Woman Wonders What To Do When Her Pastor Husband Asks Her To Raise The Baby He Had With His Mistress
He insists it's her duty, but she wants to leave.
Liza Summer/Pexels Infidelity is an incredibly difficult situation even in the best of circumstances.
But one woman on Reddit's situation with her husband's affair had layer upon layer of complicated troubles.
In a post to the "r/TrueOffMyChest" subReddit, where people go to air out the struggles of their lives, she described what went down when her husband cheated on her.
The story is nothing short of harrowing.
A woman's pastor husband wants her to raise the baby he had with his mistress.
She writes that her husband confessed only recently that he was having an affair with a member of their congregation, and the situation had become untenably complicated.
The pastor's mistress died after giving birth to their twins, as did one of the babies.
The wife's husband said she needed to 'step up' to help care for the baby because 'God had blessed them.'
The wife's husband confessed to his affair while the surviving baby was still in the neo-natal intensive care unit fighting for its life.
He asked her to convert her home office into a nursery so that they can raise his and his mistress's baby together.
The wife was obviously blind-sided and told her husband she was not sure she would be able to raise the baby as her own.
Her husband then told her God would never give them more than they could handle.
She replied, "it seemed God had given her more than she could handle because she had died."
The woman's husband slapped her, told her she had to 'serve' him, and that God had 'chosen' her to be the baby's mother.
The woman said she cried so hard she threw up afterward, and is now totally confused.
She struggles with infertility, and had been saving for IVF treatments, but writes, "but now that I have a chance to have a child I do not want it. I feel like I’d be robbing its mother's grave."
She also writes that the experience has tested her faith, "I pray to God but if I’m being honest it’s never felt like anyone was ever listening."
And she has totally lost faith in her husband. "I feel like I have truly seen my husband," she writes. "I want to abandon him and the child."
But she feels intense guilt, writing that "neither him nor the child deserve[s] this."
Reddit commenters were shocked by the situation, and begged the woman to leave her abusive husband.
Many Redditors were shocked by the husband's hypocrisy.
"[Her] husband also preaches about the 'vows' she made but what about him?" one person mused. "Such a fu-king hypocrite. If the [mother] hadn’t died, did he even plan to tell [his wife] about this second family?"
"Leave leave leave. You cannot trust this man," another person wrote. "You have absolutely no obligation to become his mistress’s child’s mom."
"This isn’t sister wives," they continued. This is all a very unfortunate and sad situation but you are a hurt party here."
Other users worried for the woman's safety, saying that the woman's husband's abuse is sure to escalate.
"This is also the first step in a downhill slide," one Redditor said. "Abusers always see what they can get away with, then push for more."
As one person put it, "Not just leave him but probably the whole area too."
"Now that there's no witnesses he can spin this to his congregation that his evil ex-wife left him for taking in this orphan in need. The potential for harassment is crazy in this situation."
And one person tried to give advice in an empathetic way that might most resonate with the wife given her religious values.
"Even in Christianity, divorce is acceptable when someone commits Infidelity… leave now and don’t turn back."
If you or someone you know are experiencing abuse or domestic violence, you are not alone.
The National Domestic Violence Hotline defines domestic violence, domestic abuse, or relationship abuse as a “pattern of behaviors use by one partner to maintain power and control over another person in an intimate relationship.”
Anyone of any race, age, sexual orientation, religion, or gender can suffer from domestic abuse.
If you or someone you know is suffering from domestic abuse or violence, there are resources to get help.
For more information, resources, legal advice, and relevant links visit the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help via online chat or call 1-800-799-SAFE (7233).
If you’re unable to speak safely, text START to 88788.
John Sundholm is a news and entertainment writer who covers pop culture, social justice and human interest topics.