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Don't botch your flirt.
By Devon Brown
Last updated on Oct 24, 2023
One of the most effective ways to initiate communication and let a person know you are interested is by flirting with them.
Flirting demonstrates your confidence and shows them your intriguing, playful side. However, flirting can backfire or take you in an unintended direction if not done correctly. The following are seven flirting mistakes you should avoid.
Here are 7 subtle flirting mistakes even the savviest women make:
1. Playing games
Playing mind games or playing hard to get is never good. It may work here and there, but people with any level of self-respect will not keep chasing another person who plays games. If you are interested in someone, show them you are interested, or they will move on.
2. Being disrespectful
Sarcasm and humor can be tools when flirting. Humor keeps the discussion relaxed, while sarcasm can show them your feisty side. However, you want to be careful not to be mean-spirited. You don't want to offend them or embarrass them. Teasing someone about something they say or do is different than challenging their worth.
3. Being whiny
Asking for help may be a means of flirting for you. People like feeling helpful and being the hero. Additionally, the person you are interested in may be eager to show you how strong they are. However, you do not want to be seen as whiny.
Don't ask for help in conjunction with complaining about family, friends, work, or landlord. Likewise, don't stalk them by constantly needing their help and advice.
4. Being too clingy
People do not like when you are too clingy or get possessive quickly. There is a difference between touching their arm while talking and hanging on their arm while they try to talk to their friends. If you just met them, do not get jealous or clingy if they start talking to another person. They will think you are unappealing.
5. Coming on too strong
You want to be mindful of what you say and how strong you come on to a love interest. Coming onto a person too strong may lead them to think you are only looking for a hookup. Likewise, making sexual jokes may lead them to believe you want to hook up. This tip, of course, does not apply if you are, in fact, only looking for a hookup.
6. Flirting when they are angry
There are good times to flirt and bad times to flirt. When a person is visibly angry about something, you want to avoid flirting. They will likely be too distracted by whatever has caused their anger to give you an honest chance. If they are sad or disappointed, flirting may cheer them up.
7. Flirting in a professional setting
This is a big mistake. This may include a company party or professional banquet. Flirting in these situations can be taken wrong and may cause people to view you differently in your career and lead to negative consequences within your job.
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Devon Brown is a dating and relationship coach who provides advice for women looking for good partners.