What His Disney Princess (Or Villain!) Crush Says About Him

Is it creepy to crush on a cartoon character? Yes. Especially when you're an adult. That said, if a guy you know is crushing on any of the following Disney princesses or villains, he's probably a creep, or at least has creep tendencies. But aside from the indications of having the hots for cartoon characters in general, which specific cartoon characters someone lusts after says a lot about their own character. Which Disney princess implies that a guy may or may not be a date rapist? Which Disney villain crush means he probably wants to bone the Kardashian matriarch? Read on, find out and maybe get a protective order.

1He loves Cinderella? Dude is old school, conservative and may very well have a foot fetish.

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2He's into Lady Tremaine? He likes conniving cougars. If Kris Jenner lives in your hood, keep her away from your husband.

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3Drusilla and Anastasia? He doesn't mind a butterface and probably quotes Sir Mix-A-Lot. A lot.

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4Okay, creeps. Seriously, Wendy Darling? A child who pretends to be Peter Pan's mom and then tries to make out with him? He's both a pedophile and has an Oedipus complex. Get a restraining order STAT.

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5If he likes Tinkerbell, he's into spinners with a jealous side.

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6If he's into Alice, he won't get mad when you fall into a rabbit hole of reading his emails and archived Facebook messages. Also, he may be into hallucinogens.

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7A man who likes Belle is into smart chicks. Also, his idea of love may involve kidnapping you or your parents and hoping Stockholm syndrome kicks in.

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8If your man has a crush on Aurora, he probably owns stock in rohypnol. Run.

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9Maleficent! He's into fierce women and will probably get turned on when you're mad. Expect a lot of drama but some awesome make up sex.

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10A man who loves Princess Jasmine wants a strong woman who won't put up with his bulls*it. It also helps if you were born rich, because he probably doesn't have a job.

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11Despite what recent research suggests, there is a market for redheads out there. And that stock goes up when he knows you'll be very quiet and are willing to literally sell your soul for him. Basically, a man who's into Ariel digs gingers but ultimately hates women.

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12A man who loves Ursula is into independent women who can hustle. He'll probably be turned on by manipulation.

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13If your man is into Queen Elsa of Frozen, he's into ice queens who are secretly warm inside. Aw.

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14If he loves Princess Anna, he loves 'em young and dumb. Start reading more books and move on to someone better.

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15If he loves Megara, he won't judge you for going through Hell.

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16Dude's a keeper! A man who loves Merida wants a woman who doesn't need him and he won't mind when your hair is unmanageable in humidity.

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17Mulan is a badass. A man crushing on her won't mind submitting to a strong woman. He probably also enjoys talking about how he's like, the biggest feminist ever and how he knows how hard you must have it. Which is nice, but at the end of the day, he also still just wants to get laid.

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18The way to a man after Princess Tiana's heart? Through his stomach. And maybe voodoo.

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19Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair! This guy won't mind rescuing you from your imaginary ivory tower, but don't even think of winning him over with a pixie cut.

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20This guy doesn't mind being in an interracial romance, which is rad. But he also doesn't care about history, which kinda sucks.

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21If he's into Snow White, he's not a jealous guy seeing as he has no qualms about you having several male roommates, but he's also a necrophiliac. Hey, you do you.

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22He's not scared of a woman who goes after what she wants, even if what she wants is the human heart of a tween. He probably owns at least one lamp made from human skin.

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23Does he know "gypsy" is a slur? In any case, he probably tips street performers handsomely.

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24Dude, seriously? Nala is a f*cking lion. Get help.

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