The Art Of Being Magnetic: 7 Simple Habits Of Naturally Magnetic People
Ever wonder why some people make friends easily and light up every room? These habits explain why.
Fira Fatul | Pexels Making new friends as an adult can be difficult. With the ease of connecting through social media, communication and connection should be a breeze, but it can often feel harder than ever. To understand how to make friends, you might want to learn some communication skills from people who are naturally magnetic and socially well-connected and find out what their secrets are.
While some people may be naturally magnetic and gregarious and find themselves socially connected with no effort involved, for most of us, feeling truly integrated into a social scene takes some effort. Luckily, there are predictable patterns of social success. Do certain things, and people will be magnetically drawn to you.
Here are 7 simple habits of naturally magnetic people:
1. They focus on quality over quantity
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Magnetic people who feel socially connected may have a thousand Facebook friends and even more Instagram followers, but they know deep down that this is not the heart of their social circle. In other words, they know that most social media friends are acquaintances at best.
While having many acquaintances is certainly not a bad thing, those who succeed socially understand that acquaintances need to eventually turn into actual friends if they want to feel truly tied to that friend group. They don’t settle for quantity; they always go for quality.
2. They prioritize face-to-face interactions
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Most naturally magnetic people recognize that maintaining relationships requires a bit of effort, and one of the efforts they prioritize is seeing other people in person. While in-person interactions can feel much less efficient than online or phone interactions, there’s a value to in-person communication that socially successful people understand. It’s how you start seeing people as just that — people.
Studies show a direct link between face-to-face interaction and positive emotions, while digital communication can sometimes have the opposite effect. This is because digital platforms often lack the non-verbal cues and subtle emotional exchanges that are present in real life interactions.
3. They make people feel seen
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To feel socially connected to others, it’s vital to feel seen by the people around you. But to feel seen, you have to let others get to know you. Naturally magnetic people understand this and are willing to share at least bits and pieces of personal information with others.
This doesn’t mean over-sharing with strangers; it simply means making yourself a little vulnerable to those you want to feel close to. Research identifies the feeling that you are significant to others as an essential component of well-being. Feeling seen and noticed is the most basic form of mattering, and it reduces the risk of anxiety and depression.
4. They give people their full attention
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While introverts often have a hard time feeling as socially connected as extroverts, it’s definitely not a given that the most extroverted person in the room is also the most naturally magnetic. He may garner a lot of attention, but if an extrovert can’t learn a bit about those around him — by quietly listening to them — those around him will hardly feel close to him.
Listening to others makes people want to be around you, and wanting to be around each other is the essence of feeling connected. Active listening signals empathy and understanding, which builds a strong foundation of trust in relationships, according to research. Active listening creates a safe environment where individuals feel comfortable exploring uncomfortable or difficult aspects of their experiences.
5. They're curious about people on a deeper level
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Naturally magnetic people get that, fundamentally, all social interaction is about demonstrating interest in one another. If you don’t act like you’re interested in those around you, you’ll come across as aloof, cold … possibly even rude.
The easiest way, by far, to demonstrate an interest in others is to ask them questions. The most socially successful people ask factual questions, like, “What do you do for work?” But they also ask questions that are more subjective, like, "How do you like what you do for work?” These two types of questions, used in conjunction with one another, accelerate feelings of connectedness.
6. They see past differences
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As you learn more about those around you through listening and asking questions, you’ll inevitably notice some differences between you and them. Be it politics, religion, or lifestyle choices — differences will arise.
Naturally magnetic people realize that nobody will be and act, and look exactly like them, so they make an effort not to let differences stand in the way of closeness. They understand that fundamentally we’re all human, and we can all naturally relate to one another.
The intergroup contact theory suggests that contact between people from different groups can help in reducing prejudice. The theory argues that when people from different backgrounds interact, they can eventually see one another as similar, eventually leading to feeling less threatened.
7. They're not afraid of rejection
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It’s perfectly natural to fear rejection when entering a new social group or meeting a new person you really like. The leap that naturally magnetic people make is that while they likely feel this fear, they don’t worry about it.
In other words, they don’t dwell in fear and allow it to turn into an unproductive rumination on everything that could go wrong. Instead, they identify the people they want to be close to and march bravely into that relationship despite any fears that may arise.
These seven habits of naturally magnetic people are straightforward to get started on right away. Pick the one you think would have the biggest impact on your social life and give it a try.
Kira Asatryan is a certified relationship coach and author of Stop Being Lonely: Three Simple Steps to Developing Close Friendships and Deep Relationships.
