People Who Actually Respect Themselves Usually Say 7 Phrases Instead Of 'It's OK'
AlpakaVideo | Canva Apologies are an inevitable part of relationships — no partner is capable of being “perfect” all of the time, no matter how intentional and healthy they are. According to mental health expert Steven Stosny, Ph.D., not every apology is going to lead to forgiveness, especially when they’re riddled with patronizing language or insincere resolutions.
Instead of blindly accepting unproductive apologies and harboring resentment down the road, consider using one of these phrases that people who actually respect themselves say instead of “It’s OK” when someone apologizes, not just to protect your relationship, but also your emotional health.
People who respect themselves usually say these phrases when someone says sorry:
1. ‘I hope this doesn’t happen again’
By directly acknowledging someone’s poor behavior, expressing how it made you feel, and setting better boundaries for the future, relationships have the opportunity to thrive after an apology has been issued. Instead of accepting an apology with a phrase like “everything is OK,” consider opening up a deeper conversation to get to the root of your broken trust.
2. ‘I’m willing to forgive you this time’
According to psychotherapist Amy Morin, forgiveness is essential and inevitable in all relationships — everyone makes mistakes; to err is to be human. “Forgiveness is a conscious decision to release feelings of resentment,” Morin explains. "It's a crucial tool in processing hurt and moving on. Even though you may find forgiveness difficult, it's essential for the long haul.”
3. ‘I need time to heal’
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While forgiveness is great, it’s also acceptable to take extra time to unpack your emotions and think about what you need before you do so. Forgiving someone without addressing your needs only sets you up for future frustration and disappointment, so if you’re choosing to move forward, ensure you give yourself time to heal and ruminate after receiving your apology.
4. ‘Even if it wasn’t intentional, your words hurt me’
Sometimes, the chaos of life, stress, anxiety, and lacking emotional intelligence in passing moments can urge people to act in ways they typically wouldn’t, even in relationships they cherish. By pointing out their human tendencies, you can find compromise with people who’ve unintentionally wronged you instead of building resentment.
5. ‘I forgive you, but how do we move forward’
Instead of suggesting that everything “is okay” and moving forward without action items, find ways to forgive with next steps. After all, the best apology isn't words — it's changed behavior.
6. ‘I hear you, but everything isn’t fine’
If you sense someone is giving you an insincere apology or continues overstepping your boundaries after they’ve asked for forgiveness, remind them about your expectations; it's a way to safeguard security in your relationship and fend off resentment, while still clearly expressing your demand for respect.
8. ‘I expect more from my relationships’
A study published in the Negotiation and Conflict Management Research journal argues that an effective and appropriate apology often combines several different components to re-establish broken trust: empathy, compassion, and clear steps forward. When you don’t receive that kind of clarity and intentionality in an apology, don't be surprised if you become resentful way down the road.
7. ‘Can you help me understand?’
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According to psychologist Ryan Howes, there are four stages to true forgiveness: expressing emotion, understanding the “why,” rebuilding safety, and letting go. By asking questions about the intention behind someone’s actions, you not only help yourself to move forward and heal, but you also ensure you set clear boundaries and call out how their behavior made you feel and what you want to be different.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor’s degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
