Between watching Square Pegs and trying to keep up with Cindy Crawford’s fashion, we were taught to be everything to everyone — because if Madonna could do it all, why couldn’t we? Fast forward to today, and many of us are still wearing that same cape, but it’s a little frayed around the edges.
Cue the “yes” trap: we’ve spent years saying yes to bosses, families, friends, and even PTA meetings. And while those were all important at the time, many of us are now realizing that it’s time to reclaim some space — our space.
Just like the perfect little black dress, boundaries are timeless. They’re flattering on everyone and, when tailored correctly, they make you feel like a million bucks. So why don’t more Gen-X Gals set them?
The truth is, we weren’t taught how. But here’s the good news: just because you haven’t mastered the art of boundaries yet doesn’t mean you can’t start today. It truly is never too late.
The Gen-X gals guide to boundary setting
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Here’s a starter pack for stepping into your boundary-setting power without feeling like you’re letting anyone down.
1. The power of ‘no’ — start small
The next time someone asks you to bake 50 cupcakes for a community fundraiser, resist the urge to say yes. Practice saying, “I’d love to help, but I can’t take that on right now.”
No explanation needed. It’s the verbal equivalent of slipping on a pair of chic sunglasses — you don’t have to justify why they look good, they just do.
2. Protect your energy — Marie Kondo your calendar
Remember when Marie Kondo taught us to get rid of anything that didn’t “spark joy?" Apply that same logic to your commitments. If you’re not excited about that book club, drop it like a bad ’90s boy band. Gen-X Gals are pros at balancing life — now let’s balance it in a way that works for us.
3. The friend filter — quality over quantity
In your 20s, you probably had a friend group as big as your hair in 1987. Now? It’s about quality. Surround yourself with people who get it — who support your journey to self-care and don’t guilt you into overcommitting. Those are the true keepers.
4. Schedule 'you' time — it’s not selfish, it’s survival
Block out a regular “me time” on your calendar, whether it’s for a solo spa day, binge-watching Golden Girls reruns, or a quiet walk. The world can wait, and you’ll be better for it when you come back refreshed and ready to tackle whatever’s thrown your way — probably another email.
Why boundaries don’t make you a jerk
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There’s a lingering fear among Gen-X women that saying no or setting boundaries makes you the bad guy. But here’s the thing: being nice isn’t the same as being a doormat.
Boundaries don’t make you selfish — they make you smart. The more you protect your time and energy, the more you can give back (to the right people and causes).
Boundaries are a badge of honor for the Gen-X gal. By learning to say no, to protect our time, and to surround ourselves with the right people, we’re taking back control — one “no” at a time. And that, my friends, is what being a Gen-X woman is all about — knowing your worth, owning your space, and rocking your boundaries with unapologetic confidence.
So, next time someone asks you to head up the local bake sale or volunteer for that extra work project, put on your metaphorical leather jacket, flip your hair like it’s 1985, and say it with me: “No, thanks.” Because setting boundaries? It’s the new black, and we all know how well we Gen-X gals rock black.
A.W. Naves is a freelance writer and author from Alabama. She regularly publishes on Medium in the Doing Crime and Gen X Gals publications.
