The Art Of Seduction: 5 Simple Habits Of Naturally Seductive People
Real seduction starts long before the lights go out.
Nicolle Kreisch | Canva Your passion is all in the brain, and seduction isn't limited to the purely tactile. Every interaction with your partner is a chance to get in the mood, or out of it. Everyday stress and resentment can wreak havoc on your love life. But you're not going to settle for that, are you?
I looked at the research and talked to relationship experts to determine five ways to engage in ordinary but powerful actions that can increase intimacy between you and your partner. Oh, and they all take place well outside the bedroom, which means you can start implementing these ideas right now.
The art of seduction: 5 simple habits of naturally seductive people:
1. Try something new together
Ever notice that you have more intimacy on vacation? There's a psychological reason for that, and it's called expansion theory. In a nutshell, expansion theory posits that people are highly motivated to expand their horizons. This is why we often prefer the new and exciting over the old and familiar.
Sure, you love your partner, but you've "been there, done that." The personality traits that initially charmed you are old news, if not occasionally annoying. You can't make your partner seem completely mysterious, nor would you want to, but one way to revive intimacy is to try something new together that you’re both excited about. A vacation is one idea, but there are many other affordable options, like a new cuisine or a class.
2. Turn chores into "choreplay"
Prostock-studio via Shutterstock
A 2016 survey by the Pew Research Center found that a majority of adults who share housework are happier in their marriages. Another study from the American Psychological Association reported that men who help with chores tend to have more intimacy than men who don't. Coincidence? We think not.
When both partners pitch in at home, there are more opportunities to make housework more romantic. Try cleaning the house together to a sultry soundtrack, or dusting halfway in the buff. Use kissing breaks as incentives for completing tasks. See for yourself if you start looking forward to otherwise mundane activities. Hey, "loading the dishwasher" might become your new favorite hobby.
3. Schedule an intimacy date
You're probably thinking, "What could be less romantic?" Sure, most couples only talk about scheduling intimacy when they're trying to get pregnant, but making an appointment to focus on each other can actually make you both alive with anticipation the whole day. There's something so seductive about fantasizing.
And don't forget the fun part: sending each other romantic texts all day as little reminders of what's to come. While you're at it, give it a funny name that'll be your inside joke. If it's Wednesday, make it a literal Hump Day, or call it Frisky Friday, or Steak and Saucy Night.
4. Work out together
PeopleImages.com - Yuri A via Shutterstock
Countless studies have linked regular exercise to more frequent and enjoyable intimacy. People who work out have more energy and flexibility, and they look better. The latter's a win-win. An attractive partner isn't just a good thing to have. It’s a good thing to be — people enjoy intimacy when they feel good about their bodies.
Getting a workout together has its benefits: not only do you get to see each other working up a sweat, but exercising counts as some high-impact quality time. And what better way to motivate and encourage each other to be healthy and feel great? A study of exercise benefits showed that couples who work out together are 34 percent more likely to stick to it. Sounds like there really is something to the "buddy system" after all.
5. Show you care when you're apart
When you're first dating someone, the little gestures are everything. So why not bring them back? There's hardly a bigger turn-on than knowing your partner is thinking about you when you're not together. Fire off flirty texts, take care of tasks or chores you know your partner dreads, or prepare their favorite meal. And soon, things might be too hot to handle.
As author, therapist, and intimacy expert Esther Perel says, "It's impossible to be in the heat of the moment if you're thinking about your to-do list. The most important turn-on you could give your partner [is] helping them check off that list to focus on more romantic tasks at hand."
Amanda Green is a writer with experience in copywriting, branded content, social media, and editorial.
