If A Man Displays These 7 Harmful Behaviors, He's Definitely Not A Good Person
Certain behaviors reveal a man's true character, and spotting them early can save you pain.
Vicky Hladynets | Unsplash Emotional abuse, specifically, usually stands for loud shouting or screaming, or complaining. But often it happens much quieter. It’s extremely discreet, to the point where it’s pretty hard to be recognized. Specialists call such unobvious emotional violence “quiet abuse.”
This is a verbal form of abuse that we express through talking or through silence. If a man shows certain toxic patterns, it's a clear sign he lacks integrity and empathy. Here are a few harmful behaviors that reveal he's not the kind of person you want in your life.
If a man displays these 8 harmful behaviors, he's definitely not a good person:
1. He's rude in a normal voice
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Insulting at a normal noise level is also a way of abusing your partner emotionally. Giving offensive nicknames to a friend or a partner is a pure form of emotional violence.
Such a type of emotional abuse might come from a colleague or your boss as well. So, you should pay attention to this not only when it comes to your romantic relationship.
2. He exhibits mean behavior
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If your partner calls you “fatty”, then claims they’re just messing around and you’ve been overreacting, it’s a red flag. An emotionally abusive partner might call you too sensitive and mask it as a joke. And this is to make you feel guilty when complaining about something they’ve done.
Such behavior is a form of verbal abuse seen in romantic relationships and the working environment. It can significantly impact your overall positive attitude towards yourself. You shouldn’t accept it at all if it’s putting you down.
3. He makes you feel guilty
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Guilt-tripping is another form of emotional violence. This is an abusive manipulation that aims to make you do something for someone.
A 2014 study found that guilt-tripping comes at a cost in romantic relationships, as the person who gives in to the guilt trip can feel manipulated and become even more dissatisfied with the relationship.
4. He ignores you
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Avoiding contact and engagement with you when you disagree with your partner or friend is another signal. You could be a victim of stonewalling or be given the cold shoulder.
This kind of behavior can be the worst form of silent emotional violence. Studies have also shown that being ignored can sometimes manifest as physical pain.
5. He won't listen to you
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If your partner doesn’t listen when you’re talking to them or gives you the silent treatment, it means you have a problem with your relationship. Usually, this is a form of silent emotional abuse that could make you feel unappreciated.
If this happens, there’s no doubt you’re being abused and disrespected. Research has indicated that this dismissive behavior shows a lack of respect and is insulting, which makes it difficult to make a healthy relationship.
6. He treats you disrespectfully
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Your partner might treat you badly or disrespectfully through their actions and yet blame you for taking it too seriously. As we mentioned before, in such a situation, a silent emotional abuser could try to excuse their behavior. They could blame you for being too sensitive.
Renowned American psychologist John Gottman's research identifies contempt as a primary predictor of relationship failure. Disrespectful behaviors like constant criticism, disregarding your boundaries, and emotional invalidation reveal a lack of regard for your worth, which points to an unhealthy approach to relationships.
7. He humiliates you
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Sometimes, it’s really difficult to understand how they manage to humiliate you that much. Usually, the strongest indicator that there is a problem is that when you are around them, you feel bad about yourself.
This type of emotional abuse is more destructive compared to obvious violence. The reason is simple. Silent abuse is harder to recognize, and this means we might not be able to take measures on time. Another problem is that even if we do, we could be blamed to be overreacting.
We perceive shouting as an act of direct aggression, and reactions against it come naturally. But when we fall victim to silent abuse, we could decide it’s us who are seeing the situation as falsely offensive, and it’s us again who have provoked it. This is why you may feel guilty trying to bring up the way that you feel against a partner who uses silent abuse against you, too.
Maria Hakki is a writer and translator. She has been featured in I Heart Intelligence, Australian National Review, and more.
