5 Habits Of Quietly Successful People That Miserable Folks Always Overlook
When you learn to let go, you’ll transform your life and relationships.
Steven Aguilar | Unsplash It is difficult to accept anything if you are still holding on. Imagine holding a trunk full of everything that ever happened to you. Your past experiences, regrets, concerns, shame, and blame. It is so heavy that you can’t take on anything else, and then you see in front of you all that you desire and want, but you don’t have a free hand to reach out to get it because you’re carrying this massive trunk that is weighing you down.
But all of the hurt and setbacks can be taken as lessons, and learning how to let go of the past is the kick you need to move on. Because when you keep on pulling this baggage, everything suffers — your job, your friendships, your relationships, and your whole life — and you're stuck, unable to discover how to be happy.
Here are five habits of quietly successful people that miserable folks always overlook:
1. Saying the Serenity Prayer
Reinhold Niebuhr wrote: "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and wisdom to know the difference."
- "God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change."
Ask yourself: can you change it? Know that we cannot change people, places, or things. Letting go of thinking you can remove the frustration and free yourself.
- "Courage to change the things I can."
You can change your thoughts, actions, and beliefs. Change your thinking and watch how your feelings transform about yourself and others.
- "And wisdom to know the difference."
What a gift to know you have a choice. You get to choose every day how you will feel. Choose wisely.
2. Remembering things will only have the meaning they are given
oneinchpunch via Shutterstock
Nothing can bother you unless you give it the power to do so. Many incidents in your life have impacted you in some way, but for how long would you carry them along?
The only meaning anything has is what you give it. If you decide something was horrible, you will always go back to it that way. Instead, look for what was good about it. Was it a lesson or an incident? Did you make it small or big? It is all a choice. You get to write the story.
Learn how to let go of the past, and know that the weight will lessen when you decide to put it all down. What has happened is a thing of the past. When you stop giving it a negative meaning, you will wake up one day and see that it does not anger or sadden you anymore.
3. Not letting the past define the future
Anger and hurt cause more pain for the person carrying it, more than who caused it. Let go of the hurt because it is not affecting that person, but it is affecting you. They have moved on, but you may have chosen to hold on.
Holding on to such feelings will hurt you daily. When you get rid of the pain, you can move on peacefully.
4. Remembering hurt only hurts the person carrying it
javi_indy via Shutterstock
Everyone has a chapter in their life that they do not read out loud. It might be full of numerous things, but if you were wronged or hurt in the past or were unable to achieve something, it does not mean the past will repeat itself.
You had an experience and probably learned something out of it, too. You need to understand that your past does not define you, but the choices you make right now do.
5. Learning to love the self
The most important relationship in your life is the one with yourself. No one else is responsible for you. You are in control of your life, and you deserve better. You may have trusted the wrong people, invested too much, and ended up getting hurt, but why keep on blaming yourself? Life goes on, and so should you.
Love yourself and, if you need to, forgive yourself so you live a content life. If you are having a hard time doing this on your own, reach out for help.
Lisa Lieberman-Wang is a relationship expert, and author, and has been seen by millions on ABC, NBC, CBS, FOX, and CW as their Success Strategist, Relationship, & Breakthrough Expert. She’s spoken on some of the most prestigious stages, including Harvard University, the Navy, Women Leading the Future, and more.
