People Who Think They're Smarter Than Everyone Often Use 13 Phrases In Casual Conversation
Rafael Barros | Pexels When someone believes they have superior intelligence, they sabotage genuine connections and create resentment in their relationships. While the Dunning-Kruger effect could spark this cognitive bias, others chalk it up to pure narcissism.
Regardless of why they act this way, if someone thinks they're the smartest person in every room they walk into, it's obvious by the phrases they use. Their words are inherently demeaning and hurtful, and they're more focused on being right than showing empathy.
When people think they're smarter than everyone, they say these 13 phrases:
1. 'Let me simplify this for you'
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Dismissive behavior is a direct way for people to make you feel unheard and underappreciated. It supports their misguided superiority in a conversation, and is an effort to put you down for not knowing as much as them.
Even in a conversation where you perfectly understand something, someone who thinks they're smarter than everyone uses a phrase like this to degrade your point of view or contradict your opinions. They attack your intellect, rather than your opinions, to shield themselves from being wrong or feeling embarrassed.
2. 'You just don't understand'
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By undermining another person's understanding of a topic or idea, these people attack their confidence. By dismissing their thoughts and making them feel unheard, they protect themselves from valid pushback. But it only fuels their cycle of power and feelings of superiority.
This can manifest in intimate relationships and friendships with people who are uncomfortable expressing honest emotions. It's a gaslighting tactic that helps narcissists avoid taking accountability for their hurtful comments, instead removing themselves from having to be vulnerable.
3. 'You wouldn't get it'
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"You wouldn't get it" isn't just hurtful, it's dismissive as well. And that's what a person with perceived superior intelligence is trying to do. By suggesting you're not understanding something or aren't smart enough to grasp what they're arguing, they remove themselves from having to explain further.
They're simply gatekeeping certain ideas to make themselves feel more important. Even if they don't actually know anything about the specific topic, they're more than willing to act condescending.
4. 'Well, technically speaking...'
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Used both by people with degrees and education and those who don't, a phrase like this has the same intent as any other: make the person they're speaking with feel less intelligent to boast their own knowledge. This might appear as a means to dismiss your opinions and invalidate your emotions, or even completely degrade your point in a conversation.
When people invalidate the emotions or experiences of others, they often find it difficult or impossible to understand how that person feels. While they may think that being "technical" is just making them seem smarter, it's actually painting them as rude.
5. 'You have to think about it on a deeper level'
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By alluding to their own complex thinking processes and suggesting your conversation is superficial, people who think they're smarter, despite that not being true, indirectly degrade your intellect and understanding. And they do it with a simple phrase like this.
Similarly to how someone with an inflated sense of self or status will utilize name-dropping techniques or interruptions to assert their superiority, intellectually misguided folks will use this phrase to put themselves on a pedestal. They think they're better than those around them, and try to sound smart by putting down another's intelligence.
6. 'I hate to be the one to tell you this'
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People who rely on their own superiority often struggle with not knowing. Because they're so used to convincing others of their intelligence, when they don't understand a topic or emotion, they demonize it rather than trying to learn it.
In conversations with other people, they shift their perceived embarrassment over to someone else. They really don't get that there's a healthy level of comfort in not knowing everything.
As educator Darren Bagley explained, "When you have a great deal of confidence, you might not seek additional knowledge because you think you know it all. The more knowledge you gain in a subject, the more you understand the complexity and nuance of the topic."
7. 'No offense, but'
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People who believe their intelligence is higher than it is often claim to be brutally honest, rather than admitting their actions are hurtful. But if someone is constantly hurting your feelings or making you feel bad, it's important to take a step back and reassess their position in your life.
In her guide "Leading With Compassion, professor Louay Safi argues that the healthy people in our lives lead with empathy in their conversations. Even amid conflict or disagreements, they speak with the purpose of informing, not bringing someone down who is already struggling.
8. 'It's just common sense'
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If you're trying to learn something new or struggling to understand a concept, and someone continually says a phrase like this, they're clearly not as smart as they're trying to convince others they are. They not only sound unintelligent, but are making themselves out to be a know-it-all.
A truly intelligent person will take the time to teach and even find joy in helping someone learn because they're driven by curiosity and not pride. They're constantly learning new things and expanding their knowledge, and they're more than happy to share that with everyone.
9. 'Let me give you some advice'
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Any kind of unprompted advice won't land well, even if it's from a loved one with good intentions. And when it's in a conversation with someone who thinks they're smarter than everyone else, things become tense very quickly.
Unsolicited advice not only causes immense amounts of stress, but it can negatively affect your relationships. It feels manipulative and derogatory, even if it's not meant that way.
10. 'Well, actually...'
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Typically used to illuminate the contrast between someone's opinion and the truth, the word "actually" feels much more demeaning and accusatory. When it's in a conversation with someone who believes their intelligence surpasses that of the average person, them trying to point out how an opinion is invalid is an effort to protect their own ego.
If it feels condescending, it probably is. If you don't feel respected in a conversation when a phrase like this is thrown around, you're likely not surrounded by people that value your space or understand you.
11. 'I'm just being honest'
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Many narcissistic people rely on a misguided intellectual confidence to assert their dominance. According to a study published in the Current Directions in Psychological Science, they're driven by self-preservation and external validation. They're always willing to put other people down to help their own image and superiority.
A phrase like this serves as a vessel for these narcissists to avoid accountability for their hurtful comments. They might be honest in their own eyes, but they're also being manipulative and self-serving.
12. 'You're missing the point'
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When someone says "you're missing the point," they're implying that the person they're speaking to isn't smart enough to grasp a simple issue. Even if it's a complex topic, phrases like this completely dismiss the health of a productive debate or conversation.
Instead of explaining things thoroughly or giving people grace, they put their own comfort first. They feel superior by demeaning others, despite seriously misjudging how smart they actually are.
13. 'You just need to do this'
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If you're actively asking for advice, a phrase like this might not feel cruel. In fact, it might be tough love from a friend or advice from a parent, encouraging you to take a leap and do what you need to do. But when this phrase is unsolicited, it morphs into something completely different and malicious.
Starting with "just," anyone using this little word is already demeaning another. They're arguing that whatever they're struggling with isn't actually that difficult, and they're overcomplicating or not understanding something.
Zayda Slabbekoorn is a senior editorial strategist with a bachelor's degree in social relations & policy and gender studies who focuses on psychology, relationships, self-help, and human interest stories.
